janie_tangerine: (asoiaf > jaime/brienne)
janie_tangerine ([personal profile] janie_tangerine) wrote2017-03-11 11:50 pm

cowt settimana 6 (protesta): the lady doth protest too much (jaime/brienne)

“What have you just said?”

She can't have heard him right. She can't. He was joking, most probably. He must have. He must.

“I’m merely talking sense!”

All right. No. He wasn't joking then. Seven hells, really?

“Sense? You’re talking nonsense, Jaime! Whatever - whatever happened beyond the Wall, it didn’t kill all the White Walkers, or have you forgotten the five we had to kill two hours ago?” Brienne sure as the seven hells has not

“I didn’t, but the White Walkers will have to go, eventually. Us, though… wench, I’m making fairly valid points here. We aren’t going anywhere.” How can he sound so smug about it, Brienne has no bloody idea. Good gods. He must have gone insane. There's no other explanation.

“No one needs children right now! Least of all us, gods be good.” Children. What is even going through his head?

Jaime smirks in a way that makes Brienne want to punch him in the face, not that it’s anything new, but then he moves closer, his left hand going on her hip and – is he straddling her or what? “Most of Westeros is dead. Hopefully the rest won’t follow, but you can never know. It’s winter and it’s harsh normally, this one is just going to be even worse. And I think any knight with a lick of sense should have the sense of duty to do what’s best for his homeland. Or her best.”

“Which – according to you – is putting children into the world when the world is full of monsters that could kill them and when I am one of the few people with a sword that can kill them in one blow? Never mind that you just said it, this winter will be worse. It’d be a waste of damned resources and you know it.”

“That is true, but it’s also true that we’re in a huge castle right now, that we’re fairly well-defended and our precious mythical hero reborn agreed on just taking it easy until spring comes, since no one can travel yet. And probably no one will travel for a long time. And it means means it’s exactly the right time to put those children into the world. No sooner and no later.”

Thing is – Brienne’s fairly good at reading Jaime these days, but right now he’s being… she doesn’t know how to put it. She can’t understand if he’s being serious or not. If they had never shared a bed… no, he’s not the kind of man who’d resort to tell her this for the sake of a fuck. And for that matter, they do that plenty already and regularly, it just makes no sense. Which would mean he’s serious, but –

She looks up at him. He’s not smirking anymore. Oh. Oh.

Gods, he’s…

“You mean it.”

Jaime shrugs. “Wench, I never had much of a chance with the three I already had. Fine, Westeros needs people when spring comes, but maybe I mean it for other reasons.”

He’s still straddling her. He’s still looking at her like he means it and like he really thinks having children in a world full of monsters is worth it if he has them with her, which is a notion that makes her head spin in more than one way. But then again she remembers how pained he looked when he received news of the deaths of the son and daughter he had left, about how his eyes had clouded, about how he muttered that after all a wasted chance was a wasted chance. The way he’s looking at her now, there’s no way he’s faking it.

Good gods. He actually wants children. For real, most probably, and not children he’s not even allowed to be friendly with, never mind children he’s not allowed to parent.

Brienne thinks of all the times her septa told her any man who’d have her would probably look the other way and hope to put a child in her so that he could avoid doing it ever again. Jaime is not looking at her like that.

He’s looking at her like he wants her to be the mother of his children or like he wants to father hers, not like he just wants a heir. Never mind that he’s never not looked at her when they shared a bed. Never mind that she’d never even dared imagine an outcome where she actually got to have any with someone she didn’t hate or at least merely tolerated.

She moves her hands on his hips as she smiles, unable to keep it in. “Then we can discuss that. For real,” she says, slowly. It still looks like a fucking horrible idea if she thinks about it rationally, but some part of her is saying maybe he’s right. Maybe she’s never not wanted to. Maybe regardless of everything, she does want children with him. Maybe they’d have her eyes and his hair. She hopes they would – she wouldn’t want to saddle anyone with her face. They’d be tall. They’d grow up learning to use a sword, but they’d learn to use it honorably. Maybe Jaime is right indeed, and… “Not just now, though.”

“I can wait,” he replies, but he’s smiling for real, his teeth showing in between his kiss-swollen lips as he leans down and he kisses her, and again, his hand moving down towards the inside of her thigh, and… all right. She will consider it.

She will.

And she knows that considering how much she’s usually able to resist his proposals, terrible or not as they are, it won’t be long before she caves in and stops taking her moon tea. Never mind that those supplies are also winding down and she can’t use too much of that.

But then again, now that she thinks about it for real, she knows she won’t be too heartbroken about it when her own share is over.

Maybe –

Maybe then she’s going to stop considering for real.