the two faces of vengeance - epilogue

[janie_tangerine]

Epilogue

In the end they settle for Cheyenne.

They ride together in silence, and Castiel can’t help spending the entire time wondering why his hands are sweating. His hands haven’t sweated since he killed a man for the first time – they shouldn’t now. It isn’t that the silence is uncomfortable; it’s mostly that the more they go on the more he realizes that he has no idea of how to deal with this. It’s as if he’s drunk on feeling, when he has spent years carefully shutting out anything of the kind. Right now he feels drained and exhilarated at the same time, not to mention that whole other problem named Dean Winchester.

Or, well, not a problem. That would be unfair and wouldn’t take into account a number of things Castiel feels in presence of the man. After all, he decided to become a preacher quite early and he had never intended to marry, especially after realizing that women did nothing for him. He had realized that it wasn’t bound to end well, if he ever acted on his feelings. Then – then Anna had died, and after then he had just assumed that he’d track down the bastard who was responsible and worry about the rest later. After killing fifty people in four years, not counting the ones you hunted down because you needed money, you tend to think that you’ll never find a purpose beyond your current one – he couldn’t say that he wouldn’t have joined all the people he’s killed down in hell soon after. Mostly because you can’t live the life he’s been leading until now without something to drive them.

Except that now maybe he has found another purpose that might drive him for a while, and the thought makes his knees shake – he wishes he knew what to do with it. He can’t really dwell on it though, not when he’s not the one who won’t ever get a chance of an easy life whatever he decides to do.

It doesn’t take long to reach Cheyenne. They ride along the railroad tracks and Dean tells him to pick the place, they can afford whatever he chooses. Castiel picks an inn that looks fancy enough, if only because it’s apparently newly built. Dean hands him a couple of bills, not saying anything; Castiel gets down from his mule and goes inside. He makes enquiries, is assured that each room has a comfortable bed, and he asks which is the best available one that they have. He adds that he’s traveling with a friend who’s recently been sick and needs a good rest. When the clerk tells him that the best room that they have is the bridal suite, and that he’s very sorry but they don’t have rooms with more than one bed, Castiel tells him that it’s fine and he’ll sleep on the floor. It’s strange to lie about such a thing, he thinks, as he pays for three days. He asks if they can leave the horses on the outside, he’s assured that they can.

The clerk hadn’t lied, Castiel thinks when he sees it – it’s a good room. The sheets are clean, so clean that he winces as soon as he touches the side the pillow’s cover and dirt from his fingers latches on the white cloth; the bed is soft enough, there’s a lot of light coming in and there’s a small, adjacent room with a tub. The clerk said they should call a maid if they need water other than what’s in the pitcher on the bureau, but Castiel figures that it’ll do for now. They both wash their hands in silence – Castiel has taken his coat off and Dean has done the same with his poncho, but not with the scarf.

Castiel closes the curtains as soon as he’s done.

Dean sits on the bed, and is breathing sounds labored.

“Are you – are you unwell?” Castiel asks, hating the way his voice hesitates.

Dean shakes his head and looks back at him, their eyes meeting. Castiel’s stomach turns upside down at the thought of what Alastair had in program to do. Such beautiful eyes, he thinks – and he can read them without much effort. Dean has never trained himself not to give anything away – Castiel almost regrets having deemed it necessary himself. He knows that his face is mostly expressionless at any given time – he hopes it doesn’t ruin things now.

“I just – I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do now,” Dean says. His voice has gotten rougher since the first time they talked – Castiel hates how it sounds. He had like Dean’s voice when they met, it suited him for some reason. Now the more he talks the more Castiel wonders if it will ever change back. “What do I do, go around with this thing carved in my face? I don’t want to know how many people would even be willing to talk to me or sell me anything. And I can’t go visit Sam in Boston – he wouldn’t mind, but the first thing our relatives would think, that’d probably be sending me to whatever freak show’s passing through town at the moment. And I can’t even think that – I mean, what happens now? It’s not like I know that many people in our situation, and I’m pretty sure we don’t have a fucking happily ever after written on our faces.”

Good question, Castiel thinks, but he really can’t think about what happens tomorrow. He has been thinking that for four years – he’s done. He moves closer, reaching his hand up and taking the scarf off. The skin is still red and angry under it – the shape of that scar seems almost mocking itself. Castiel’s eyes go to Dean’s mouth though – that hasn’t been ruined. Maybe the idea was to slash on the sides so that it would merge with that fake smile, but as things are it’s exactly the way it used to be before. Dean’s lips look paler now – the first time they met, they had been almost red. Castiel moves even closer, a hand on Dean’s shoulder, and Dean doesn’t move back. The kiss he leaves on Dean’s lips is brief, and he doesn’t let Dean kiss back, breaking it before he can. He needs to say what he has to before letting that happen.

“Us getting a fucking happily ever after doesn’t seem likely,” Castiel agrees. “Then again, two people shooting down twenty-five with just surprise on their side doesn’t seem likely either, does it?”

He stares at Dean’s lips, relieved when Dean lets out a small smile. “Yeah, well, I guess so.”

“If I told you that when I came into town I was sure I wouldn’t be leaving it, does that change things for you?”

“Do you – do you mean that –”

“I had a purpose. I assumed that if I was done with it – then I would be done with the rest.”

“And now?”

“I guess I’m not if you’re not,” Castiel answers as sincerely as he can. “We did the first unlikely thing.”

“So what, I just send you forward anytime I need to talk with people and I can’t do it from behind your scarf?”

“It would be all right with me,” Castiel answers, quietly. “There are – there’s no need to draw attention. I have some money, too, you know. Two people can live somewhere, but to do business you just need one.” Castiel doesn’t even know what he’s saying or at which straws he’s grasping. He just knows that he can’t let things end here, if only because he might still be drunk on everything he’s feeling, but one thing he knows is that he doesn’t want to lose this.. And the next thing he knows he’s being pinned to the bed. Dean is above him, still staring down at him, his eyes wide, like he’s actually considering it, and then a hand reaches up to the top button of Castiel’s shirt.

“Well,” Dean says, “I think that we can think about it. But right now, I think that we need to avoid a risk.”

“Which would be?”

“That no one should ever risk dying a virgin, least of all you,” Dean answers, and while Castiel doesn’t know if it’s a clever way to change the subject or if he’s serious (he has to be, at least partly), he doesn’t object when Dean’s hand starts to open up all the buttons of his shirt. Dean doesn’t ask him to take it off though – and when he’s done, he runs his hand along Castiel’s chest and sternum, lightly, stopping for a second on a couple of scars he gained when someone shot him in the shoulder a couple of years ago.

“Nice,” Dean says, “I expected a lot worse, but then again I underestimate you, I guess.” He starts to take off his shirt, but Castiel sits up and shakes his head. First he takes off Dean’s hat, which for some reason had stayed there all this time, then moves up to his knees so that they’re face to face, and opens up Dean’s blue shirt as well – it’s all bandages underneath. Castiel sighs, knowing it can’t go any other way, and when Dean shrugs the shirt off he starts to do the same.

“Don’t,” Dean says, “I kind of like it on you,” he says, his hands reaching for Castiel’s hips, and Castiel puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders, or the only bare skin he can touch from the waist upwards. He leans down, placing a kiss on the left one. Dean shivers, his hands reaching down for Castiel’s belt, getting rid of it in a couple of motions. Castiel suddenly feels hot like burning, warmth pooling down below his waist, maybe because of Dean’s nearness or maybe because of the way Dean’s hands are running along the small of his back. He doesn’t know, but his heart rate suddenly speeds up and his breathing does as well. He can feel his cheeks flushing.

“Back down,” Dean says, almost teasing, and Castiel leans down on the bed again, Dean’s hands still running over his body, the left quicker than the right.

Dean moves away then, taking off his boots – Castiel does the same and gets rid of the rest of his clothes except for the shirt. He looks over at Dean when he’s done – bandages or not, he can’t help liking Dean’s body a lot. It’s toned, fit, and Castiel curses not being able to run his hands along Dean’s back the same way Dean is running his along Castiel’s hips. He can’t help arching up into the touch when Dean leans down over him a second time, touching him again – he can’t really help it. Then again, there has never been anyone else before and – as soon as he thinks that his brain almost switches off, his entire body feeling set up on fire, and his hand reaches up behind Dean’s neck, bringing his head down and crashing their lips together. Dean gasps into his mouth, his tongue meeting Castiel’s, his hands tangling in Castiel’s hair, and when it’s over they’re both out of breath.

“Fuck, it’s such a waste that you’ve never done this,” Dean says before kissing the hollow of Castiel’s throat and the moving back, placing his knees on either side of Castiel’s ankles and looking down at him.

“Well then,” Dean says, “at least I know you’re interested.”

Understatement, Castiel thinks. He was hard the second Dean pinned him to the bed, right now it almost hurts. And it’s – well, he has spent half of his life just touching himself, but he doesn’t think he has ever been this excited, not for anything. He stares down at himself, noticing that there’s some pre-come leaking out already, and he’d really just like for Dean to do anything until he notices the way Dean is looking down at him. Like he’s calculating the advantages of doing something versus the –

“Don’t,” Castiel says, “you don’t have to. Just – just your hand will be fine, I don’t – another time.”

Dean looks up at him apologetically, moving down so that he’s on top of Castiel again, his left hand closing around his cock, giving it a soft stroke. “I was hoping to give you something more exciting,” Dean says.

As if he needed it – Castiel is about to come apart just from how slow Dean’s hand is moving. Dean’s skin is rough against his cock and it feels so good that he might burst.

“Exciting can wait until it doesn’t hurt you when you eat,” Castiel replies, knowing that it’s not what you’re supposed to say, but as much as he’d have liked to feel that – no. It’s not time. When Dean leans down to kiss him again he lets him, and between the way Dean moves his tongue and the way he starts stroking faster, he thinks it’ll be enough to drive him insane with need. He’s also quite sure that he’s moaning helplessly inside Dean’s mouth, his hips jerking up to meet Dean’s hand, and – he doesn’t really know if he can last much longer, not when Dean’s thumb is rubbing against the head of his cock, not when he can feel himself ready to explode. When the kiss is over he opens his eyes and looks up into Dean’s, so green and still so unmarred, and he just – he can’t – Dean, he says, and then he jerks up and lets go. It sends tremors throughout his back and all his muscles. He can feel his entire chest shaking, and it’s probably a disproportionate reaction, but he can’t hold back. A white light explodes beneath his eyelids, and he clutches at Dean’s shoulders, still jerking up against him, and – then he can’t even think anymore.

He opens his eyes, slowly, to see Dean cleaning his hand on his discarded shirt. His lips feel suddenly dry, and his cock stirs in interest even if he should feel completely spent.

“Hey, are you –”

Castiel doesn’t let him finish and rolls them over, so that he is on top.

“I am perfectly fine,” he says kissing the corner of Dean’s mouth, not missing that Dean shivers under him at that. “And I think that you aren’t, at least not for now,” Castiel says, shifting slightly. And Dean is as hard as he was – it’s pleasing to discover that.

“You most definitely aren’t,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, well, guess you’re gonna do something about it?”

Castiel doesn’t answer, just leans down over Dean. He doesn’t go directly for something he’s never done – he’d rather take his time first. He licks a stripe on Dean’s cock, slowly, feeling it under his tongue, tasting – bitter, but not unpleasant – and he feels it harden oh-so-slightly as he does, so he does it again. Dean is looking down at him with dark eyes, his lips slightly trembling, his pupils half blown – well then. He can’t tease that much longer. He places his hands around Dean’s bandaged hips, leans down and takes the head of Dean’s cock into his mouth. Dean obviously bites his tongue in order not to moan, but the aborted sound still reach Castiel’s ears and he figures he must be doing it right. It’s not like he doesn’t know how it works, even if he never liked whorehouses. He starts to suck just on the head, feels Dean trying not to arch up too much and takes him further down – at about half he decides he’s not risking more. He licks down under the head, feeling Dean harden further inside his mouth and trying to muffle his moans against the pillow, and since he’s being doing good until now he just keeps on sucking, moving his head up and down, just slightly, and Dean gives up trying to stay silent.

“Cas, fuck –” he starts, but never goes past that, his breathing turning into panting as Castiel steps up his pace a bit, and then there’s a hand tugging on his hair.

“I’m – I’m going to –”

Well, Castiel had sort of realized that, and he isn’t about to move away now, and when Dean comes he’s ready, or so he thinks.

In reality he isn’t, because Dean comes so hard that while he does swallow at the beginning, he has to move away in order not to choke, but he recovers quick enough to wrap his hand around Dean’s cock and stroke it as Dean comes. It lasts a long time, and Castiel can’t help staring down at the way Dean’s eyelashes flutter, at the way his body twists and shivers and moves, at the way he can’t help moaning as Castiel keeps on stroking him to completion. When it’s over, Dean lies almost boneless on the mattress, a thin layer of sweat on his face, his lips half parted. He opens his eyes after a short while, his pupils still slightly blown, and Castiel can’t just help it when his hand reaches up and covers Dean’s cheek completely as he lays back down. Dean doesn’t jerk away though, which is strange because touching that scar should hurt.

“Cas, you have a talent,” Dean breathes out, and Castiel decides that it’s time to go for it. Dean was right before – there’s only a slight chance that this thing between them can actually work, but –

He just can’t let it go.

“You wouldn’t want it to go to waste then, would you?”

“You could… not waste it on someone easier to stay with,” Dean answers, and from the way he’s looking at him, Castiel can see that he isn’t joking.

“It’s a pity then, that I’m rather fond of you,” he answers, moving closer, his right hand moving in between Dean’s shoulder blades.

“You really wanna prove me wrong, don’t you?” Dean asks, but he sounds – he sounds more hopeful than anything else.

“Yes,” Castiel simply answers, not seeing the point in dancing around the subject.

“And to think that when I met you I thought I would have to convince you to crack a smile. Now you’re convincing me that this whole thing isn’t insane,” Dean says, sounding rather shocked. “You just won’t stop surprising me, will you?”

Castiel doesn’t even know what to answer at that – he shrugs, settles down on the pillow, his fingers tangling in the hair at the back of Dean’s head. It’s so soft – the skin, the hair, everything. You tend to marvel at the feeling, when you spend four years only touching guns.

“Fine,” Dean says then, his voice suddenly smaller, “you win.”

“I – it means –”

“Cas, yes, it means. Shut up. I can pay for this room for the next week without a fucking problem. We’re thinking about details another time. Can you just work with not talking?”

“… I can work with it.”

“Good,” is Dean’s only reply before he moves his head against Castiel’s shoulder and settles there, seemingly not intent on moving anytime soon.

Castiel stares for a second at the white lace curtains filtering a pink light from outside. It must be sunset. Then he lets his head fall back against the pillow, and he realizes that his left arm has moved around Dean’s shoulders and his right hand is currently the one carding through the hair at the back of Dean’s head.

He hasn’t used his right hand for anything other than shooting for three and a half years.

He takes a deep breath, then another, then he settles back down on the bed.

Yes, he can work with it. He can work with it as long as they both need.

End.

Comments

[lathan-lover.livejournal.com]

Part 4 doesn't seem to be posted properly. You can only see part of the chapter before it gets cut off.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

.... oh, crap. I knew that it was too good that after half of the day with server errors LJ had let me do this smoothly. Thanks, I'll go fix it. *runs*

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Okay, update: LJ is giving me continuous server errors and according to it, the entire chapter is posted (if I go on edit entry I see the entire thing), but obviously it won't load. And it won't let me edit anything except the masterpost (guess it's because it's shorter than 1000 words). Anyway, I put part IV on my dreamwidth account and the link is on the part IV one on the masterpost - I can't put it into part III as well because of said server errors. I'll try to get everything back on LJ as soon as it works properly again for me but for now that's the best solution I could come up with. And thanks again for pointing out that it didn't work properly. :/

[(Anonymous)]

I love this. What more can I say? Srsly, everytime I see your name attached to a new fic, it makes me happy. You did fucking awesome.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! :D I'm so very glad that you liked it so much. <3

[blue-fjords.livejournal.com]

I just skimmed this and am very much looking forward to going back and reading it properly. Made my heart ache, but in a good way. Oh, sweet, messed-up boys! So sorry LJ had to fuck up the posting! Man, I wish I could send you cookies and cupcakes...

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm glad it sounded good regardless! :D and ha, yeah, I guess messed up here covers it enough. And OOH CUPCAKES. *grabs all virtual ones* I swear, I think it took me a total of eight/nine hours. I can't even. *kicks hackers*

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

this is just wonderful! I'm so glad they took out the bad guys and made it out alive! (it actually reminded me of Clint Eastwood movies, only, you know, slashier.....)
thank you for the great story!!!!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Ehe, it's probably because it was, uuuh, totally inspired by at least four different Clint movies. ;) (and I dressed them up like Clint in two different ones. I like Clint. /understatement of the century) I'm really glad that you liked it, thanks for reading yourself! :DDD

[harper47.livejournal.com]

Aww bb, it was wonderful. I felt just like I was watching a Clint Eastwood movie, except that it was populated by my two favorite guys. I love the way the entrance you gave to both of them and I was really surprised (in a good way) when Dean ended up being so scarred. It added so much emotional depth to the story. And now I picture them happily ever after on their ranch.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! :DD it's awesome to hear it felt like a Clint movie because er, I might have based it on a number of Clint movies, so. ;) I did debate over scarring Dean but then I figured that he wasn't going to be resurrected and healed all over and it would be better for payoff. I'm kind of sorry about it though. ;) and hee, I'm pretty sure they'll be as okay as it gets. ;) I'm so glad that you liked it!

[hrymfaxe.livejournal.com]

Oh Janie, it's been so much fun to work with you on this story (and it gave me some very good excuses for looking up pictures of Clint Eastwood!! which is always a bonus) I really liked what you did with this story, and also that you weren't afraid to take it to a dark place for Dean, to take away the good looks he so obviously knew and were happy with. Needless to say, I'm also really glad you had Cas there, to learn from Dean and to help him back up after he fell. ;)

All the other characters really add to the whole mood, and several of the scenes really played out like a movie to me (and would be cool to do as comic pages. Oh to have more time). Smooth writing bb, thank you for taking me along! ♥

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

First: ew, I wanted to answer before but obviously.. LJ doesn't let me answer comments until now. *sighs in defeat* Sorry for the lateness. :(

And aw thanks so much! :D believe me, totally right back at you here. ♥ (also heee, excuses for looking up Clint pictures are always great in my book! and considering the result I totally won't be the one to complain. Oh no.) I'll admit I did debate with myself over Dean's situation but then I figured it'd be more realistic. And make the whole thing a bit more meaningful. ;)

You're welcome and thank you, I couldn't be happier about how it turned out. ♥ ♥ ♥

[piecesofrapture.livejournal.com]

This was a wonderful AU. I usually don't read AU-s because I don't have the same fondness towards human!Cas as I do for our regular bamf!angel Cas but you made him so badass here, I completely fell for him :3 And Dean was such a sweetheart. And the scars! Unexpected, but a wonderful development that added a touch of angst and even romance, considering how Castiel's feelings seemed even deeper and more real then. Balthazar and Gabriel were also great additions to the characters ;D Not to mention Bobby and Rufus, who I love in the SPN!verse and who you portrayed wonderfully.

All in all, WELL DONE. *claps awkwardly* WELL DONE. :D

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks so very much! :) I'm really glad that this worked for you even if AUs aren't your usual thing - and it's awesome to know you liked Cas in this because I really wanted him to be as badass as he could get. With his limitations. ;) And it's good that the scarring did work for you story-wise because while I'm usually pretty loathe to damage poor characters permanently I thought it'd work best story-wise. And hey, I didn't kill him. ;) I'm also so glad to know that the secondary characters worked for you - they were necessary but I also didn't want to overdo them/get them wrong. Thanks again! :D

[cupidsbow.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this -- it's ages since I read a good western, and I loved the canon riffs you worked in too.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, I'm so glad that you liked it! :D and I'll never not try to put as much canon as I can when I do AUs so it's lovely to know it worked for you here.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

Supernatural + Western Trope = Awesome!

“You could… not waste it on someone easier to stay with,” Dean answers, and from the way he’s looking at him, Castiel can see that he isn’t joking.

“It’s a pity then, that I’m rather fond of you,” he answers, moving closer, his right hand moving in between Dean’s shoulder blades.

“You really wanna prove me wrong, don’t you?” Dean asks, but he sounds – he sounds more hopeful than anything else.

“Yes,” Castiel simply answers, not seeing the point in dancing around the subject.

“And to think that when I met you I thought I would have to convince you to crack a smile. Now you’re convincing me that this whole thing isn’t insane,” Dean says, sounding rather shocked. “You just won’t stop surprising me, will you?”

Ah! The sex was hot but this declaration of love is truly beautiful! And yes, Castiel will never not surprise Dean. That's what makes him so awesome.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

I'll admit I had wanted to do a SPN western thing for a while. It was pretty fun to give it a go. :)

I'm really glad that you liked it, thank you so very much! <3

[mercury973.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. I loved every bit. Plus, the end was really hot.Guh.
Thanks for shairing.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad to hear that you liked it! :D and it was my pleasure really. ;)

[kianspo.livejournal.com]

HUH. I can't remember the last time I've been so completely immersed in an AU as I was here now. WOW.

Loved the atmosphere, so authentic. And the characters were just so them, no stretch of imagination to see them as they are at all. Loved very much the cameos by other angels and hunters, but especially Bobby. I wonder if Dean ever got to pay that bill in the end. ;)

Poor Dean. Alastair got what he deserved, I just wished it happened sooner. I loved the realistic ending to things, with both Dean and Cas feeling sort of lost as to their future, but having gotten each other out of the whole revenge affair.

Incredible, haunting, gorgeous tale.
♥♥♥

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! I'm so glad that you liked it so much really, and that the atmosphere worked for you here. (I spent years wanting to write a total western thing then again Dean is not the only one with fetishes I guess so it's really good to know that the setting worked because otherwise I'd have pretty much blown it. ;) ) It's also great that you liked the characterization in this, I was really hoping they'd still sound like themselves regardless of the totally different setting.

Also yeah, poor Dean. I feel horrible for him, but it was plot-necessary. And well, they did get each other after all, and it's great to know that worked for you, too - I DID want them to get each other but making it too happily-ever-after wouldn't have worked. Thanks so much again for reading! ♥

[artmetica.livejournal.com]

This was a great read, so adventurous and Western!
Castiel is such a badass virgin, and he has that hidden "talent" that was meant for Dean ;p eheheh
The result of Dean's torture was shocking, Alastair is one sick SOB! +_+
As for the other characters, I like seeing Balthazar as a journalist, it feels fresh to me ^^ And Bobby! Oh he just fits right into this verse.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot, I'm really glad that this worked for you!

And heee. It's good to know you liked Cas - I kinda wanted to have show!Cas in a western setting so it's great to know that I did good with him. (Also lol he was totally saving that talent for Dean, you bet on that!)

I kinda debated re the full consequences with Alastair but then I just figured I should go for realistic and give him what he deserved. And I'm really glad the other people worked for you - I didn't want to overdo them or get the characterization wrong but I really needed a couple more POVs. ;)

[e0wyn.livejournal.com]

Stupenda. E sono contenta di averti incoraggiato a spingerti un po' oltre con quello che Alastair ha fatto a Dean perchè penso abbia reso ancora più prezioso e profondo quello che Dean e Cas condividono in questo verse. Bellissima storia, si vede che quel periodo ti piace proprio, ne hai catturato l'atmosfera alla perfezione :)

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Eerrr mi sono persa il commento per strada mentre rispondevo O_o scusa il ritardo XD

Eeee grazie mille! :D sono davvero contenta che ti sia piaciuta e che il mio più o meno incoraggiato sadismo abbia funzionato - alla fine comunque avrebbe avuto comunque più effetto quindi mi fa molto piacere sapere che abbia funzionato XD ♥

[greeniron.livejournal.com]

This is great. Castiel as an ex-would-be preacher, gunslinger works particularly well.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you liked the story and that Cas worked for you in this! :D I had some perverse fun recasting him. ;)

[this-impulse.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this, even if it made my heart a little achey. The epilogue helped clear that up a little, though :) I loved how you made Cas so badass and such a nervous virgin at the same time, d'aww. And I really liked how you wove in some of the minor characters, especially Balthazar.

I also liked all the bad guys dying at the end. Westerns ftw \o/

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you! :D I'm really glad that it worked for you in spite of the angstfest that happened in the middle. ;) and I'm so glad that Cas worked for you in this, I was really hoping that my not-so-subtle ways of using canon would pay off. ;)

heee well Dean might have got caught in the spaghetti trope saying that the hero doesn't get out of it without some kind of permanent damage, but I wasn't gonna skip on all the bad guys getting it in the end, really. ;)

[dotfic.livejournal.com]

Oh, unf. Redemption stories and gunslingers and westerns, and it's both dark and hopeful. I really like AU's where the characters still feel very much like themselves, and this felt spot-on, with fascinating variations, and the relationship between Dean and Cas develops pungently. They made my heart ache.

Also your Alastair is incredibly creepy.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! ♥ I'm really glad that the spaghetti extravaganza here worked for you. I had been wanting to write something along the lines of these for ages so it's awesome to know it worked for you as well. And that the characterizations worked for you as well. :) Also it's good to know that Alistair worked for you as well as I was aiming for him to feel creepy - mostly I never write him because he creeps -me- out in the first place, so it's nice to know the effect was achieved. ;)

[confuzed.livejournal.com]

Poor Jensen! Castiel is just awesome and I know he will take care of him. Grr to LJ not wanting me to open this story and then not letting me comment!!! Anyway this was a great read, as I love westerns :)

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Oh, he so totally will, don't doubt it. ;) he likes having a mission after all! Also ew don't tell me about LJ, there's a reason it took me some ten hours to post this entire thing back then. X__X I'm so glad you liked it, thanks! :D And heee, westerns, you can't ever go wrong I think. ;)

[vallie82.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to tell you how awesome I think this story is. I´ve been in Ireland for 10 days and a friend sent me the .pdf so I had something to read on the flight home since I´m terrified of flying. I got it 3 days before we were supposed to go home, and I thought I should read a couple of lines before I saved it for the trip home. I couldn´t save it tho, seeing how drawn in I was from the first line and ended up reading it all in one go.

Cas and Dean in a spaghetti western was to damn good to not devour instantly!
I´ve always admired your writing, and I think I´ve read all of your fics. I´m so impressed that English is not your first language and non the less you write brilliantly!

Thank you for this awesomness!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! :) I'm so glad that you liked it that much (and I hope it did some flight-helping regardless? And that it was a good flight obviously). Also hee well I had always been wanting to just write a straight spaghetti western thing and I had a lot of relative fun with this (relative because I'm sure Dean doesn't agree 100% here..), so it's great to know it works for others as well.

Also extra thanks generally :) it's lovely to know that you like my stuff generally. And I try not to let ESL issues go in the way, though I do have pretty awesome betas. XD <3

[jem-018.livejournal.com]

I loved this! ♥

Cas as a badass, failed preacher gunslinger was awesome. I also loved how he was a nervous virgin at the same time. :P

Dean. Oh, Dean. My heart just breaks for him. Alastair was just evil and so fucking creepy and I'm glad he got what he deserved.

I loved that Rufus and Bobby were in this too. And Balthazar and Gabriel. :D

And that end. I kinda loved that they were both sort of lost, not really knowing what to do next. I guess that happens when your so focused on one thing that you don't know what to do when you've finally achieved it. Yeah, anyway, at least they got each other out of that whole mess. :D

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! :D it's so great to know that it worked for you.

And heee. Well, in canon he's a badass angel who couldn't keep his eyes up in a brothel, I figured the same concept would apply in different circumstances. I'll admit he was the one I had most fun re-casting though. Also poor Dean indeed - poor guy fell victim to my merciless plotting and to that spaghetti cliche that says torture the hero, but I wasn't going to be too merciless. ;) It's also great to know the secondary characters worked for you in this. And that the ending worked for you because I didn't really want it to feel too unrealistic. Which is why I left them there, but I'm pretty sure they'll be as fine as it gets. ;)

[deanawinchester.livejournal.com]

I downloaded the PDF, and I just read the whole fic in one go. I don't even know what to say other than praising your utter geniousness, and express how much I loved this fic. The way you managed to keep the characters in character despite the very different setting is amazing, I fell in love with Balthazar az a journalist, and don't even get me started on Cas&Dean. It was a fabulous reading experience, even though what Alastair did to Dean broke my heart at least three or four times in a row!

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Ee, thank you! :D I'm so glad that you liked it this much (and really, I'm no genius but I'm utterly flattered here). I'm so glad that they all felt IC for you, and well, I figured Balthazar was nosy enough for that job. ;) ;) Also poor Dean. But I wasn't too bad to him in the end, right? ;) thanks again! <3

[invisiblelove.livejournal.com]

Ugh my paid account ran out and I haven't bothered to renew it since I've been neglecting LJ so bad lately and I don't even have a D/C icon - UNACCEPTABLE.

Anyway, wonderful job with this! You totally created that Western feel :D OMG Alastair was so disturbingly creepy. Very Joker-like with the scary knife stuff. I like how you had the two-fold evil with the greed of Zachariah and the general batshit crazy of Alastair ;)

And of course the D/C element was perfection. Loved the dynamics between the two of them <3333

Awesome job \o/

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

NOO GET ANOTHER D/C ICON! ;) ;)

Seriously, thanks so much! :DDD I'm so glad that you liked this and that it felt.. well, as western as it should. XD I did my homework. *cough* And it's great to know that Alastair worked because I never really write him if not in passing references. But I figured it wasn't too far from canon if he went around skinning people. ;) and of course it's great to know the D/C part of that worked too. XD thanks again! <333333333333333333

[fagocytus.livejournal.com]

I'm not fan of western, hell, I'm not sure I've ever seen one, but this story is really great! Thank you for your job!
p.s and sorry for mistakes- I'm not native-speaker

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it's awesome to know that you liked it even if it isn't your genre. :) and no worries, I'm no native speaker either. ;)

[the-trepverter.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... while I very much enjoyed this, I feel the need to offer some critique. First off, post scarring Dean seems very out of character. While I don't doubt that having something that horrific happen to him would shake him, I don't feel it would be to the degree that he couldn't get better and live a normal life. This is the man who recovered from being sent to Hell and tends to hide his psychological wounds. A couple hours with Alastair and a scarred up face wouldn't change him much.

Also, scarring in that time period wouldn't be nearly as big a deal as what you've written. When the Midwest was in it's heyday the Civil war had just happened (or if your writing it later, the Mexican War had just happened) so people with disfiguring wounds were common. Men had missing arms and legs- a couple of facial scars would probably just make Dean seem intimidating to people, not like a freak.

Beyond that I felt the story was very well written. I really liked the setting and the part where they double cross our baddies- I didn't expect such a sophisticated plot. Well done madame.

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

First thing, thanks so much for reading and reviewing even if you didn't find that part convincing. Mostly here I was wanting to parallel canon - having Alastair scarring him like that was the equivalent of canon!Dean going to Hell, so while canon!Dean did get over it, I'm not so sure he did it so quickly. He did have nightmares until mid-season four, and I really didn't think he'd just go and shrug it off after a day or two - and while he does hide everything in canon in this setting I don't think it'd have made sense to just brush it off, especially since he doesn't have to hide it from Sam as he did in canon. (Also I had implied that he had also his chest skinned off, not just his face - as tough as one can be I'm not sure anyone would take it anywhere near nicely.)

Also you're right that it wasn't that much of a big deal in terms of having a bunch of people around being disfigured and I shouldn't have made it so huge, but Dean's problem here is that to be near to Sam he should go living in the East and I wouldn't swear that he'd be taken so graciously in high society. I figured that on the spot it was the most genuine reaction I could go for, but I see why you'd have problems with it.

Anyway, I'm glad that the rest worked for you and that you still liked the story overall. :) thanks so much again for reading.

[wandersfound.livejournal.com]

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WESTERN!AU YOU KNOW I LOVE THIS.

It has been on my to-read list for AGES but I'm so glad I finally got around to it because it is awesome <33333333

[janie-tangerine.livejournal.com]

I SUSPECTED IT MIGHT BE SUITED TO YOUR TASTE. ;) ;)

and eee thanks so much! ;D I'm really glad to know it delivered. I know I had fun with it. XDD ;) ♥