janie_tangerine (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
janie_tangerine) wrote2008-12-29 11:31 pm
janie_tangerine) wrote2008-12-29 11:31 pm
fic, Lost: Deliver Me From Bypass Mode (Charlie/Desmond, Jack/Sawyer/Sayid, higher than PG13)
Title: Deliver Me From Bypass Mode
Rating: PG-13, but there's... uuuhm, a glimpse of cybersex?
Characters: Desmond, Charlie/Desmond, Jack/Sawyer/Sayid, everyone else probably
Words: 3322, but most of it is dialogue/chatting.
Summary: It's Desmond's turn to be sucked into the survivors' chatroom of doom. Ghosts show up and cybersex happens.
Spoilers: goes AU from One of Us.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Reading this, you'll realize why.
A/N: this is as the previous one for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toestastegood, who asked me for a sequel to Networking for her birthday *kicks herself*, and I am incredibly sorry of having delayed it until now but hey, take it as birthday, New Year's and Christmas present. ;) As cracked as the previous one, so don't search for any kind of seriousness here. Title stolen from the same Warren Zevon song I stole the title of the other fic.
If there s one thing that Desmond had come to hate, recently, it was that bloody computer of Charlie’s. Right, he was spending a whole month in Newcastle and Charlie nonetheless was in front of the screen just one hour each afternoon, during which Desmond went gladly to take a walk, but still, he hated even the sight of it.
Truth to be told, it wasn’t even the sight of it. It was the bare idea of it. Thinking about pushing buttons on a keyboard was enough to make him want to throw up and once or twice, watching Charlie’s fingers as they danced quickly over the letters, he had come close. Very close.
He figured that his view of things might have been pretty, well, subjective, but he was perfectly fine like he was and, truthfully, he has never minded an hour outside taking a walk, so he won’t start now. Before crashing on that island he would have never thought that taking a walk in the park breathing fresh air could be such a bloody beautiful thing to do. But after the bloody rock experience he did indeed fully appreciate it, even if he would have really rather taken his walk with Charlie than alone.
What really bothered him was the account, though. Even if he had never touched that laptop he knew everything about what Kate was doing in prison, about Jack, Sawyer and Sayid’s online sex life, about ghosts that couldn’t leave the Internet alone even after they died and thing is, Desmond would have rather known all of these things if Charlie had known them himself by calling on a sodding normal phone. Also, if you can’t leave the internet alone even when you’re dead, well, that’s bloody plain scary.
But it wasn’t like he could do a thing about it and so for two weeks he just left at five o’ clock and came back at six, heard whatever Charlie had to say about the day’s chatting and then shut him up in the most effective way. Or at least he tried.
--
Then it happened that one night they didn’t sleep at all, not really, and while Desmond couldn’t really complain about the reasons, once that he screwed his sleeping patterns his whole day was screwed and at one point after lunch he told Charlie that he was just going to lay down for half an hour. Charlie just smiled and told him to go ahead.
He woke up at 16.55, or so the alarm clock said, and there was a piece of paper folded under it.
He shook his head for a second, then took it and read it.
I had a call from that bloody producer I told you about, so I had to go. I’ll be away probably until this evening so don’t expect me.
He sighed, figuring that his program of finally trying to get Charlie to go out with him that afternoon was going to be for the next time, when he heard something beeping.
Oh, fuck.
He really didn’t need any kind of beeping. He figured that he’d find the source and shut off whatever it was.
Desmond wandered around for a bit before seeing that it came from the laptop, which lay menacingly and at the same time innocently closed on the table of the room where Charlie usually retired in order to practice the great art of song writing.
There was a red light switching off and on along with the beeping and Desmond figured that the bloody thing was in standby. Well, he just had to go there and shut it off. He wished he could just pull a plug, but it was going on battery and so no plug option. He sighed and wearily approached the chair in front of the small table, then pulled a lever that looked like could open up the bloody thing and let out a breath of relief as soon as it happened without incidents.
He cautiously pulled the screen up, trying to figure how to shut it off and trying not to give in to that dreadful claustrophobic sensation that was taking hold of him, when he saw that there was a window open and that messages were coming consequentially, one every two seconds or so.
God, the bloody chatroom, he realized when it’s too late and his presence had gone from not here to available. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Especially since there was someone addressing him.
theghostoftomjoad: there you are, midget. Took you long enough today, huh?
docgiggles: come on, he probably had something to do. People have a life, you know, unlike you.
theghostoftomjoad: and you too, doc…
nothingelsematters: hi Charlie! ^^
yodude: : hey, dude, finally. We were missing you :)
runbabyrun: yeah, at least they’ll stop talking only about cybersex… today they’re stuck on that
aljazeera: : leave me out of the equation, please. That is not my fault really.
carriethemuffinwoman: Charlie, you there?
adriannapennino: : give him some time!
johnrambo: : she’s right, I mean, the kid’s not a machine.
materialgirl: : hi Charlie! Oh, we decided to name her Ji Yeon in the end, you were asking last time...
Desmond took a breath. Right. He needed to figure this bloody mess out first.
Theghostoftomjoad could only be Sawyer. He hadn’t recognized the avatar still, but he was pretty sure that he was the only one of the bunch who would have chosen a literary nickname, and a pretty refined one to be fair. Docgiggles had to be Jack, especially because only Jack could keep Gregory House in his avatar. Right, Desmond watched it with Charlie usually and he also liked it a lot, but he would have never chosen him as his avatar. Like he wouldn’t ever get involved in a chatroom if he had the chance, but that was another story. Nothingelsematters… well, if Aaron was the avatar it had to be Claire. Yodude, well, Hurley he figured, as Kate had to be runbabyrun. Aljazeera was probably Sayid since the typing was at least proper, Rambo and Adrianna had to be Rose and Bernard, at least by looking at Adrianna’s avatar. If materialgirl was having a daughter whose name was Ji Yeon that had to be Sun. Carrie… well, he wouldn’t really have known about muffins but going on exclusion, that should have been Juliet.
He took another breath and bit his lip strongly enough to draw blood when his fingers hit the keys; he ignored also his need to throw up his lunch and typed.
hoodiesrock: : it’s not Charlie, he’s out with a producer. It’s Desmond.
And then, all hell broke loose.
theghostoftomjoad: whaat? Braveheart? But the midget is always complainin’ that you won’t ever get near the computer!
docgiggles: Sawyer, don’t be so harsh! Woah, well, guess another life hasn’t passed, right? Well, hi Desmond!
carriethemuffinwoman: hi :)
nothingelsematters: DESMOND, HI!! ^^ How much time! Do you still have visions? I hope not! Is everything okay? Charlie is so excited that you’re there! What are you doing these weeks? He never wants to tell me! ^^’
adriannapennino: : girl, give him a break. Guess he doesn’t want to talk about private stuff.
nothingelsematters: but that would be so EXCITING!!!! **
runbabyrun: Claire, we already have enough cybersex going on already if you ask for my opinion... and hi, Desmond!
aljazeera: : it is a pleasure hearing from you again.
materialgirl: : hi, Desmond.
yodude: : that’s great, dude. I mean, we were wondering what you were up to these days, y’know. Since Charlie doesn’t tell.
theghostoftomjoad: hey, you died?
Desmond broke momentarily out of his shock and very carefully, set himself on typing again. Damnit. He needed to log off and shut the thing down, but he really couldn’t be so... not polite, right?
hoodiesrock: : no, no... it’s just... well, I’m not that confident with this kind of thing and you know, I just... need some time to follow the conversation?
He was about to send the message, but then he had a look at a message that Claire had written it before. She had put two small arrows pointed up which he hadn’t took notice of at first, but they looked like more or less a smiling face and maybe that would have helped sounding not too harsh? He wasn’t that convinced but he added them to the message anyway after locating them on the keyboard and then pressed the arrow to send his text.
Then hell broke loose again.
nothingelsematters: oh, sure! Now, Sawyer, that was rude. You should have remembered! He’s probably suffering a bit right now! <3
carriethemuffinwoman: oh, yeah, sure. That’s so sad :(
runbabyrun: don’t mind Sawyer, he just can’t be polite.
johnrambo: : geez, Sawyer, give the poor guy a break.
theghostoftomjoad: hey!
docgiggles: cut it, Sawyer. That was rude.
aljazeera: : very, very rude indeed. Me and Jack apologize on his behalf.
Right, sure, ‘cause they all do cybersex, Desmond thought. Then shook his head and figured that he could use the excuse to finally go back to bed with something for the headache that he was getting.
hoodiesrock: : don’t worry brother, that’s fine ^^
theghostoftomjoad: rude, huh? Well, guess it was. Some. Gosh, I’m sorry. But you two won’t escape it.
yodude: : and here we are again...
materialgirl: : well, it would have been weird if it did not happen.
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, barely surprising.
johnrambo: : at least they’re having fun.
adriannapennino: : why, you didn’t have any last night?
johnrambo: : I DIDN’T MEAN THAT!
hoodiesrock: : but... what’s this about?
runbabyrun: those three are probably off having cybersex right now...
Then another window suddenly opened covering up Kate’s answer and Desmond realized with more than a shiver that someone had accidentally invited him to Jack, Sawyer and Sayid’s private chat.
Oh...
theghostoftomjoad: ............................................................................... FUCK
Well, that was taking the words right out of this mouth, but...
aljazeera: : did that work?
docgiggles: sure mmmh, i hear him moaning from the next room
aljazeera: : that is very, very good. Can you see him, too?
docgiggles: some, yeah
aljazeera: : good. Imagine that I am there and...
theghostoftomjoad; OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
At that point Desmond shut the window. He didn’t want to know what was that Sayid had told Sawyer before, but he wasn’t in any hurry to find out.
yodude: : Des, you still there?
hoodiesrock: well, I...
nothingelsematters: what?
hoodiesrock: : well, I guess Sawyer hit.. the wrong button and... uhm, invited... me?
nothingelsematters: WHAT? OMG!
carriethemuffinwoman: WHAT? OMG!
runbabyrun: WHAT? OMG!
yodude: : WHAT? OMG!
adriannapennino: these youngsters, always getting surprised...
johnrambo: I’d agree with you.
materialgirl: so, what were they saying?
hoodiesrock: what? Well, I don’t... I mean, I closed it, Sawyer was kinda gone, yeah? Sayid had told him somethin’ I guess?
nothingelsematters: pity, you could have stayed some more ;) ;)
carriethemuffinwoman: come on, Claire, one would be embarrassed!
Desmond sort of wanted to thank Juliet in that moment.
hoodiesrock: : yeah, and I don’t really do cybersex myself, y’know, I prefer... well, the real deal?
nothingelsematters: just about that... come on, tell us! **
hoodiesrock: : what?
yodude: anything, dude. Charlie never wants to talk about what you two do!
hoodiesrock: : guess it’s not my business, then, but...
runbabyrun: come on, we aren’t going to tell him ;)
Desmond was seriously considering shutting the thing there and then, but salvation came and Juliet brought it again. He was seriously reconsidering that woman.
carriethemuffinwoman: people, request for joining!
adriannapennino: : is that John again?
carriethemuffinwoman: nope, Boone.
yodude: : oh, Boone!
carriethemuffinwoman: I’m accepting.
Desmond tried to remember what Charlie had told. Wasn’t this guy someone who died and was seemingly too much of an internet addict? He thought he was, but since he had provided a change of subject Desmond wasn’t ever, ever complaining.
deathisnottheend: hi everyone, hi Desmond!
hoodiesrock: : what? Thanks but... uhm, have we met? And how do you...
runbabyrun: he’s dead. He knows… well, he just knows.
yodude: : first couple times it was strange but you adjust to it, don’t worry ;)
deathisnottheend: well, we haven’t met, but we know you.
hoodiesrock: : we...?
deathisnottheend: sure, up here I mean. I don’t think you know my sister, but she says that you look gorgeous both in blue and white. I have to say she isn’t that wrong...
Oh God, now that was becoming a tad too much, but thankfully Jack, Sawyer and Sayid re-entered the conversation just then.
docgiggles: god, Sayid, today you were out of... oh, HI BOONE! <3
deathisnottheend: HI JACK! <3
theghostoftomjoad: hi there Metro. Have a good time up there in Craphole Heaven?
deathisnottheend: could be worse. I hear you aren’t doing bad yourself.
theghostoftomjoad: well...
aljazeera: he’s doing really well.
deathisnottheend: oh, I think John isn’t coming online today or tomorrow.
yodude: dude, he had too much of that porn paste stuff?
deathisnottheend: yeah, let’s put it like that. He’s helpless *sigh*
Desmond remembered Charlie talking about this LSD paste thing once, but he figured it was better not to ask. God, this is seriously crazy indeed.
materialgirl: : he really is. What, did he overdose it?
deathisnottheend: Let’s say he did. He just… well, let’s say he’s pretty out. That man, he’s never cleaning up his own mess. :(
hoodiesrock: : wait, what’s this paste business?
deathisnottheend: oh, just the closest thing you’ll find to LSD on that piece of rock. Nothing I’d recommend though.
yodude: : dude, from what Charlie told me, guess you wouldn’t.
deathisnottheend: well, he didn’t even understand he doesn’t even need that. Well, his business. Anyway, Sawyer, Juliet, regarding the book club thing…
carriethemuffinwoman: oh, right! What do you all say?
theghostoftomjoad: geez, I hope you’ll agree that Carrie was terrible.
deathisnottheend: well, I liked it. Shannon said it was horrible. Ana left it at a half because no one was shooting and Eko said it gave a twisted portrait of religion but that it was well written. Libby gave it away to Paolo before she finished it but you know, he doesn’t want to do the book club thing so we don’t know really. Have you already decided for next week?
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, he chooses this round.
theghostoftomjoad: geez, it’s just fair, y’know? Of Mice And Men for me, anyway.
deathisnottheend: fine, I’ll let you know next week.
yodude: : people, you done with the literary talking? We aren’t doing the book club, you know.
runbabyrun: yeah, and they don’t have Carrie here anyway.
docgiggles: okay, fine, this round I’m doing it, too.
carriethemuffinwoman: should I feel offended? You do it just when he chooses!
adriannapennino: : well, he has cybersex with…
theghostoftomjoad: hey, not only that kind.
aljazeera: : I wish to be kept out of this conversation just in case.
hoodiesrock: : brother, that’s pretty wise I have to say.
yodude: : well, he’s like the smart one, right?
runbabyrun: yeah, he definitely is.
deathisnottheend: oh, hell, I need to go. Well, we established stuff, right? Bye everyone, we’re seeing each other tomorrow, we know the book, I’ll let you know. Oh, Desmond, the girls here say that you should wear blue more often. The blue party won over the white one or so it looks like.
hoodiesrock: : … excuse me?
deathisnottheend: well, they say it looks fine on you.
docgiggles: bye then <3
deathisnottheend: <3 <3 <3
theghostoftomjoad: geez, you are a sap. Both of you.
aljazeera: : Sawyer, you don’t want anyone to divulge your reaction after our cyber encounters of that certain kind, do you?
nothingelsematters: oh, we wanna know!! **
theghostoftomjoad: … dirty blackmailer >:( and mamacita, don’t push your luck there.
runbabyrun: oh God, I’m really happy I chose neither of you. Bye Boone, have a good day up there?
deathisnottheend: you bet! :)
The dead guy logged off and Desmond let out a breath of relief. It was becoming seriously weird. And now he hoped they all forgot the subject they were talking about to begin with. They seemingly did and he was even more glad that no one brought up the cybersex again, which was seriously a relief. God, how much longer was this thing going to last? He thought he’d have ended crying soon if he kept his eyes on that bright screen longer. What a mess, aye, a mess, but meanwhile it looked like things were proceeding.
yodude: wow, today is a busy day.
materialgirl: indeed. Not bad at all though.
Speak for yourself, Desmond thought, but he wasn’t really going to... voice... or write... or externalize his opinion. Yeah, externalized looked pretty much okay. Or maybe not really but he couldn't really spend too much time reflecting on semantics.
nothingelsematters: so, Des, are you finally gonna tell us?
hoodiesrock: ... what...?
theghostoftomjoad: braveheart, she wants to know what happens when you and the midget turn off the light in your room.
hoodiesrock: wait, I really think I... I shouldn’t... I mean...
“Hey, Des, I’m... oh, bollocks!”
Desmond suddenly felt his blood run cold. He hadn’t even heard Charlie coming back home for how much he had become invested into the conversation... but well, it was the good time to back off.
“Finally! That thing was beeping, I tried to shut that off and I ended up in that mess of a thing and Claire is asking me ‘bout... oh, let that go and take care of that fucking machine, won’t you?”
Charlie let out a giggle as he nodded, not really too convinced, and sat in front of the laptop, his fingers dancing gracefully over the keyboard. Desmond went to the living room and opened a window; he needed some fresh air, even if he felt less sick than he had figured he’d feel after leaving that thing alone.
Charlie was back a quarter of an hour later, still trying not to laugh and looking pretty much like an idiot.
“So, you had fun chatting, too?”
“Nay, I did not.”
“Well, world hasn’t ended and you look pretty fine yourself.”
“Fine?”
“Why, you haven’t still thrown yourself out of the window and you haven’t thrown up, so...”
“Oh, shut the bloody hell up. Is that over?”
“Sure. Hurley went to dinner with his mom, Kate was up for the movie of the week again, Juliet was going to bake muffins and I believe that Jack, Sawyer and Sayid decided to have another... well, guess you know. Oh, Sawyer also said that he’d like to try a virtual pentagon one of these...”
“He’d like what?”
“Hey, easy. Was a joke, won’t you just lighten up? And come on, admit it. It’s fun.”
“I beg to differ. I really beg to differ.”
“And why would you?”
Suddenly Desmond decided this had been going on too much and he couldn't even stand to think about cybersex, chatrooms and whatever. He just took a couple of steps, eyed the couch and brought Charlie down on it, not exactly too gently, seeking his lips soon after and making a point of kissing him thoroughly, his tongue tracing every inch of Charlie’s mouth, his teeth lightly biting on Charlie’s lower lip when he tried to breathe before leaning down and kissing him again. They were both pretty flushed when he parted, even if he didn’t move an inch from where he was. He also could feel that Charlie was getting increasingly hard and his smile was pretty devilish as he leaned down to whisper right into Charlie’s ear before going on to the real thing.
“Because this is way much better than whatever bloody cyber thing you could come up with.”
He got rid of Charlie’s t-shirt after, leaving a trail of kisses from the hollow of his neck to his chest as he went further down and Charlie shivered beneath him, small moans of pleasure leaving his lips and a hand firmly gripping Desmond’s hair.
He wasn't ever going to tell him that well, after all, it was fun to an extent. He had some pride to maintain, after all.
End.
Rating: PG-13, but there's... uuuhm, a glimpse of cybersex?
Characters: Desmond, Charlie/Desmond, Jack/Sawyer/Sayid, everyone else probably
Words: 3322, but most of it is dialogue/chatting.
Summary: It's Desmond's turn to be sucked into the survivors' chatroom of doom. Ghosts show up and cybersex happens.
Spoilers: goes AU from One of Us.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Reading this, you'll realize why.
A/N: this is as the previous one for
toestastegood, who asked me for a sequel to Networking for her birthday *kicks herself*, and I am incredibly sorry of having delayed it until now but hey, take it as birthday, New Year's and Christmas present. ;) As cracked as the previous one, so don't search for any kind of seriousness here. Title stolen from the same Warren Zevon song I stole the title of the other fic.If there s one thing that Desmond had come to hate, recently, it was that bloody computer of Charlie’s. Right, he was spending a whole month in Newcastle and Charlie nonetheless was in front of the screen just one hour each afternoon, during which Desmond went gladly to take a walk, but still, he hated even the sight of it.
Truth to be told, it wasn’t even the sight of it. It was the bare idea of it. Thinking about pushing buttons on a keyboard was enough to make him want to throw up and once or twice, watching Charlie’s fingers as they danced quickly over the letters, he had come close. Very close.
He figured that his view of things might have been pretty, well, subjective, but he was perfectly fine like he was and, truthfully, he has never minded an hour outside taking a walk, so he won’t start now. Before crashing on that island he would have never thought that taking a walk in the park breathing fresh air could be such a bloody beautiful thing to do. But after the bloody rock experience he did indeed fully appreciate it, even if he would have really rather taken his walk with Charlie than alone.
What really bothered him was the account, though. Even if he had never touched that laptop he knew everything about what Kate was doing in prison, about Jack, Sawyer and Sayid’s online sex life, about ghosts that couldn’t leave the Internet alone even after they died and thing is, Desmond would have rather known all of these things if Charlie had known them himself by calling on a sodding normal phone. Also, if you can’t leave the internet alone even when you’re dead, well, that’s bloody plain scary.
But it wasn’t like he could do a thing about it and so for two weeks he just left at five o’ clock and came back at six, heard whatever Charlie had to say about the day’s chatting and then shut him up in the most effective way. Or at least he tried.
--
Then it happened that one night they didn’t sleep at all, not really, and while Desmond couldn’t really complain about the reasons, once that he screwed his sleeping patterns his whole day was screwed and at one point after lunch he told Charlie that he was just going to lay down for half an hour. Charlie just smiled and told him to go ahead.
He woke up at 16.55, or so the alarm clock said, and there was a piece of paper folded under it.
He shook his head for a second, then took it and read it.
I had a call from that bloody producer I told you about, so I had to go. I’ll be away probably until this evening so don’t expect me.
He sighed, figuring that his program of finally trying to get Charlie to go out with him that afternoon was going to be for the next time, when he heard something beeping.
Oh, fuck.
He really didn’t need any kind of beeping. He figured that he’d find the source and shut off whatever it was.
Desmond wandered around for a bit before seeing that it came from the laptop, which lay menacingly and at the same time innocently closed on the table of the room where Charlie usually retired in order to practice the great art of song writing.
There was a red light switching off and on along with the beeping and Desmond figured that the bloody thing was in standby. Well, he just had to go there and shut it off. He wished he could just pull a plug, but it was going on battery and so no plug option. He sighed and wearily approached the chair in front of the small table, then pulled a lever that looked like could open up the bloody thing and let out a breath of relief as soon as it happened without incidents.
He cautiously pulled the screen up, trying to figure how to shut it off and trying not to give in to that dreadful claustrophobic sensation that was taking hold of him, when he saw that there was a window open and that messages were coming consequentially, one every two seconds or so.
God, the bloody chatroom, he realized when it’s too late and his presence had gone from not here to available. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Especially since there was someone addressing him.
theghostoftomjoad: there you are, midget. Took you long enough today, huh?
docgiggles: come on, he probably had something to do. People have a life, you know, unlike you.
theghostoftomjoad: and you too, doc…
nothingelsematters: hi Charlie! ^^
yodude: : hey, dude, finally. We were missing you :)
runbabyrun: yeah, at least they’ll stop talking only about cybersex… today they’re stuck on that
aljazeera: : leave me out of the equation, please. That is not my fault really.
carriethemuffinwoman: Charlie, you there?
adriannapennino: : give him some time!
johnrambo: : she’s right, I mean, the kid’s not a machine.
materialgirl: : hi Charlie! Oh, we decided to name her Ji Yeon in the end, you were asking last time...
Desmond took a breath. Right. He needed to figure this bloody mess out first.
Theghostoftomjoad could only be Sawyer. He hadn’t recognized the avatar still, but he was pretty sure that he was the only one of the bunch who would have chosen a literary nickname, and a pretty refined one to be fair. Docgiggles had to be Jack, especially because only Jack could keep Gregory House in his avatar. Right, Desmond watched it with Charlie usually and he also liked it a lot, but he would have never chosen him as his avatar. Like he wouldn’t ever get involved in a chatroom if he had the chance, but that was another story. Nothingelsematters… well, if Aaron was the avatar it had to be Claire. Yodude, well, Hurley he figured, as Kate had to be runbabyrun. Aljazeera was probably Sayid since the typing was at least proper, Rambo and Adrianna had to be Rose and Bernard, at least by looking at Adrianna’s avatar. If materialgirl was having a daughter whose name was Ji Yeon that had to be Sun. Carrie… well, he wouldn’t really have known about muffins but going on exclusion, that should have been Juliet.
He took another breath and bit his lip strongly enough to draw blood when his fingers hit the keys; he ignored also his need to throw up his lunch and typed.
hoodiesrock: : it’s not Charlie, he’s out with a producer. It’s Desmond.
And then, all hell broke loose.
theghostoftomjoad: whaat? Braveheart? But the midget is always complainin’ that you won’t ever get near the computer!
docgiggles: Sawyer, don’t be so harsh! Woah, well, guess another life hasn’t passed, right? Well, hi Desmond!
carriethemuffinwoman: hi :)
nothingelsematters: DESMOND, HI!! ^^ How much time! Do you still have visions? I hope not! Is everything okay? Charlie is so excited that you’re there! What are you doing these weeks? He never wants to tell me! ^^’
adriannapennino: : girl, give him a break. Guess he doesn’t want to talk about private stuff.
nothingelsematters: but that would be so EXCITING!!!! **
runbabyrun: Claire, we already have enough cybersex going on already if you ask for my opinion... and hi, Desmond!
aljazeera: : it is a pleasure hearing from you again.
materialgirl: : hi, Desmond.
yodude: : that’s great, dude. I mean, we were wondering what you were up to these days, y’know. Since Charlie doesn’t tell.
theghostoftomjoad: hey, you died?
Desmond broke momentarily out of his shock and very carefully, set himself on typing again. Damnit. He needed to log off and shut the thing down, but he really couldn’t be so... not polite, right?
hoodiesrock: : no, no... it’s just... well, I’m not that confident with this kind of thing and you know, I just... need some time to follow the conversation?
He was about to send the message, but then he had a look at a message that Claire had written it before. She had put two small arrows pointed up which he hadn’t took notice of at first, but they looked like more or less a smiling face and maybe that would have helped sounding not too harsh? He wasn’t that convinced but he added them to the message anyway after locating them on the keyboard and then pressed the arrow to send his text.
Then hell broke loose again.
nothingelsematters: oh, sure! Now, Sawyer, that was rude. You should have remembered! He’s probably suffering a bit right now! <3
carriethemuffinwoman: oh, yeah, sure. That’s so sad :(
runbabyrun: don’t mind Sawyer, he just can’t be polite.
johnrambo: : geez, Sawyer, give the poor guy a break.
theghostoftomjoad: hey!
docgiggles: cut it, Sawyer. That was rude.
aljazeera: : very, very rude indeed. Me and Jack apologize on his behalf.
Right, sure, ‘cause they all do cybersex, Desmond thought. Then shook his head and figured that he could use the excuse to finally go back to bed with something for the headache that he was getting.
hoodiesrock: : don’t worry brother, that’s fine ^^
theghostoftomjoad: rude, huh? Well, guess it was. Some. Gosh, I’m sorry. But you two won’t escape it.
yodude: : and here we are again...
materialgirl: : well, it would have been weird if it did not happen.
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, barely surprising.
johnrambo: : at least they’re having fun.
adriannapennino: : why, you didn’t have any last night?
johnrambo: : I DIDN’T MEAN THAT!
hoodiesrock: : but... what’s this about?
runbabyrun: those three are probably off having cybersex right now...
Then another window suddenly opened covering up Kate’s answer and Desmond realized with more than a shiver that someone had accidentally invited him to Jack, Sawyer and Sayid’s private chat.
Oh...
theghostoftomjoad: ............................................................................... FUCK
Well, that was taking the words right out of this mouth, but...
aljazeera: : did that work?
docgiggles: sure mmmh, i hear him moaning from the next room
aljazeera: : that is very, very good. Can you see him, too?
docgiggles: some, yeah
aljazeera: : good. Imagine that I am there and...
theghostoftomjoad; OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
At that point Desmond shut the window. He didn’t want to know what was that Sayid had told Sawyer before, but he wasn’t in any hurry to find out.
yodude: : Des, you still there?
hoodiesrock: well, I...
nothingelsematters: what?
hoodiesrock: : well, I guess Sawyer hit.. the wrong button and... uhm, invited... me?
nothingelsematters: WHAT? OMG!
carriethemuffinwoman: WHAT? OMG!
runbabyrun: WHAT? OMG!
yodude: : WHAT? OMG!
adriannapennino: these youngsters, always getting surprised...
johnrambo: I’d agree with you.
materialgirl: so, what were they saying?
hoodiesrock: what? Well, I don’t... I mean, I closed it, Sawyer was kinda gone, yeah? Sayid had told him somethin’ I guess?
nothingelsematters: pity, you could have stayed some more ;) ;)
carriethemuffinwoman: come on, Claire, one would be embarrassed!
Desmond sort of wanted to thank Juliet in that moment.
hoodiesrock: : yeah, and I don’t really do cybersex myself, y’know, I prefer... well, the real deal?
nothingelsematters: just about that... come on, tell us! **
hoodiesrock: : what?
yodude: anything, dude. Charlie never wants to talk about what you two do!
hoodiesrock: : guess it’s not my business, then, but...
runbabyrun: come on, we aren’t going to tell him ;)
Desmond was seriously considering shutting the thing there and then, but salvation came and Juliet brought it again. He was seriously reconsidering that woman.
carriethemuffinwoman: people, request for joining!
adriannapennino: : is that John again?
carriethemuffinwoman: nope, Boone.
yodude: : oh, Boone!
carriethemuffinwoman: I’m accepting.
Desmond tried to remember what Charlie had told. Wasn’t this guy someone who died and was seemingly too much of an internet addict? He thought he was, but since he had provided a change of subject Desmond wasn’t ever, ever complaining.
deathisnottheend: hi everyone, hi Desmond!
hoodiesrock: : what? Thanks but... uhm, have we met? And how do you...
runbabyrun: he’s dead. He knows… well, he just knows.
yodude: : first couple times it was strange but you adjust to it, don’t worry ;)
deathisnottheend: well, we haven’t met, but we know you.
hoodiesrock: : we...?
deathisnottheend: sure, up here I mean. I don’t think you know my sister, but she says that you look gorgeous both in blue and white. I have to say she isn’t that wrong...
Oh God, now that was becoming a tad too much, but thankfully Jack, Sawyer and Sayid re-entered the conversation just then.
docgiggles: god, Sayid, today you were out of... oh, HI BOONE! <3
deathisnottheend: HI JACK! <3
theghostoftomjoad: hi there Metro. Have a good time up there in Craphole Heaven?
deathisnottheend: could be worse. I hear you aren’t doing bad yourself.
theghostoftomjoad: well...
aljazeera: he’s doing really well.
deathisnottheend: oh, I think John isn’t coming online today or tomorrow.
yodude: dude, he had too much of that porn paste stuff?
deathisnottheend: yeah, let’s put it like that. He’s helpless *sigh*
Desmond remembered Charlie talking about this LSD paste thing once, but he figured it was better not to ask. God, this is seriously crazy indeed.
materialgirl: : he really is. What, did he overdose it?
deathisnottheend: Let’s say he did. He just… well, let’s say he’s pretty out. That man, he’s never cleaning up his own mess. :(
hoodiesrock: : wait, what’s this paste business?
deathisnottheend: oh, just the closest thing you’ll find to LSD on that piece of rock. Nothing I’d recommend though.
yodude: : dude, from what Charlie told me, guess you wouldn’t.
deathisnottheend: well, he didn’t even understand he doesn’t even need that. Well, his business. Anyway, Sawyer, Juliet, regarding the book club thing…
carriethemuffinwoman: oh, right! What do you all say?
theghostoftomjoad: geez, I hope you’ll agree that Carrie was terrible.
deathisnottheend: well, I liked it. Shannon said it was horrible. Ana left it at a half because no one was shooting and Eko said it gave a twisted portrait of religion but that it was well written. Libby gave it away to Paolo before she finished it but you know, he doesn’t want to do the book club thing so we don’t know really. Have you already decided for next week?
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, he chooses this round.
theghostoftomjoad: geez, it’s just fair, y’know? Of Mice And Men for me, anyway.
deathisnottheend: fine, I’ll let you know next week.
yodude: : people, you done with the literary talking? We aren’t doing the book club, you know.
runbabyrun: yeah, and they don’t have Carrie here anyway.
docgiggles: okay, fine, this round I’m doing it, too.
carriethemuffinwoman: should I feel offended? You do it just when he chooses!
adriannapennino: : well, he has cybersex with…
theghostoftomjoad: hey, not only that kind.
aljazeera: : I wish to be kept out of this conversation just in case.
hoodiesrock: : brother, that’s pretty wise I have to say.
yodude: : well, he’s like the smart one, right?
runbabyrun: yeah, he definitely is.
deathisnottheend: oh, hell, I need to go. Well, we established stuff, right? Bye everyone, we’re seeing each other tomorrow, we know the book, I’ll let you know. Oh, Desmond, the girls here say that you should wear blue more often. The blue party won over the white one or so it looks like.
hoodiesrock: : … excuse me?
deathisnottheend: well, they say it looks fine on you.
docgiggles: bye then <3
deathisnottheend: <3 <3 <3
theghostoftomjoad: geez, you are a sap. Both of you.
aljazeera: : Sawyer, you don’t want anyone to divulge your reaction after our cyber encounters of that certain kind, do you?
nothingelsematters: oh, we wanna know!! **
theghostoftomjoad: … dirty blackmailer >:( and mamacita, don’t push your luck there.
runbabyrun: oh God, I’m really happy I chose neither of you. Bye Boone, have a good day up there?
deathisnottheend: you bet! :)
The dead guy logged off and Desmond let out a breath of relief. It was becoming seriously weird. And now he hoped they all forgot the subject they were talking about to begin with. They seemingly did and he was even more glad that no one brought up the cybersex again, which was seriously a relief. God, how much longer was this thing going to last? He thought he’d have ended crying soon if he kept his eyes on that bright screen longer. What a mess, aye, a mess, but meanwhile it looked like things were proceeding.
yodude: wow, today is a busy day.
materialgirl: indeed. Not bad at all though.
Speak for yourself, Desmond thought, but he wasn’t really going to... voice... or write... or externalize his opinion. Yeah, externalized looked pretty much okay. Or maybe not really but he couldn't really spend too much time reflecting on semantics.
nothingelsematters: so, Des, are you finally gonna tell us?
hoodiesrock: ... what...?
theghostoftomjoad: braveheart, she wants to know what happens when you and the midget turn off the light in your room.
hoodiesrock: wait, I really think I... I shouldn’t... I mean...
“Hey, Des, I’m... oh, bollocks!”
Desmond suddenly felt his blood run cold. He hadn’t even heard Charlie coming back home for how much he had become invested into the conversation... but well, it was the good time to back off.
“Finally! That thing was beeping, I tried to shut that off and I ended up in that mess of a thing and Claire is asking me ‘bout... oh, let that go and take care of that fucking machine, won’t you?”
Charlie let out a giggle as he nodded, not really too convinced, and sat in front of the laptop, his fingers dancing gracefully over the keyboard. Desmond went to the living room and opened a window; he needed some fresh air, even if he felt less sick than he had figured he’d feel after leaving that thing alone.
Charlie was back a quarter of an hour later, still trying not to laugh and looking pretty much like an idiot.
“So, you had fun chatting, too?”
“Nay, I did not.”
“Well, world hasn’t ended and you look pretty fine yourself.”
“Fine?”
“Why, you haven’t still thrown yourself out of the window and you haven’t thrown up, so...”
“Oh, shut the bloody hell up. Is that over?”
“Sure. Hurley went to dinner with his mom, Kate was up for the movie of the week again, Juliet was going to bake muffins and I believe that Jack, Sawyer and Sayid decided to have another... well, guess you know. Oh, Sawyer also said that he’d like to try a virtual pentagon one of these...”
“He’d like what?”
“Hey, easy. Was a joke, won’t you just lighten up? And come on, admit it. It’s fun.”
“I beg to differ. I really beg to differ.”
“And why would you?”
Suddenly Desmond decided this had been going on too much and he couldn't even stand to think about cybersex, chatrooms and whatever. He just took a couple of steps, eyed the couch and brought Charlie down on it, not exactly too gently, seeking his lips soon after and making a point of kissing him thoroughly, his tongue tracing every inch of Charlie’s mouth, his teeth lightly biting on Charlie’s lower lip when he tried to breathe before leaning down and kissing him again. They were both pretty flushed when he parted, even if he didn’t move an inch from where he was. He also could feel that Charlie was getting increasingly hard and his smile was pretty devilish as he leaned down to whisper right into Charlie’s ear before going on to the real thing.
“Because this is way much better than whatever bloody cyber thing you could come up with.”
He got rid of Charlie’s t-shirt after, leaving a trail of kisses from the hollow of his neck to his chest as he went further down and Charlie shivered beneath him, small moans of pleasure leaving his lips and a hand firmly gripping Desmond’s hair.
He wasn't ever going to tell him that well, after all, it was fun to an extent. He had some pride to maintain, after all.
End.