cowt9: if you got a girl that loves you and wants to wear your ring (jaime/brienne, tyrion, pg13)

[janie_tangerine]

 “You know that there’s no way in Hell Father is going to let you live until you get a divorce, do you?”

 

Now: Tyrion might be right in this assessment.

 

But Jaime had taken it into account. He has been taking it into account since the moment he realized he was actually into Brienne, and actually since they actually became friends. It’s not as if his sister hasn’t tried to sabotage any relationship he might have had with any other woman until he quit the family company, lost his own share of the family money and rented a studio apartment on his own, and man, hadn’t he gained when it came to his mental well-being.

 

“I know,” he says, perfectly aware that no one bar his brother and maybe his aunt approves of his choice in partners and surely they won’t appreciate it when he sends them announcements for the wedding. “But I think I sacrificed enough of my happiness for him, Cersei and whatnot already.”

 

“No one was denying that,” Tyrion says with the tone of someone who knows Jaime is not telling him something crucial. “I mean, not that I don’t feel you on that specific part, but that doesn’t change the crux of the problem.”

 

“Such as?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know, that you’re about to marry the one person in your life that Cersei would like to see drop dead, and that makes Father look good in comparison because at least he just pretends she doesn’t exist. Which means that he’s never going to agree with someone whose father was a, uh, union leader, marrying into the illustrious family and whatnot.”

 

Jaime snorts — he had taken that into account, thank you very much.

 

“I know that, too,” he says.

 

“And you’re smiling like there’s no tomorrow, which means that either you have some kind of B plan to convince them or they’ll make your life a living hell until you divorce and you know it.”

 

Tyrion would, given that it’s exactly what they did with his girlfriend back in the day, and doesn’t he sound bitter when he says it. Jaime hasn’t told him that she also was invited to the wedding and that he has planned to talk to her about what really went down a few years ago first.

 

All in due time.

 

“Don’t worry,” he says, “I’ve always had a plan. And it was the A plan, not the B one.”

 

“Oh, really. And I suppose you’re not going to tell me, will you?”

 

“I don’t know if I want to spoil the surprise.” He crosses out a few people from the list. They agreed on keeping it to a minimum and he doesn’t think he really needs to invite his former high school swim team mates just because they knew each other and his father knew all their fathers. “But believe me, after the A plan is put into motion, I have a feeling Father won’t even want to talk to me in the first place.”

 

“Now I’m really curious, especially because it means that I could follow your example.”

 

Maybe you will, Jaime thinks and doesn’t say.

 

“Could be,” he agrees. “Anyway, I think it’s a foulproof plan.”

 

“And does Brienne know? Because it seems to me like you tend to spring plans on her rather than ask first.”

 

“I do,” he says, not even trying to deny it, “but for this one I actually do need her to know and she agrees.”

 

“Fine,” Tyrion shrugs, “I suppose that if you’re so sure. It’s just, I do like her and she’s been good for you, and I’d really appreciate it if she didn’t, like, join the family madness and realized how exactly tabloids lie when Father pays them to push it as if we walked out of an advertisement from the fifties.”

 

Jaime shudders at the thought, thinking of all the times that actually happened and at how much he hated those pictures and the way they made them look like they were indeed a small, happy unit.

 

As if.

 

He’s fairly sure they’re the proof that money doesn’t necessarily mean functional family, period.

 

“Do you think I want her to? The farthest from out little happy family she is bar you, me, Aunt Genna and Addam the better. But really, I’ve got the perfect solution to this mess and to the fact that Father will never want her on his will.”

 

“If you say so,” Tyrion says, not looking too convinced, but — Jaime thinks he really would rather not spoil the surprise.

 

He grins as he moves down the list and notices that Brienne has actually invited those assholes from her former high school hockey team out of spite as she said she would.

 

Maybe he is rubbing off on her, a bit. He can’t feel too sorry about it, actually.

 

He’s not going to tell her to not invite them. Maybe he kind of wants to see their reactions to his A plan, even if he’s looking forward to his father’s and Cersei’s most.

 

Especially given all the shit Cersei used to blather when they were younger, about how only a Lannister can love a Lannister, so why would they need anyone else or concern themselves with anyone else?

 

Too bad for him he listened for a very, very long time —

 

But not anymore.

 

He grins to himself. Oh, he really, really can’t wait.

 

— —

 

So: when Jaime’s wedding day rolls, Tyrion is indeed excited to see what he has cooked up. He’s moderately sure that since Brienne approved of it it’s not going to result in anything too disastrous, but still, given how gloomy both his father and sister look as they approach the city hall he just really hopes his brother hasn’t miscalculated things.

 

He takes a look at the crowd gathered outside the registrar’s room. He can see that neither his father nor Cersei really approve that this marriage is happening here and not in some fancy place, even if it’s kind of a given since they both work here, and for that matter they really are underdressed for Lannister standards. His father only wore a regular black suit that looks more suited for a funeral than a wedding. Cersei — well, she still is wearing a dark green velvet dress and her hair is perfectly styled and braided and her make-up is top notch, but for such an occasion she’d be also wearing jewels and probably would have gone for silk rather than velvet, and Tyrion is only sure she put some effort into her outfit because she knows Brienne wouldn’t look as attractive as her regardless. Aunt Genna and Addam are the only family members attending that actually look glad to be here — Aunt Genna’s husband and her kids don’t really look like they want to be here. Brienne’s father is nowhere to be seen, but obviously he’s going to give her out, so Tyrion supposes he wouldn’t be here regardless. Jaime has also invited Arthur Dayne, obviously, and a few others from high school, but no one from the swim team. Tyrion only brought Bronn with figuring that he will need support and someone to hand him the proper amount of alcohol to survive the lunch, which should be at one of the offices of the trade union Brienne’s father worked for. On Brienne’s side, there’s all of Catelyn Stark’s family of course, but then again she is officiating. And they wouldn’t have met at all if she hadn’t put them to work together on the birth records department when she got promoted as head of the office and Jaime got hired when their father cut him off and he was applying for any job he could, so of course they’re there. then there’s also Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon standing next to him, since he’s her witness and Tyrion is supposed to be Jaime’s.

 

(Cersei was not happy to hear it. Tyrion honestly doesn’t know if he should have laughed at presuming she would be the witness in this marriage.)

 

There are also a few of Brienne’s old hockey teammates, and then no one else, but they did say it would be a small thing. Now he just wants Jaime to show up already, damn —

 

“It’s been a long time, isn’t it?”

 

Tyrion goes entirely still the moment he hears Tysha’s voice from his left side. He turns, looking up at her, and — wait, what is she doing here? 

 

He has no idea, but she looks as lovely as she had in their last year of high school, with her dark hair and pale skin and large eyes, and the light blue dress really suits her, and — she doesn’t look angry at him, which is already a good thing in his eyes.

 

“It has,” he says, “but — I mean, I didn’t know — did Jaime invite you?”

 

“He might have,” she says, “after explaining me what went on behind the scenes when we were together.”

 

“Fuck.” Damn. He wasn’t ready for this. Could Jaime have just fucking told him? “Listen, uh, I never really got the chance —”

 

“Save it, your brother will be here in a few and he said that if I came I’d have full proof of why those things happened behind the scenes. Maybe we can catch up at lunch.”

 

“Uh, I’d like that,” he blurts, not sure he’s not dreaming.

 

“Good,” she smiles, and goes back to… talking to Sansa Stark?

 

All right, Tyrion figures. He’s definitely going to ask Jaime what the heck he was thinking when he has a moment —

 

And then Jaime shows up, finally, and — well. He certainly did put some effort here, differently from Cersei and their father — he’s wearing a tailored teal suit with a light green shirt that brings out his hair and eyes (even if he doesn’t have a tie, fine, he’s always hated them), with his hair not styled but definitely carefully put together — he trimmed it so that it’s slightly below his neck, he definitely trimmed the beard properly, too, and he looks… Tyrion doesn’t know if he’s ever seen him looking happier in his entire life. Probably he hasn’t.

 

“Just in time,” he says, glancing at his wristwatch. “Sorry, we were having the final meeting with Catelyn. Oh, I see everyone is here already?”

 

“Jaime,” his father hisses as they go near the door, they should be let in at any moment. “You’re still in time.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Put an end to this ridiculousness. You can’t marry her out of everyone,” he keeps on.

 

“Oh, I can and I will,” Jaime shrugs. “I mean, I honestly didn’t think she’d ever want to, but since she proposed, I’d be a right idiot if I said no, right?”

 

“Come on,” Cersei backs their father up, “you don’t really think she would fit in with us?”

 

“I never presumed it,” Jaime keeps on, still with that unnerving smile on his face. “But I don’t think it’s going to be your problem.”

 

“What —” Cersei asks, but she never finishes the sentence because the door opens a moment later and Catelyn Stark shows up on the door, opening it, and says that it’s their turn.

 

“Splendid,” Jaime says. “Tyrion, Renly, shall we?”

 

They both follow him inside, moving to the respective positions. Catelyn Stark looks like she’s barely stopping herself from bursting out in laughter and Tyrion would really like to know what the hell is going on here.

 

“Jaime,” he whispers, “can you just tell me already?”

 

“Just wait a bit more,” Jaime winks at him, and a moment later Catelyn Stark clears her throat and says that as everyone is obviously seated, they can start. Now Tyrion notices that they did sort of decorate the room — there’s blue ribbons here and there, and all the flowers he can see are blue, too. None are roses. He knows Brienne hates them for some reason, but he never asked — well, he supposes it makes sense, then.

 

Then he hears noise from outside the room and a moment later Brienne walks in on her father’s arm, and Tyrion will never conceive that the man is taller than she even is. He also looks extremely emotional in his smart blue suit that obviously wasn’t worn much and definitely doesn’t look cut for a funeral, but not as much as his daughter.

 

Tyrion had honestly no idea of how Brienne would have showed up — knowing her, he had figured she’d go for something practical and definitely trousers over a skirt. But apparently she decided to go all-out on it, and — well. He’s known her for years and never seen her looking good in feminine attire, but she obviously went and got the dress she’s wearing tailor-made because the blue satin of a shade really, really close to her eyes’s falls around her hips and chest perfectly. The waist is moved up mid-chest, so it gives an illusion of her having a larger cleavage and at the same time it doesn’t show off her shoulders, which are covered by a taffeta shawl a few shades lighter than the main body of the garment. She hasn’t braided her hair or anything but she has gotten some kind of perm to make them more wavy, and she did put on a hint of mascara.

 

All in all, she looks pretty damn good, and he dares risking a glance at Cersei. She looks livid as she moves next to Jaime and they look at each other like no one else is in the damned room — the way they smile as they see each other is honestly heartwarming, never mind that you can see in both of their eyes that they really, really want this marriage to happen and soon. Fuck, Tyrion really hopes his father doesn’t ruin it for them.

 

A moment later, Catelyn Stark clears her throat.

 

“If our newlyweds to be can stop mooning at each other, maybe we can actually marry them, how about it?”

 

Everyone laughs — bar Cersei and Tywin, of course — and those two have the grace to look slightly embarrassed as they turn to look at her.

 

She looks still beyond amused.

 

What the fuck is going on here, that’s what Tyrion would like to know.

 

“Good morning and a warm welcome to you all,” she says. “My name is Catelyn Stark, I am the Superintendent Registrar and here behind me me is Grenn Aurochs, the Registrar. The place in which you are now met has been duly sanctioned, according to law, for the celebration of marriage.” She grins to herself all over again. Tyrion wants to know what the fuck it is that she knows that they don’t so much he could burst with it.

 

“So, we are here today to witness the marriage of Jaime Lannister and Brienne Tarth, and on their behalf I would like to thank you for joining them to witness the start of their new life together. I know it means a great deal to them that you can be here to share in their happiness on this occasion.” Sansa Stark is openly crying in happiness in the first row, those two look like they’re about to do the same, Aunt Genna’s family looks thoroughly uninterested, Brienne’s former hockey mates keep on looking uncomfortable and Cersei looks like she’s just swallowed a lemon.

 

Tyrion looks up at Catelyn Stark again.

 

“However, if any person here present knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage then he or she should declare it now.”

 

Tyrion can see that his father and Cersei would like that, but they can’t go and complain about how Brienne is unattractive or not rich enough or not worthy to be part of their illustrious family unit. Honestly, Tyrion thinks she really must love Jaime to the ends of the Earth and beyond if she’s ready to actually be part of it (or try to) when those are the relatives she’d be gaining. Fuck, Jaime definitely was the one earning in the exchange since Brienne’s father is an entirely better person than Tyrion’s own. Or his sister, for that matter.

 

Still, those aren’t reasons to actually protest a marriage, and so they both keep their mouth shut. Good, but Tyrion still doesn’t see what Jaime’s plan here is.

 

“Through their vows,” Catelyn Stark starts again, “they are making a commitment to each other for the rest of their lives. Marriage is not an easy path. It requires devotion, the ability to listen, the wisdom to know when we are wrong, and the strength to put things right. That said, having personally known the both of them for years, I have a feeling they have that down.” Everyone but Cersei and Tywin laughs at that, even Aunt Genna’s kids. Bronn looks like he’s going to explode laughing, Tyrion notices, but then again he’s right in front of Cersei so he figures he has his reasons. 

 

“For Jaime and Brienne, getting married today is a proud confirmation of the love, the respect and the true friendship that they have for each other, and of how much money the entire office put in betting pools on when they were going to confess to each other,” she goes on. Oh. They had betting pools. That doesn’t surprise Tyrion whatsoever. “Together, they will be stronger to meet whatever life holds for them. Brienne, Jaime, today you will exchange vows which will unite you as wife and wife/husband. The words are a formal and public pledge of your love, and a promise of lifelong dedication to each other. Before you are joined in matrimony it is my duty to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage in this country means the union of two people, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others. I am now going to ask each of you to declare that you know of no lawful reason why you may not be joined in matrimony to each other.” She sounds like she’s really about to burst out laughing every time her eyes meet Jaime’s side of the room.

 

Hopefully they’ll find out soon what the hell those two have cooked up.

 

“Jaime, you go first,” she says.

 

He clears his throat, his hands grabbing Brienne’s. “I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Jaime Lannister, may not be joined in matrimony to Brienne Tarth.”

 

“Excellent. Brienne?”

 

“I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Brienne Tarth, may not be joined in matrimony to Jaime Lannister.” She grins. “Actually, all the contrary.”

 

“Is this the time we tell them?” Jaime says, and Brienne winks at him, and what the hell.

 

“Should I?” Catelyn Stark says. They both nod. The three of them are looking like they will burst out giggling like three schoolgirls. What the —

 

“Very well. Of course, I’ve known for a while since the documents have to be registered a month before the wedding, at least, and I’ve supervised the entire practice.”

 

What does she know?

 

“And I suppose this is when I tell you that while, knowing Brienne, I had assumed she’d keep her maiden name and that they’d both go on with theirs, they had… different wishes.”

 

Oh fuck. She took the Lannister name already? They’re going to murder her, Tyrion thinks, alarmed. He looks at his father and Cersei, who must have come to the same conclusions —

 

“As in, that he wished to take her name,” she finally says, and —

 

What.

 

The entire room fall silent.

 

Tyrion notices the blood draining away from everyone on his side of the room bar Aunt Genna and Addam, but —

 

Oh.

 

Of course that was Jaime’s fucking A plan.

 

Of course if he takes her name, well, he’s made a statement. Of course if he takes her name Brienne doesn’t have to officially join the family or anything. Of course she wouldn’t associate herself with them. And he would be associating with her, and okay, this means that their father is disinheriting him for real the moment he goes back home but —

 

Woah. It was truly inspired, Tyrion decides, smiling ever so slightly as he finally understands why Stark was about to explode from amusement before.

 

“Well,” Jaime says when he realizes no one is talking, “I like hers better. So, should we go on and finalize it? Because I’m rather itching to.”

 

“Of course,” Catelyn Stark says, clearing her throat again. “So, it’s time for the two of you to exchange your vows and make this official, how about it? I’m not going to ask you to keep it strict since we know you won’t, just say the proper words at some point.”

 

Her kids and husband in first row laugh, but then Jaime clears his throat.

 

“It’s with my uttermost pleasure that I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, soon-to-not-be Jaime Lannister, do take thee, Brienne Tarth, to be my lawful wedded wife to love, respect, and cherish, as long as we both shall live, and you can bet I’ve never been readier for anything in my entire life, if you don’t count that time —”

 

“There are kids present here,” Catelyn interrupts him, “if it’s that time I’m thinking of. Don’t, that was enough.”

 

“Okay, okay,” he says, his hands still not leaving Brienne’s. “Your turn.”

 

Brienne, who is looking at him so fondly Tyrion almost feels embarrassed looking at them, clears her throat as well. “I — I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, Brienne Tarth, do take thee, Jaime soon-to-not-be Lannister, to be my lawful wedded husband to love, respect, and cherish, as long as we both shall live.” She’s saying it like she can barely believe she’s in the position to, but honestly, he’s never seen anyone look at his damned brother like there’s nothing else they want in the world as much as show him exactly how much she intends to love, respect and cherish him, so it’s all good.

 

“Excellent,” Catelyn goes on. “So, since I can see that you’re itching to make sure his surname change is made official as soon as possible, I’d say the witnesses can hand over the rings and you can exchange them already.”

 

Tyrion immediately produces the box from his pocket as Jaime kneels down to take it.

 

“You could have warned about the A plan,” he whispers.

 

“But where would the fun have been then?” Jaime winks, and then he stands back up. They picked matching silver rings, white gold with pale sapphires, and Tyrion is one hundred per cent sure they spent the equivalent of three months’s wages on them, but he figures they wanted to splurge and honestly? They should have. No point in getting married when you mean it and doing things halfway.

 

Catelyn clears her throat again. “We have now finally come to the exchange of rings, which is the traditional way of sealing the contract you have both just made. The wedding ring is an unbroken circle; it has no beginning and no end. It symbolises unending and everlasting love and is an outward sign of the lifelong promise you have made to each other. Not that I think you’d need rings for a reminder, but you’re welcome to exchange them. Again, however you’d like, and remember that there are children in here.”

 

At that, Jaime does seem to get emotional for real. His left hand shakes as he holds it up. “Brienne, I honestly never even dared hoping we’d come to this when I realized you were the one person I wanted to marry, and I still don’t know how I lucked out that much or what I did to deserve it, but with the premise that I’ll try to not fuck it up, I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love, affection, and respect.”

 

She half-glares at him for a moment, but then she shakes her head, her hold on his hands tightening. “Jaime, as much as I’ll forever cherish the day when you’ll stop with that ridiculous drama about deserving things and whatnot, but hopefully that can be worked on.. I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love, affection, and respect, and never mind what you think I deserve or not since you’re the only person I want, all right?”

 

Shit. Tyrion is not going to cry. He’s not. He’s not —

 

Catelyn thankfully starts talking again before anyone can do something too embarrassing. “Jaime and Brienne, you have both eloquently now made the declarations required by law, and you have made solemn promises to one another in the presence of your family and friends gathered here today. This day will form a milestone in your lives. You will look back upon it with love and happiness, and as the start of a new life together. We hope that the feelings of love that you have for each other will deepen and grow ever stronger throughout the years to come, even if the entire office wonders how much more until we all need to go to the dentist’s, but don’t worry, no one minds. It now gives me great pleasure to declare that you are wife and husband. Congratulations, and finally, I suppose for you all, you may kiss and stop looking at each other like you’ll die if you won’t.”

 

They don’t let her wait a moment longer — the second she says it, they’re moving towards each other and making out like there’s no tomorrow, there’s no way that’s one kiss only, and when Tyrion glances at Cersei and their father, they both look like they’re fucking blanching.

 

Tyrion thinks that this is officially the best marriage he’s ever attended. Fuck. Jaime really did go for it fully, didn’t he?

 

But the more he thinks about it, the more he can see why Jaime was gloating about it before.

 

Meanwhile, those two are still kissing and they only stop when Catelyn clears her through loud enough to be heard.

 

“No one suspected that you wouldn’t go for that kind of kiss, but since we need to actually sign the legal documents with the witnesses… ladies and gentlemen, please be seated while the register is completed. Congratulations to the both of you and please come here and sign, all of you.”

 

They do it first, then Renly and then Catelyn leans down slightly, handing him the register, and Tyrion is really glad she didn’t force him to stand on a chair or something without him needing to ask.

 

Huh.

 

Jaime has signed it with Tarth and not Lannister already, but then again fair, he had legally changed the name before, hadn’t he? They work in this damned office, after all.

 

He signs, wondering if he’ll get to follow the example sometime soon.

 

Then he hands back the register to Catelyn and gets ready for the fall out, as in, Cersei actually coming towards the both of them while everyone else is congratulating them left and right.

 

Tywin isn’t even trying to, but he’s fuming.

 

Oh.

 

Right.

 

Because if Jaime changed the name —

 

Tyrion is the only son he has left with the family name.

 

Tyrion is going to laugh for a long, long time when this entire ceremony is done.

 

“Jaime —” Cersei starts whispering, but she shakes his head.

 

“See,” he says, “I don’t think that the issue will be whether she’d fit with us. The issue will be whether I fit with her and honestly? I think that we work pretty well. Don’t worry, no need to include either of us in the next tabloid family picture.”

 

“You can’t give up your name like that!” She presses while Brienne, on the other side, is staring down at her former classmates who are looking at her like… they’re really ashamed about something? Tyrion has no idea, but if she wants to gloat at some most-likely-assholes, he’s not going to intrude.

 

Jaime shrugs. “Actually, I can. If it means I get to be happy with the person I want, it’s not a problem at all. And if you start again with that only a Lannister can love a Lannister nonsense… well, I’m not one anymore, am I? Anyway, lunch is in an hour. I suppose you did get the address, didn’t you?”

 

“Jaime, you can’t expect me to eat at the local Unison office,” she says.

 

“They were more than glad to organize it for the daughter of one of their favorite members until he retired. And after, too, for that matter,” he grins back. “Also, you’re missing on excellent fried onions, but what have you. Thanks for coming, then,” he says, and moves back to Brienne’s side, most likely to make sure her former classmates feel thoroughly humiliated.

 

“Well,” Bronn tells Tyrion as he walks up to him a moment later, “that was the most fucking hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. So, am I driving you to the Unison office and then I’m kicking you in the arse so you talk to your ex? Who has been crying next to me for the last twenty minutes.”

 

“I hope for good reasons?”

 

“Didn’t seem like they were bad,” Bronn shrugs.

 

Right. “I’m down with it.” He glances at how his brother and Brienne are holding hands on the side still and smiles to himself as they walk out of the room. Oh, he definitely will have a whole lot of things to tell in the best man’s speech, though, Jaime can bet on that.

 

But at least it looks like Cersei and his father won’t be coming, looking at the way they’re glaring at the entire room as they leave.

 

Well. Jaime’s A plan was, indeed, a success, Tyrion decides.

 

Maybe it’s time he starts thinking about how he could definitely follow the example.

 

 

 

End.