Fic, Lost: Repetition Does Not Transform a Lie Into a Truth (Boone/Shannon), PG13

[janie_tangerine]

And yours truly is done with another table. Yay! It's not like I'm so really convinced of this one but I'm convinced I'll never have a serious Boone/Shannon bunny even if I tried so I just went with it. And I needed to get away from Kant's politics for a while.

Title: Repetition Does Not Transform a Lie Into a Truth
Rating: PG13 to be way sure (always sorta incest, right?)
Characters/Pairing: Boone/Shannon
Word counting: 540
Disclaimer: If they were mine, he'd be alive and she'd have treated him better.
Spoilers: Up until Do No Harm but really, is that even a spoiler?
Summary: What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.
A/N: for 12_stories #6, truth. And apart from the fact that I'm done with that table I don't think there's really that much to say ;) title found on quotationspage.com. I hope Mr. Franklin Delano Roosevelt doesn't kill me all over again in the afterlife for the use I made of his line.

What’s most pathetic, is that Boone died believing all the crap she had always told him, or so she figures.

Maybe it isn’t true, maybe he had always known better than her. Maybe he had seen through all the lies she had thrown over him since that night when she refused his money.

And then we’ll just go back to what it was.

That had been just the last one. She can’t really count them now and she doesn’t want to.

She had tried to go back to what it was and look at the result.

She can’t help thinking that if she had been sincere with him just once maybe it wouldn’t have happened. She had been on the verge of doing it once, when he started drifting away; then she hadn’t, and doesn’t she regret it now?

Oh, he had been lying to her, too. That was for sure. Because if he had asked for Shannon while he was dying, then everything he told her that day at the caves had been a lie and she had fallen for it, indeed. Now, that was just ironic, that he managed to cheat her as easily as she had cheated him, and she had fallen for her own trick.

Now Shannon just wishes she could have told him that she hadn’t really meant any of what she had said to him during the last year or so, that she should have never used what she knew he felt for her as the last resource and that she did love him, even if not that way.

She can’t now. He died thinking at best that she hadn’t really cared about him at all; at worst, he probably thought she hated him. Nonetheless, he was asking for her, not for someone else, and she hadn’t been there. She had been on another beach and the night when he died was the one in which she had been happiest since crashing here, and isn’t that ironic?

She never hated him; maybe she convinced herself because then thinking about that night in Sydney would have been much easier, but well, that was just the worst of the lies she had kept telling herself.

She had never loved him the way he loved her, but she had loved him. She just had never admitted it to herself for good because it’s easier to con someone you hate than someone you love. It wasn’t even his fault, it wasn’t like he ever did anything to deserve it except accepting a job and offering to help her out.

She doesn’t want to go inside that cave, she can't bring herself to, but ultimately she does. At this point it isn’t a question of what she wants anymore.

The truth is that he wasn’t God’s friggin’ gift to humanity. He was life’s friggin’ gift to her and she realized it at least one month and a week too late; at least, she should have realized it before knocking on the door of his room in Sydney.

She’s kneeling over him and crying when she tells him she’s sorry, and that’s the first true thing she has said to him since she can’t even remember when. She figures it’s better late than never, even if it will never be enough.

End.

Comments

[enamors.livejournal.com]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNEEE! *sniffle* I miss him so much.

This was fantastic. I especially like this part, "and that's the first true thing she has said to him since she can’t even remember when."

So good.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

*coughs* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEE!! *coughs* erm, yes, my dear, you're missed and the writers suck. *squishes him*

Thank you so much! I wasn't really that sure of this one so it's great to hear you liked it, thanks again! God, why is he dead? Just why? *sighs*

[enamors.livejournal.com]

lol. You hussy you! XD

Seriously, why they killed him off so early I'll never know. He's needs to come back again for another stint as a hot zombie.

Also, if you get a chance, could you point me in the direction of some of your Boone icons? I can't find them and I kinda want to cry.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Oh definitely!

batch that kind of sucks apart from some (http://community.livejournal.com/rockin_graphix/46803.html#cutid1)

batch that doesn't suck as much ;) (http://community.livejournal.com/rockin_graphix/68437.html)

Then I have some other scattered around but majority is there ;)

He's needs to come back again for another stint as a hot zombie.

He needs to be the resident zombie and guide whoever is left there with his pearls of wisdom, totally ;)

[enamors.livejournal.com]

Yes! Thank you so much!

[kros-21.livejournal.com]

bellissima Janice!!!!!!!!
Dovresti scrivere di più su questi due!!!!!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

LOL volentieri, non fosse che o mi viene lui che si fa il sangue amaro o lei che è in preda ai sensi di colpa ;) giuro che se mi viene qualcosa di più interessante per quei due ci ritorno su y/y? ;) ♥ grazie!

[tellshannon815.livejournal.com]

Great work, always good to see more Shannon and Boone fic out there!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks! There isn't really much and it's a pity. But well, one does what she can ;) thanks again, glad you liked it!

[tellshannon815.livejournal.com]

You know what idea has always interested me? Turning the triangle the other way around, having Boone be the one interested in someone else and how Shannon would have reacted to that.
I would write it, but I can't decide who to make the other person, whether to use someone we know or create someone new.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Now that'd have been an interesting idea! Uhm, female speaking I can't really see anyone he could have been interested in. I've read a couple of Boone/Claire but I don't know, it never clicked with me. Kate would be even less probable and same thing with Sun. It should be either someone male (and in that case he'd be soo after Jack IMHO) or an OC. But if you ever do it I'd love to read that, it really is an idea worth doing.

[lenina20.livejournal.com]

This is a great commentary on both Shannon and Boone/Shannon. I loved Shanon and I love that Boone loved her so much and so selflessly. She truly loved him - he was the only thing she had in the world after all, and she lost him. I think this fic conveys that perfectly. Great job! I really, truly enjoyed this!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

God I love your comments, you know? You totally got exactly what I was trying to do with this one. Those two are just tragic damnit *sigh* and while it's not a pairing that could have ever really worked they had quite an interesting dynamic going on, which of course got chunked but whatever. Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it! ♥

[toestastegood.livejournal.com]

You completely pinned down my feelings about the relationship between Shannon and Boone: she really did love him, even if it wasn't in the way he loved her. And, personally, I like to think that he did know that. I don't think Boone actually died thinking that she hated him - perhaps I just like to keep myself in denial like that!

I can totally see how she'd think that though, and it's totally heart-breaking. All those regrets, all those things she'd never get the chance to say to him, the mistakes she never got the chance to put right. I was always able to see a little bit of me and my older sister in Boone and Shannon (well, y'know, minus the incest) in the way they sniped and bitched at each other but still cared underneath it all. I can just imagine how awful it would have been for her for him to just go ahead and die like that.

Ah, Boone. God's friggin' gift to humanity.

And congratulations on finishing your 12_stories! They've definitely been fun to read. ♥

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

perhaps I just like to keep myself in denial like that!

Oh, I'm with you. I could meta for hours about how I don't believe that he thought she hated him eventually but yeah, we're both on that. *sigh*

But I think she totally thought that and while pushing on that kind of hurt I guess I couldn't have gone either way. I personally don't have siblings but I've sort of saw the same thing happen with some friends of mine and wouldn't that be painful? It totally would.

God's gift to humanity indeed! I think I need an icon. *nods*

Thank you so much both for the congrats and the lovely feedback, I'm really glad you liked this! ♥

[hollycomb.livejournal.com]

Perfect Shannon voice, and this is exactly how I envision her feelings for him, the whole relationship, etc. This was especially great:


The truth is that he wasn’t God’s friggin’ gift to humanity. He was life’s friggin’ gift to her

I haven't seen a Shannon episode in years, but I could hear her actress's voice when I read that!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's absolutely great to hear you liked Shannon there, especially because I have way more practice with Boone than with her. That line was probably my favorite of the whole thing so even better, right? Thanks so much again, glad you liked it! ♥

[emiliglia.livejournal.com]

Awwwww. Poor Shannon. I love and miss both of them so much. This was painful, but so good, sweetie.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

God, don't we all? I do too. Absolutely. And I so wish they'd have kept her, if he had to go. Clearly not. *sigh* *shakes head* Thanks you so much, I'm really glad you liked it ♥!

[mrslinus17.livejournal.com]

Janie, why are you still here? Go, be a writer for the show! Damn, this is so good, and sad, and obviously brilliant because I never really liked Shoone in any sense.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Want the truth? I don't like it either ;) I mean, I think they were totally wrong for each other in that sense but they have such a good dynamic to explore that I figured I could go with it a couple of times. Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it! And believe me, I'd go writing for them on the spot if I could ;) [which means that if I did season 6 would totally be the zombie season..] ♥ ♥

[waine.livejournal.com]

Awwwww, I kinda do miss Boone now. I guess he was annoying in the begining, but at the end, after he got the a=water for shannon I liked him. I also like how he talked smack to sayid, he was rhe only one who ever did. He was hot, and I did cry when he died, and so early, but he was soooooo creepy in Lockes dream thing, but kinda hot too. Btw, what did Thereasa falls up the stairs, Tereea falls down the stairs mean? I forget, its been so long since season 1. I also miss shannon, esp cause she made Sayid happy. I can totally relate to her feeling wrothless, but she was good with walt and the vinnocent. Poor Sayid. His love's brother dies while he takes her on a date, then his his love dies. He serchs for other love for eight years, after almost haing to torture her, and then she is killed. Then he is finally moveing on, and he has to kill his Next love before she kills him, and is stuck wroking for Ben. I bet Ben will ask him to kill Penny, and oh, the horrors of that. He will never do it, but it put his life at risk. I love the guy, but perhaps with all his misery, and I can't beleive I am saying this, he could die in desmonds arms, having found redempation. : ( I also think on the Des note, loved youe des.pen story. : ) Why, did Sayid not care about Desy almost charling? I thought for sure, he whould be concerned, or at least after, some holding, and comforting, but nafa. No goodbye etheir. : (
Des has Penny, but oh, Poor Sayid, Poor Jack, POor Kate, Poor JIn, Poor BOOne, Poor shannon, Poor locke, Poor Hurly. Desym your the only one with a happy ending, and lets hope it stays that way, but lets hope you are back next season.

[tellshannon815.livejournal.com]

*invades this thread*
The Theresa thing was a reference to an old nanny of Boone's. He used to keep sending her running up and down the stairs on random errands for him just for the sake of it, until one day she tripped and broke her neck. (Something Locke was unlikely to have known before that dream).
I would have liked to have seen the Shannon/Sayid dynamic explored more - if you think about it, Shannon had never really had a proper relationship before, everything she entered into was with the knowledge that it would always have a limited shelf life until Boone paid up. Sayid was her first chance at that. And something could have been done with the idea of Shannon knowing about Sayid's past with Nadia, and flashbacks to her time in france...okay, I'll shut up now as I could rant forever on this!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

The Shannon/Sayid and Boone altogether were totally a wasted opportunity IMHO. I mean, both her and Boone weren't absolutely characters which were done with. There was so much they could have done with them *sigh* now I really should write some Sayid/Shannon. I really should.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

I definitely SO hope Des at least gets the happy ending! Sayid does really not have luck with women, or at least they aren't much lucky after being with him, but that only straightens my idea that he should pursue males. Preferably of the Scottish kind ;) seriously, I hope it ends decently for both of them.

I also like how he talked smack to sayid, he was rhe only one who ever did.

And I never understood why no one slashed them after it but well, I'll agree with the rest of the post and reiterate what they answered down here (Theresa was an ex-nanny of Boone's who fell down the stairs when he was calling her at six if I don't remember wrong). And Shannon was good, indeed. *sigh*

[aboutbunnies.livejournal.com]

This is wonderfully done. Such a great exposition on Shannon and her relationship with Boone. I particularly loved the last two paragraphs. So much feeling, so much pain. Shannon grew up that night, and you captured it perfectly.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! It's not any day that I write Shannon so it's great to hear she was IC here, though maybe it's because I was totally understanding what was going on in her head ;) thanks again, I'm really glad you liked it! ♥

[elliotsmelliot.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on finishing your table!

The truth is that he wasn’t God’s friggin’ gift to humanity. He was life’s friggin’ gift to her and she realized it at least one month and a week too late; at least, she should have realized it before knocking on the door of his room in Sydney.

I loved this phrase because Boone and Shannon are all about realizations that are too late to make right. This was a great look at Shannon's raw grief and regrets. (And so brave of you to come back to this moment). Excellent work. This plus your Charlie story has been craving more Boone. I'm sure you will fulfil that sooner than later!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Those two are totally about late realizations, true. I really don't know why do I always go back there but it's probably because some part in my brain thinks that the more I go there the more it's likely that I'll stop suffering when I do. I'm really glad you liked this one, thanks! And about the more Boone... you could totally bet on the sooner ;)

[6degreesoflea.livejournal.com]

Nice, sad, fic. I don't believe Boone died thinking Shannon hated him (thanks, Locke) but I do believe she thought that he thought that way. The poor girl was so lost after he died and this fic spoke beautifully to that.

She figures it’s better late than never, even if it will never be enough. =( gorgeous.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I don't believe he thought she hated him either (oh, I've got a Locke one in program which will definitely make me happy while writing it...) but she would have believed it. That arc just tore me in pieces *sigh* Glad you liked it! ♥