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janie_tangerineTitle: Networking
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Charlie, Charlie/surprise person, mostly everyone else, Jack/Sawyer and occasional Jack/Sawyer/Sayid implied
Words: 2755, but most of it is dialogue/chatting.
Summary: Claire invites Charlie to a chatroom with the rest of the survivors.
Spoilers: goes AU from One of Us.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Reading this, you'll realize why.
A/N: queen![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
toestastegood at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lostsquee asked for Charlie and the Internet. I fear that this is way too crack (and probably too stupid) for what you had in mind and I sincerely apologize for the total madness of this thing, but I had the plot and wouldn't go away. I hope you like it nonetheless and that my crack muse didn't take a false step! Though the ending should make up for any wankiness of this. Also, I know that there isn't the Internet hour in prisons and that the ending is completely arbitrary but since this is crack, I take everything as artistic license. It goes AU from One of Us because it implies that they were all rescued at a time between that episode and Catch 22. Using for 10_shakespeare, 'What case am I in?'. Title stolen from Warren Zevon. Won for best humorous fic, August 2008, and for most fantastically funny fic at the big damn fic awards of 2008 at lost_fic_awards, August 2008.
While sitting in front of his laptop with a cup of hot tea, the noise from the street arriving muffled through the closed windows, Charlie stopped one second to think about how weird did that feel, for a second.
Not sitting in front of the laptop in itself; but sitting in front of the laptop in order to have a bloody chat on Skype with the rest of the rescued.
He had decided to move in Newcastle upon Tyne without any real reason; he just didn’t want to go to London and while Liam’s offer of staying in Australia was very tempting, he had reasoned that he was never going to really feel at home there. Also, he thought he needed a cut with his pre-island life, so to speak; so he had chosen a random city in his home country, where he had never been before. There, he could have lived off his settlement, but he found out he couldn’t not play music anyway and so he spent quite some time playing for free in locals. Then he managed to get a contract with a small record label (well, at least getting stranded there had had its result, right?), which had sold fairly well even if only released through independent circuits; at that point, he had left for a couple of months in order to go on a solo tour in some small venues in England and while it had been absolutely fantastic, it felt bloody good to be home.
During that whole time he had been in contact only with Claire, Hurley and one other person for sort of necessary reasons. She had moved to Los Angeles because she had found out that Jack was her half-brother or something like that and wanted to catch up on wasted time or something like that; Charlie hadn’t objected and he gone to visit her once every two months at least, even if he hadn’t seen anyone else. He was on the phone with her the other day when he had told her that he was sort of regretting not having managed to keep in touch with more people and she had started to say that he really should try to use technology and get a Skype contact. She said that once per week everyone gathered on there at one fixed hour, which for Charlie was five in the afternoon (hence the tea), to have a chat together. After ten minutes in which she kept on saying he should join them and that he would so be surprised to see what many of them were up to, Charlie gave up and said that he was going to install it. He got Claire to give him her contact (claire_littleton@yahoo.com, at least it was a normal e-mail without fancy nicknames or anything) and Hurley’s (reyes_workman@hotmail.com, which was kinda scary in Charlie’s opinion) and promised he was going to show up that afternoon.
So there he was, going on the Skype site and installing the program; when choosing his name, he wondered whether he should use his real name, but then thought about any wankers he could manage to find on the Internet and figured that a nickname was safer. After a bit of thinking, he chose hoodiesrock and added Claire to his list of contacts, finding himself quite surprised seeing that her screen name was nothingelsematters. Not really knowing how the thing worked, he just pressed contact and a window opened. He figured he could try to speak to her, right? He smiled fondly when he saw a blond baby boy as her avatar.
hoodiesrock: Claire? Is that you?
nothingelsematters: Charlie, hi! So you did it?
hoodiesrock: yeah, well, sort of. Sure. So, what should I do now? I mean...
nothingelsematters: do you have a webcam?
hoodiesrock: well, not really. Why?
nothingelsematters: pity. We could have seen each other then! Oh well, no problem. Have you added Hurley?
hoodiesrock: not yet. Is he on?
nothingelsematters: yeah, he is. There’s also... Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, Juliet, Sun, Rose, Bernard and Kate...
hoodiesrock: Kate? But she was in prison!
nothingelsematters: well, we do gather at this hour because it’s when the inmates can access the internet from the prison. We get one hour in the morning.
hoodiesrock: oh. Well, that’s fantastic.
nothingelsematters: I’m inviting you there, okay? Don’t get scared on me, though.
hoodiesrock: sure. Go ahead.
He added Hurley meanwhile, trying not to laugh out loud when he saw that his nickname was yodude; as soon as he did it though, another window opened sort of magically and he was thrown in a multiple chat with...
docgiggles, theghostoftomjoad, runbabyrun, carriethemuffinwoman, aljazeera, material_girl, adriannapennino and johnrambo.
He didn’t even have time to think about who the fuck was behind every name; suddenly he was warmly greeted and it didn’t take much to figure out. Also, he got requests of adding from ghostoftomjoad@yahoo.com, j_shephard@gmail.com, bernardnadler@gmail.com, rose_nadler@hotmail.com, sayidj@yahoo.co.uk, sunandjink@gmail.com, carriettawhite@yahoo.com and runbabyrun@hotmail.com, which made him kind of slow answering the first flood of messages.
theghostoftomjoad: look who’s joining us. Hi there midget ¬¬
hoodiesrock: Sawyer?
Using emoticons of everything?
That was highly disturbing. And apart from that, the nickname was just what he would have expected, even if he did have a question.
hoodiesrock: and since when you like Springsteen anyway?
theghostoftomjoad: it’s not like you ever bothered asking me, right?
docgiggles: Sawyer, cut it. I already know too much on the subject myself >-<. Hey, Charlie. Is everything fine?
hoodiesrock: Jack? Is that you?
What the hell was it with EMOTICONS?
docgiggles: yeah, that’d be me.
hoodiesrock: everything’s fine, thank you. But why you know too much about the subject?
docgiggles: well... ^//^
runbabyrun: because they live together and I figure Sawyer is inflicting his musical choices on Jack. Makes me almost glad to be where I am. And that I didn’t choose.
theghostoftomjoad: Freckles, your taste in music really is awful. :/
hoodiesrock: hey, Sheryl Crow isn’t that bad. Kate? How are you?
runbabyrun: hi Charlie. Well, fine enough. Considering how things are going, I might be out in two years or so. You know, good behavior. :)
hoodiesrock: well, that’s bloody great to hear! Uhm, aljazeera? Is that you, Sayid?
aljazeera: yes, Charlie. That would be me. It really is a pleasure to hear from you again.
hoodiesrock: oh, same here mate. But uhm, the name...
theghostoftomjoad: it’s because he misses me, ain’t that?
aljazeera: Sawyer, shut up.
theghostoftomjoad: aaww. Now that’s almost moving. Doc, you think he could drop here one of these days? ;)
docgiggles: Sawyer, couldn’t we have this conversation somewhere else?
aljazeera: I would be inclined to agree with Jack here.
theghostoftomjoad: fine, fine, I’ll just open another window just for you two, what about that?
carriethemuffinwoman: the conversation here does lack variety. :/
nothingelsematters: yeah, always like that when they end up talking about those arrangements.
material_girl: let them have fun.
adriannapennino: you seem to be in a good mood these days, girl.
johnrambo: of course, she’s having a baby in a month!
yodude: Charlie, dude, hi! Sorry, my mom had caught me in another chat. :)
hoodiesrock: oh, don’t worry, that’s good. How are things going there?
yodude: not bad, except for Jack, Sawyer and Sayid which seemed to have disappeared.
johnrambo: I think they’re having that chat.
adriannapennino: I second that.
yodude: dude, really? :O
adriannapennino: I think they should just leave cybersex alone and do things seriously.
johnrambo: Sayid is with that non profit organization in Iraq. I think it’s either cybersex or...
runbabyrun: Uhm, could we please let them to have cybersex as they wish?
carriethemuffinwoman: I have to agree with that. I mean, we all read what they can do that time they didn’t get private, right?
material_girl: well, I thought it wasn’t that bad.
nothingelsematters: you say it. Well, it was sort of hot if you think about it but...
Charlie had a look at the avatars, trying to find out who everyone was. As soon as he recognized a pic of a young Jin, he figured that material_girl had to be Sun. Jack had a picture of a bloke he had seen on TV once, a crazy doctor that walked with a cane and almost killed each of his patients before saving them; Sawyer had a sort of abstract painting which he thought was the cover of Springsteen's The Ghost of Tom Joad; Kate had some random flower, probably because she was from the prison’s computer; this muffin woman had a chocolate muffin but he couldn’t really place who could she be. johnrambo had, well, John Rambo, but he figured it had to be Bernard, since adriannapennino had a picture of Rose and Bernard himself. Sayid had pretty much nothing as Charlie, which made him sort of relieved.
yodude: so Charlie, how did the tour go?
hoodiesrock: well, it was a good tour. Had fun, played a while, but it’s nice to be home.
carriethemuffinwoman: you can say it.
hoodiesrock: hey, I’m really sorry, but who...
carriethemuffinwoman: I’m Juliet.
hoodiesrock: oh, right. Sorry, didn’t recognize you.
carriethemuffinwoman: no problem :)
God, now Juliet was using emoticons, too?
runbabyrun: hey, people? I’m having a request to join the conversation.
yodude: who is? I thought it was only us.
runbabyrun: here it says boxman. What do I do?
material_girl: why, say yes. I wouldn’t know who could it be but...
theghostoftomjoad: what’s happening here?
carriethemuffinwoman: about time.
nothingelsematters: where are the other two?
theghostoftomjoad: the doc here’s a bit tired I guess. I figure Al Jazeera is too...
aljazeera: absolutely not.
theghostoftomjoad: wow. You do have resistance.
boxman: there’s everyone here. Pretty good.
theghostoftomjoad: hey, who the heck are you?
Charlie suddenly had a flash of a conversation.
Oh God.
hoodiesrock: people, I think it’s Locke.
boxman: hi, Charlie. You’re pretty perceptive I have to say.
nothingelsematters: John?! But you are on the island!
boxman: oh, we found a new hatch. Completed, newly built and with wireless internet access. I tell you, it’s was sign of destiny.
docgiggles: LOCKE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
theghostoftomjoad: I knew he was going to wake up at that.
nothingelsematters: Jack, stay calm.
yodude: you really have a hatch with wireless Internet, dude?
boxman: totally. You should really see it.
aljazeera: I thought Dharma didn’t have such developed systems.
boxman: it isn’t Dharma.
material_girl: oh, please, not Dharma again...
hoodiesrock: I’d agree with her, quite much.
runbabyrun: hey, I have another request for joining.
docgiggles: what does it say?
runbabyrun: deathisnottheend.
johnrambo: well, we said yes to one, let’s say yes to two.
Charlie followed the conversation closely, noting the knife in Locke’s avatar and the peace symbol in deathisnottheend’s.
deathisnottheend: wow, pretty much everyone here. Well, guess then what I have to do is easier, since I’m on borrowed time.
aljazeera: wait a moment, who...
docgiggles: BOONE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deathisnottheend: wow, Jack, that’s so sweet of you. I wasn’t thinking that you’d recognize me so soon.
yodude: but dude, you are... just...
hoodiesrock: ... dead...?
deathisnottheend: yeah, pretty much, but you know, we have wi-fi.
boxman: Boone?! But... that’s... that’s another...
deathisnottheend: no, John, it isn’t a sign of destiny. It’s just that we had wi-fi before you did even find the trail for your Internet hatch and as I said, I’m on limited time. Would you excuse me for doing my business quickly?
nothingelsematters: yeah, sure, but...
deathisnottheend: okay. Sawyer, the shrimp guy says you don’t have to worry about him, he doesn’t blame you. Kate, Tom says hi and not to worry about him. Jack, Claire, your father says that he’s proud of you both, even if he was sort of creepy when he told me. But anyway. Hurley, Libby says hi and that you’re doing great with that dissociated diet or whatever it was. Sayid, Shan says good luck and that when you’re back from Iraq she totally wants you to quit the cybersex and go on to the real deal...
theghostoftomjoad: hey, I always said that girl had a good head, when...
deathisnottheend: okay, that’d be from the others. Regarding me... John, I think I’ll have a talk with you soon anyway, if you haven’t lost the wacky paste stuff. Jack, apart from seconding Shannon regarding the cybersex, uhm, thanks. You know why. Just couldn’t really tell you that time, right? Sun, congratulations. And I think I’m really out of time, damnit. Oh, Charlie, there are quite a lot of people envying you here, by the way. Good choice.
hoodiesrock: what...?
deathisnottheend: well, I really must go now. Fuck. Peace, love and please stay alive all of you. :)
Then he logged out and no one wrote a thing for almost five minutes.
runbabyrun: ............. O_O
nothingelsematters: that was strange.
docgiggles: ....... was it really....
theghostoftomjoad: figured he was. Knew too much stuff not to be. And doc, don't get cryin' on me now. Alright that we are on separate computers, but I hear you. I so hear you.
boxman: I need to find that paste now. I win! \o/
Suddenly Locke logged off, too.
carriethemuffinwoman: one moment, did we just speak with a ghost?
yodude: who has wi-fi.
material_girl: who has wi-fi.
aljazeera: but why would he congratulate with you, Charlie?
hoodiesrock: who in bloody hell knows...
nothingelsematters: I think it’s for your peculiar living arrangement.
hoodiesrock: Claire, that is so not peculiar!
yodude: dude, it is.
runbabyrun: people, my time here is finished and we were chatting in my window today. See you tomorrow at the same hour?
theghostoftomjoad: sure thing, freckles.
docgiggles: sure. What are you up to now?
runbabyrun: movie of the week. Christ, I’d rather work.
yodude: fine. Tomorrow it’s my turn for the window, right?
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, it is. Oh, I need to go, too. My sister just called.
aljazeera: see you all tomorrow then.
theghostoftomjoad: sure thing. And remember what Shannon said!
docgiggles: Sawyer, damnit! compose yourself!
theghostoftomjoad: you really want me to?
johnrambo: Rose, are we following their example?
adriannapennino: we so are.
material_girl: oh, Jin is back, too. Guess we are all going, right?
nothingelsematters: yeah, I guess we are. See you all tomorrow then!
hoodiesrock: right, bye everyone!
Suddenly there was a general logging off and Charlie shut the program down, relaxing back in his chair and shaking his head in disbelief. Now that had been the bloody strangest hour of his life, even if it had been fun. He considered calling Claire for a moment, then saw the time and decided that it was going to happen the next day, since if that sodding train wasn’t late...
Three seconds later there was a knock on his door and he smiled just slightly before going to open it.
He did and there Desmond was, backpack on his shoulders, that new light blue shirt that Charlie had totally got him when the Celtic won the Scottish cup again, the hair a bit shorter than last time Charlie traveled to Edinburgh to see him, the beard neatly cut and half a smirk on his lips.
“Hi there, brother.”
“Hi there yourself.”, he answered, letting Desmond step in and place the backpack on the ground.
“Had a nice trip?”
“You know how that train is.”
“You could just move here.”
“No way. I’m loyal to my own country.”
“And I’m bloody loyal to mine. Now just shut up, won’t you?”
He got closer and was fully prepared for the kiss that came just after, slow, long and so really delicious, especially since they hadn’t seen each other for a month, thanks to the tour and everything else. Well, he had never believed when it started on the island that it was going to last, more or less around the time when he understood that him and Claire were probably better off as friends, but it seemingly did. And, as Charlie thought while Desmond’s tongue was lightly tracing his lips, he was bloody sodding glad for it.
“So, did you do anythin’ on your first free day?”
“Had a chat on the Internet. With the others.”
“You just can’t take a phone and call ‘em, yeah?”
Charlie shrugged. He was adjusted to Desmond’s hating of computers anyway.
“Well, it was pretty fun. With a ghost, Locke and everything.”
“Ghosts? Locke?”
“Let that go. It’s a long story.”
“Aye, it looks so. And I don’t think I’d follow it decently anyway.”
“No, you probably wouldn’t. Not that I complain.”
“You bloody well shouldn’t.”
Then Desmond’s hands were on his shoulders again, they fell more or less graciously on the couch and Charlie forgot all about chat rooms for the next day, without really regretting it. Hey, real sex definitely owned cybersex all the way.
End.
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Charlie, Charlie/surprise person, mostly everyone else, Jack/Sawyer and occasional Jack/Sawyer/Sayid implied
Words: 2755, but most of it is dialogue/chatting.
Summary: Claire invites Charlie to a chatroom with the rest of the survivors.
Spoilers: goes AU from One of Us.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine. Reading this, you'll realize why.
A/N: queen
toestastegood at lostsquee asked for Charlie and the Internet. I fear that this is way too crack (and probably too stupid) for what you had in mind and I sincerely apologize for the total madness of this thing, but I had the plot and wouldn't go away. I hope you like it nonetheless and that my crack muse didn't take a false step! Though the ending should make up for any wankiness of this. Also, I know that there isn't the Internet hour in prisons and that the ending is completely arbitrary but since this is crack, I take everything as artistic license. It goes AU from One of Us because it implies that they were all rescued at a time between that episode and Catch 22. Using for 10_shakespeare, 'What case am I in?'. Title stolen from Warren Zevon. Won for best humorous fic, August 2008, and for most fantastically funny fic at the big damn fic awards of 2008 at lost_fic_awards, August 2008.While sitting in front of his laptop with a cup of hot tea, the noise from the street arriving muffled through the closed windows, Charlie stopped one second to think about how weird did that feel, for a second.
Not sitting in front of the laptop in itself; but sitting in front of the laptop in order to have a bloody chat on Skype with the rest of the rescued.
He had decided to move in Newcastle upon Tyne without any real reason; he just didn’t want to go to London and while Liam’s offer of staying in Australia was very tempting, he had reasoned that he was never going to really feel at home there. Also, he thought he needed a cut with his pre-island life, so to speak; so he had chosen a random city in his home country, where he had never been before. There, he could have lived off his settlement, but he found out he couldn’t not play music anyway and so he spent quite some time playing for free in locals. Then he managed to get a contract with a small record label (well, at least getting stranded there had had its result, right?), which had sold fairly well even if only released through independent circuits; at that point, he had left for a couple of months in order to go on a solo tour in some small venues in England and while it had been absolutely fantastic, it felt bloody good to be home.
During that whole time he had been in contact only with Claire, Hurley and one other person for sort of necessary reasons. She had moved to Los Angeles because she had found out that Jack was her half-brother or something like that and wanted to catch up on wasted time or something like that; Charlie hadn’t objected and he gone to visit her once every two months at least, even if he hadn’t seen anyone else. He was on the phone with her the other day when he had told her that he was sort of regretting not having managed to keep in touch with more people and she had started to say that he really should try to use technology and get a Skype contact. She said that once per week everyone gathered on there at one fixed hour, which for Charlie was five in the afternoon (hence the tea), to have a chat together. After ten minutes in which she kept on saying he should join them and that he would so be surprised to see what many of them were up to, Charlie gave up and said that he was going to install it. He got Claire to give him her contact (claire_littleton@yahoo.com, at least it was a normal e-mail without fancy nicknames or anything) and Hurley’s (reyes_workman@hotmail.com, which was kinda scary in Charlie’s opinion) and promised he was going to show up that afternoon.
So there he was, going on the Skype site and installing the program; when choosing his name, he wondered whether he should use his real name, but then thought about any wankers he could manage to find on the Internet and figured that a nickname was safer. After a bit of thinking, he chose hoodiesrock and added Claire to his list of contacts, finding himself quite surprised seeing that her screen name was nothingelsematters. Not really knowing how the thing worked, he just pressed contact and a window opened. He figured he could try to speak to her, right? He smiled fondly when he saw a blond baby boy as her avatar.
hoodiesrock: Claire? Is that you?
nothingelsematters: Charlie, hi! So you did it?
hoodiesrock: yeah, well, sort of. Sure. So, what should I do now? I mean...
nothingelsematters: do you have a webcam?
hoodiesrock: well, not really. Why?
nothingelsematters: pity. We could have seen each other then! Oh well, no problem. Have you added Hurley?
hoodiesrock: not yet. Is he on?
nothingelsematters: yeah, he is. There’s also... Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, Juliet, Sun, Rose, Bernard and Kate...
hoodiesrock: Kate? But she was in prison!
nothingelsematters: well, we do gather at this hour because it’s when the inmates can access the internet from the prison. We get one hour in the morning.
hoodiesrock: oh. Well, that’s fantastic.
nothingelsematters: I’m inviting you there, okay? Don’t get scared on me, though.
hoodiesrock: sure. Go ahead.
He added Hurley meanwhile, trying not to laugh out loud when he saw that his nickname was yodude; as soon as he did it though, another window opened sort of magically and he was thrown in a multiple chat with...
docgiggles, theghostoftomjoad, runbabyrun, carriethemuffinwoman, aljazeera, material_girl, adriannapennino and johnrambo.
He didn’t even have time to think about who the fuck was behind every name; suddenly he was warmly greeted and it didn’t take much to figure out. Also, he got requests of adding from ghostoftomjoad@yahoo.com, j_shephard@gmail.com, bernardnadler@gmail.com, rose_nadler@hotmail.com, sayidj@yahoo.co.uk, sunandjink@gmail.com, carriettawhite@yahoo.com and runbabyrun@hotmail.com, which made him kind of slow answering the first flood of messages.
theghostoftomjoad: look who’s joining us. Hi there midget ¬¬
hoodiesrock: Sawyer?
Using emoticons of everything?
That was highly disturbing. And apart from that, the nickname was just what he would have expected, even if he did have a question.
hoodiesrock: and since when you like Springsteen anyway?
theghostoftomjoad: it’s not like you ever bothered asking me, right?
docgiggles: Sawyer, cut it. I already know too much on the subject myself >-<. Hey, Charlie. Is everything fine?
hoodiesrock: Jack? Is that you?
What the hell was it with EMOTICONS?
docgiggles: yeah, that’d be me.
hoodiesrock: everything’s fine, thank you. But why you know too much about the subject?
docgiggles: well... ^//^
runbabyrun: because they live together and I figure Sawyer is inflicting his musical choices on Jack. Makes me almost glad to be where I am. And that I didn’t choose.
theghostoftomjoad: Freckles, your taste in music really is awful. :/
hoodiesrock: hey, Sheryl Crow isn’t that bad. Kate? How are you?
runbabyrun: hi Charlie. Well, fine enough. Considering how things are going, I might be out in two years or so. You know, good behavior. :)
hoodiesrock: well, that’s bloody great to hear! Uhm, aljazeera? Is that you, Sayid?
aljazeera: yes, Charlie. That would be me. It really is a pleasure to hear from you again.
hoodiesrock: oh, same here mate. But uhm, the name...
theghostoftomjoad: it’s because he misses me, ain’t that?
aljazeera: Sawyer, shut up.
theghostoftomjoad: aaww. Now that’s almost moving. Doc, you think he could drop here one of these days? ;)
docgiggles: Sawyer, couldn’t we have this conversation somewhere else?
aljazeera: I would be inclined to agree with Jack here.
theghostoftomjoad: fine, fine, I’ll just open another window just for you two, what about that?
carriethemuffinwoman: the conversation here does lack variety. :/
nothingelsematters: yeah, always like that when they end up talking about those arrangements.
material_girl: let them have fun.
adriannapennino: you seem to be in a good mood these days, girl.
johnrambo: of course, she’s having a baby in a month!
yodude: Charlie, dude, hi! Sorry, my mom had caught me in another chat. :)
hoodiesrock: oh, don’t worry, that’s good. How are things going there?
yodude: not bad, except for Jack, Sawyer and Sayid which seemed to have disappeared.
johnrambo: I think they’re having that chat.
adriannapennino: I second that.
yodude: dude, really? :O
adriannapennino: I think they should just leave cybersex alone and do things seriously.
johnrambo: Sayid is with that non profit organization in Iraq. I think it’s either cybersex or...
runbabyrun: Uhm, could we please let them to have cybersex as they wish?
carriethemuffinwoman: I have to agree with that. I mean, we all read what they can do that time they didn’t get private, right?
material_girl: well, I thought it wasn’t that bad.
nothingelsematters: you say it. Well, it was sort of hot if you think about it but...
Charlie had a look at the avatars, trying to find out who everyone was. As soon as he recognized a pic of a young Jin, he figured that material_girl had to be Sun. Jack had a picture of a bloke he had seen on TV once, a crazy doctor that walked with a cane and almost killed each of his patients before saving them; Sawyer had a sort of abstract painting which he thought was the cover of Springsteen's The Ghost of Tom Joad; Kate had some random flower, probably because she was from the prison’s computer; this muffin woman had a chocolate muffin but he couldn’t really place who could she be. johnrambo had, well, John Rambo, but he figured it had to be Bernard, since adriannapennino had a picture of Rose and Bernard himself. Sayid had pretty much nothing as Charlie, which made him sort of relieved.
yodude: so Charlie, how did the tour go?
hoodiesrock: well, it was a good tour. Had fun, played a while, but it’s nice to be home.
carriethemuffinwoman: you can say it.
hoodiesrock: hey, I’m really sorry, but who...
carriethemuffinwoman: I’m Juliet.
hoodiesrock: oh, right. Sorry, didn’t recognize you.
carriethemuffinwoman: no problem :)
God, now Juliet was using emoticons, too?
runbabyrun: hey, people? I’m having a request to join the conversation.
yodude: who is? I thought it was only us.
runbabyrun: here it says boxman. What do I do?
material_girl: why, say yes. I wouldn’t know who could it be but...
theghostoftomjoad: what’s happening here?
carriethemuffinwoman: about time.
nothingelsematters: where are the other two?
theghostoftomjoad: the doc here’s a bit tired I guess. I figure Al Jazeera is too...
aljazeera: absolutely not.
theghostoftomjoad: wow. You do have resistance.
boxman: there’s everyone here. Pretty good.
theghostoftomjoad: hey, who the heck are you?
Charlie suddenly had a flash of a conversation.
Oh God.
hoodiesrock: people, I think it’s Locke.
boxman: hi, Charlie. You’re pretty perceptive I have to say.
nothingelsematters: John?! But you are on the island!
boxman: oh, we found a new hatch. Completed, newly built and with wireless internet access. I tell you, it’s was sign of destiny.
docgiggles: LOCKE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
theghostoftomjoad: I knew he was going to wake up at that.
nothingelsematters: Jack, stay calm.
yodude: you really have a hatch with wireless Internet, dude?
boxman: totally. You should really see it.
aljazeera: I thought Dharma didn’t have such developed systems.
boxman: it isn’t Dharma.
material_girl: oh, please, not Dharma again...
hoodiesrock: I’d agree with her, quite much.
runbabyrun: hey, I have another request for joining.
docgiggles: what does it say?
runbabyrun: deathisnottheend.
johnrambo: well, we said yes to one, let’s say yes to two.
Charlie followed the conversation closely, noting the knife in Locke’s avatar and the peace symbol in deathisnottheend’s.
deathisnottheend: wow, pretty much everyone here. Well, guess then what I have to do is easier, since I’m on borrowed time.
aljazeera: wait a moment, who...
docgiggles: BOONE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deathisnottheend: wow, Jack, that’s so sweet of you. I wasn’t thinking that you’d recognize me so soon.
yodude: but dude, you are... just...
hoodiesrock: ... dead...?
deathisnottheend: yeah, pretty much, but you know, we have wi-fi.
boxman: Boone?! But... that’s... that’s another...
deathisnottheend: no, John, it isn’t a sign of destiny. It’s just that we had wi-fi before you did even find the trail for your Internet hatch and as I said, I’m on limited time. Would you excuse me for doing my business quickly?
nothingelsematters: yeah, sure, but...
deathisnottheend: okay. Sawyer, the shrimp guy says you don’t have to worry about him, he doesn’t blame you. Kate, Tom says hi and not to worry about him. Jack, Claire, your father says that he’s proud of you both, even if he was sort of creepy when he told me. But anyway. Hurley, Libby says hi and that you’re doing great with that dissociated diet or whatever it was. Sayid, Shan says good luck and that when you’re back from Iraq she totally wants you to quit the cybersex and go on to the real deal...
theghostoftomjoad: hey, I always said that girl had a good head, when...
deathisnottheend: okay, that’d be from the others. Regarding me... John, I think I’ll have a talk with you soon anyway, if you haven’t lost the wacky paste stuff. Jack, apart from seconding Shannon regarding the cybersex, uhm, thanks. You know why. Just couldn’t really tell you that time, right? Sun, congratulations. And I think I’m really out of time, damnit. Oh, Charlie, there are quite a lot of people envying you here, by the way. Good choice.
hoodiesrock: what...?
deathisnottheend: well, I really must go now. Fuck. Peace, love and please stay alive all of you. :)
Then he logged out and no one wrote a thing for almost five minutes.
runbabyrun: ............. O_O
nothingelsematters: that was strange.
docgiggles: ....... was it really....
theghostoftomjoad: figured he was. Knew too much stuff not to be. And doc, don't get cryin' on me now. Alright that we are on separate computers, but I hear you. I so hear you.
boxman: I need to find that paste now. I win! \o/
Suddenly Locke logged off, too.
carriethemuffinwoman: one moment, did we just speak with a ghost?
yodude: who has wi-fi.
material_girl: who has wi-fi.
aljazeera: but why would he congratulate with you, Charlie?
hoodiesrock: who in bloody hell knows...
nothingelsematters: I think it’s for your peculiar living arrangement.
hoodiesrock: Claire, that is so not peculiar!
yodude: dude, it is.
runbabyrun: people, my time here is finished and we were chatting in my window today. See you tomorrow at the same hour?
theghostoftomjoad: sure thing, freckles.
docgiggles: sure. What are you up to now?
runbabyrun: movie of the week. Christ, I’d rather work.
yodude: fine. Tomorrow it’s my turn for the window, right?
carriethemuffinwoman: yeah, it is. Oh, I need to go, too. My sister just called.
aljazeera: see you all tomorrow then.
theghostoftomjoad: sure thing. And remember what Shannon said!
docgiggles: Sawyer, damnit! compose yourself!
theghostoftomjoad: you really want me to?
johnrambo: Rose, are we following their example?
adriannapennino: we so are.
material_girl: oh, Jin is back, too. Guess we are all going, right?
nothingelsematters: yeah, I guess we are. See you all tomorrow then!
hoodiesrock: right, bye everyone!
Suddenly there was a general logging off and Charlie shut the program down, relaxing back in his chair and shaking his head in disbelief. Now that had been the bloody strangest hour of his life, even if it had been fun. He considered calling Claire for a moment, then saw the time and decided that it was going to happen the next day, since if that sodding train wasn’t late...
Three seconds later there was a knock on his door and he smiled just slightly before going to open it.
He did and there Desmond was, backpack on his shoulders, that new light blue shirt that Charlie had totally got him when the Celtic won the Scottish cup again, the hair a bit shorter than last time Charlie traveled to Edinburgh to see him, the beard neatly cut and half a smirk on his lips.
“Hi there, brother.”
“Hi there yourself.”, he answered, letting Desmond step in and place the backpack on the ground.
“Had a nice trip?”
“You know how that train is.”
“You could just move here.”
“No way. I’m loyal to my own country.”
“And I’m bloody loyal to mine. Now just shut up, won’t you?”
He got closer and was fully prepared for the kiss that came just after, slow, long and so really delicious, especially since they hadn’t seen each other for a month, thanks to the tour and everything else. Well, he had never believed when it started on the island that it was going to last, more or less around the time when he understood that him and Claire were probably better off as friends, but it seemingly did. And, as Charlie thought while Desmond’s tongue was lightly tracing his lips, he was bloody sodding glad for it.
“So, did you do anythin’ on your first free day?”
“Had a chat on the Internet. With the others.”
“You just can’t take a phone and call ‘em, yeah?”
Charlie shrugged. He was adjusted to Desmond’s hating of computers anyway.
“Well, it was pretty fun. With a ghost, Locke and everything.”
“Ghosts? Locke?”
“Let that go. It’s a long story.”
“Aye, it looks so. And I don’t think I’d follow it decently anyway.”
“No, you probably wouldn’t. Not that I complain.”
“You bloody well shouldn’t.”
Then Desmond’s hands were on his shoulders again, they fell more or less graciously on the couch and Charlie forgot all about chat rooms for the next day, without really regretting it. Hey, real sex definitely owned cybersex all the way.
End.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2008-07-09 11:29 am (UTC)You know, things are better and make more sense in your 'crack' universe - Charlie living, Claire having Aaron, Sun/Jin together with their newborn, Juliet back with her sister, Kate actually serving some time for 1st degree murder, etc. I'd let her out early for good behaviour too. This world is reasonable.
LOL!! I totally share Charlie's fear of chatrooms and emoticon. They scare me. I loved all the funny little touches that you added. Whoever knew Sawyer was a Springsteen fan and Juliet loved muffins?
The slashy cybersex was hilarious. Sayid's net voice was so dry humoured and in character. I can imagine he's the sort that wouldn't bother with an avi either.
I was giggling my head off when Locke tuned in from an island hatch (and Jack's reaction!) I was even more delighted when Boone connected to them from the beyond with messages from his fellow ghosts. Boone has wi-fi? Hehe. Awesome!
The ending was sheer heaven! Desmond returns from a backpacking holiday around Scotland with a new blue shirt and then has sex with Charlie on the couch?! This is the best universe ever!
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Date: 2008-07-09 11:37 am (UTC)Crack is always more reasonable than canon. And since it's exactly the best excuse to send canon to hell and do whatever I want without justifying it, I make it reasonable ;) that thing took me sort of three hours to get down but as soon as I got to the dialogue it just came. I love my fingers when they cooperate.
Sawyer loving Springsteen is actually my fanom and I want to inflict it, but since at least it's canon that he reads Steinbeck in this case maybe I haven't stretched it out too much ;)
Much glad that you also liked the net-Sayid. It's actually trickier to get them across without them being physically present but at least he cooperated. And wi-fi!beyond death!Boone was too good to let it pass. I'm resigned, I can't do without having him somewhere. Glad also that Locke's intrusion worked!
And yeah, Desmond has a new blue shirt and they have sex, indeed ;) I love my universe, I so do. Thank you so much, I'm really glad you liked it!
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Date: 2008-07-09 03:42 pm (UTC)loved all the unexpected persons showing up in the chatroom! and of course especially Des at the end... :D
and omfg the cybersex lol! awesome :D
i really heard each voice saying the things in your chat, especially Sayid! it fit so well :)
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Date: 2008-07-09 05:53 pm (UTC)thanks so much again, I'm really glad you liked it!
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Date: 2008-07-09 03:55 pm (UTC)I love the usernames you chose. And rofl for John finding the new hatch. Great.
And of course you had to have Boone into this. Not that I complain...
Awesome fic.
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Date: 2008-07-09 05:52 pm (UTC)And yeah, with me it's a surprise if Boone isn't there I guess ;) thanks again, I'm really glad you liked it!
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Date: 2008-07-09 05:30 pm (UTC)Firstly? I grinned way too much when I saw that Charlie was living in Newcastle Upon Tyne - all of my mother's side of the family comes from that area so I used to have to visit there at least once a year. Poor Charlie - he'd better be careful or he'll wind up catching a Geordie accent!
I completely adore the idea of Charlie and Claire as BFFs. I've never been a big fan of the romance between the two of them but I think they'd be such good friends. They're completely cute here. Claire seems so happy as well! Everyone does, actually. And that is a sign of an awesome AU!
Like everyone's said, Sayid was awesome. I loved his more proper typing, especially as it makes me think of him being able to type way faster than everyone else. Because, y'know, he totally could.
And, see, now my notes have dissolved into madness: loved Jack having a House avatar (he'd totally worship House - the one doctor in the world with a worse bedside manner than him!), and Jack's reactions to Locke and Boone arriving just made me laugh all over again remembering them to write this sentence! Locke using "\o/" is made of win, and Desmond hating computers is so justified!
And Desmond... Ah, you know me so well! I'm so in love with adorable established relationships, and Charlie and Desmond travelling to see each other while living in different places is totally my canon for the two of them. They're just so... so... gjahgjlsgdh!
-cough- Yes, you've reduced me to keyboard-bashing. -shakes fist-
AND you got a Springsteen reference in! I had to grin at that - I'm not a fan (um... will you throw stones at me if I admit that I couldn't name a single song by him? :/) but you and him are completely linked in my mind now.
Over all, just... Thank you! Thank you! And I think I'll stop rambling by closing this with another keyboard bash...
fjsdgbjkgbshbfsrguigfbhjbzjnb aeqw;ek!!!!!
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Date: 2008-07-09 05:50 pm (UTC)Wow, I'm really so relieved you liked it! It was completely weird, as long as I went on I was more like 'WTF am I writing', but knowing it worked for you is completely awesome. Heee, AUs are love and Charlie and Claire would totally work better as BFFs in my very humble opinion.
Sayid would totally type more properly and being totally faster than the others while doing it. He so completely would, and it makes me flail.
Jack would completely be a House fanatic!
the one doctor in the world with a worse bedside manner than him!
LOL that's true! Which is why I found the thing too amusing not to pass. Locke would totally use that emoticon -nod- and yeah, I figure that poor Des has had enough of computers already.
I acknowledge that I sort of was inspired by your canon stuff but hey, they're so completely cute. And if that's your OTP I'll sure go and sneak it in ;) \o/ -> on the keyboard smashing *pats herself*
And I totally won't throw stones at you! It's just that I have a fixation which says that Sawyer shares my literary tastes (proven because he reads Steinbeck) and therefore likes the music I like (therefore Springsteen), but I have to say that being associated with both Bruce and Boone is something that I surely don't pass on!
Smash all you like, I'm so really happy you liked this! *bows again grinning*
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Date: 2008-07-09 06:01 pm (UTC)Y'know what the totally weird thing is? I think that Sawyer being a Springsteen fan has been absorbed into my personal canon by now! Your influence, I'm sure!
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Date: 2008-07-09 06:03 pm (UTC)I think that Sawyer being a Springsteen fan has been absorbed into my personal canon by now!
\O/ YAY! I love my evil powers indeed when I do this ;)
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Date: 2008-07-09 05:59 pm (UTC)Excuse me butting in I just wanted to say I really agree with you on this issue. I loved Charlie's platonic friendship with Claire in S1 and never really wanted it to develop into a romance. I felt the same about Faraday and Charlotte in S4. Can't guys and girls just be friends occassionally?
If Charlie had lived I think I'd have prefered him and Claire as BFFs with Charlie still having a close bond with Turniphead.
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Date: 2008-07-09 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-09 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-09 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-09 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-09 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 02:33 am (UTC)So awesome!
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Date: 2008-07-10 07:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 04:23 am (UTC)You had me giggling like an idiot from the word go. Great story!
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Date: 2008-07-10 07:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 07:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 05:12 am (UTC)I love the idea of the cybersex threesome occurring simultaneously and how that doesn't freak Charlie out but the use of emoticons does. The screen names were awesome. I started laughing at the Reyes_Workman and then pretty much lost it every time a new on popped up. Oh Locke and hatch wifi! That was an awesome touch, only topped by Ghost Boone and his chat room from the beyond on borrowed time.
Sadly, I can inform you there is internet in at least one prison where I knew someone. A lot of websites are blocked (possibly chats) and the use is heavily supervised but inmates can use them for research and online education programs. The idea that Kate only had a generic icon was really touching.
I kept wondering where Desmond was and then BANG! There he was! Mmmmmm.
I'll join in the choir preaching your genius and speed. You may not be today's luau Queen, but you are the Queen of Crack!
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Date: 2008-07-10 07:22 am (UTC)Emoticons do freak me out sometimes, especially when people I wouldn't suspect use those. And Sawyer or Jack using an emoticon would probably surprise me more than them having a cyberthreesome, which isn't actually one thing I'd pass on witnessing ;) doesn't reyes_workman just sound good? Glad the hatch and the undead wi-fi worked! I couldn't resist. Hey, it's crack, when do I ever get the chance?
A lot of websites are blocked (possibly chats) and the use is heavily supervised but inmates can use them for research and online education programs.
That's what I had sort of figured out. I mean, I doubt that when you are in prison you can go and have a chat like drinking a glass of water, but I figured that if one could, it was going to be more or less like a random internet point where you get the generic icon. I just hope it wasn't too insensitive but I wanted Kate in for once.
I do never skip on Desmond, especially seeing who the Queen was! It's just that if there's a thing I couldn't see him doing is using a chatroom or a computer or anything remotely resembling a keyboard. I mean, he should be realistically traumatized ;)
I'm really so glad you liked this one, thank you so much! ♥
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Date: 2008-07-10 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-10 07:58 pm (UTC)And God, I'm an idiot. I totally missed your birthday, sorry! I hope you had a good one ;)
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Date: 2008-07-10 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-13 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-14 02:36 am (UTC)Pics:
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=85877&fullsize=1
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=94930&fullsize=1
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=94933&fullsize=1
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=85160&fullsize=1
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=85170&fullsize=1
http://gallery.lost-media.com/displayimage.php?pid=89556&fullsize=1
Song quotes:
I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,
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Date: 2008-07-10 06:28 pm (UTC)deathisnottheend: yeah, pretty much, but you know, we have wi-fi.
Lmao FTW XD
Brilliant! And I loved all the user names.
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Date: 2008-07-10 07:59 pm (UTC)thank you, glad you liked it!!
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Date: 2008-07-10 11:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 07:08 am (UTC)Thanks, I'm really glad you liked it!
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Date: 2008-07-12 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-14 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-15 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 08:30 am (UTC)*giggles insanely*
I.LOVE.YOUR.BRAIN!
And doc, don't get cryin' on me now. Alright that we are on separate computers, but I hear you.
Lol&Aww. ♥
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Date: 2008-07-17 06:00 pm (UTC)Thanks, glad you got a kick out of this one! ♥ ;)
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Date: 2008-07-17 09:42 am (UTC)In particular I loved the idea of the Losties on the internet, in a chat room, using freakin' emoticons, for god's sake. Lordy, that cracked me up. Also, I loved their usernames - great job thinking those up! And Jack, Sawyer and Sayid having cybersex - fantastic! And ghost!Boone showing up with his awesome message!
So much love for this fic!
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Date: 2008-07-17 06:02 pm (UTC)Hee, it was just too good. As soon as I read Charlie + internet I had the mental chatroom image and totally had to go for it. Emoticons -> evil, in much cases ;) I got a kick out of figuring the usernames. And I'd surely want a webcam to witness that cybersex!! Of course I'm really glad that the ghost wi-fi worked. I can't help it ;) thanks so much again, I'm really glad you liked this one!
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Date: 2008-07-18 09:29 pm (UTC)Crack!Fics are the best of them all ;)
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Date: 2008-07-18 10:25 pm (UTC)