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janie_tangerineTitle: I've Been Everywhere 5/14
Rating: PG-13 for this part, will reach NC17 overall
Characters/Pairings for this part: Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Claire; Sawyer/Kate, implied Charlie/Claire.
Word counting: 4359 this part, around 50000 overall.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine and all the folk songs used here are not mine. The places really exist and I've never been there.
Summary: Sawyer is a rambling musician during the Dust Bowl, Jack a former L.A. doctor traveling with him.
Thanks to:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elliotsmelliot for the great beta job for which I can't be grateful enough and to fosfomifira for the title. I'd still be searching for one otherwise.
A/N: the song referenced at the end is Dust Bowl Refugees by Woody Guthrie.
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part XIV
Rating: PG-13 for this part, will reach NC17 overall
Characters/Pairings for this part: Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Claire; Sawyer/Kate, implied Charlie/Claire.
Word counting: 4359 this part, around 50000 overall.
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine and all the folk songs used here are not mine. The places really exist and I've never been there.
Summary: Sawyer is a rambling musician during the Dust Bowl, Jack a former L.A. doctor traveling with him.
Thanks to:
elliotsmelliot for the great beta job for which I can't be grateful enough and to fosfomifira for the title. I'd still be searching for one otherwise.A/N: the song referenced at the end is Dust Bowl Refugees by Woody Guthrie.
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part XIV
4. Dust Bowl Refugees
Topeka isn’t really anything special, or so Sawyer thinks; sure, it’s a big city, but that’s it. Especially since that dust storm last year, people just pass through it rather than live there. They don’t stop if not for a night. He’s pretty sorry that the trains don’t arrive where they’re heading, since the expression on Jack’s face during the whole of that trip was something priceless. It was just the face of one sure that some inspector was going to find them; Sawyer needs to explain to him that if he’ll ever find any inspector on trains in this zone, it’ll be on trains going West.
As they leave Topeka on one of Sawyer’s usual back roads, Jack turns to him.
“Remind me where is that we’re going now? I mean, I know, Iowa, but where and to see who?”
“Place’s called Hamburg. And it’s pretty much like Granada.”
“Woah, now that’s alluring.”
“Well, it’s better than that. There’s this nice local, there’s this girl serving there who had asked me months ago if I could do her a favor and I sort of done that but never was around in these parts. And well, y’know, that’s a bit outta the dust zone. Not that there ain’t any, but there’s less than ‘round here and I figured three days in... fresh air could do good.”
“Well, you aren’t that wrong. Fine, then let’s go. And just for the record, are you involved with this girl serving there?”
“Involved? Well, well, Doc, depends on what you mean by involved. She ain’t my girlfriend and sure as hell there ain’t many feelings of the It Happened One Night kind.”
“But I’m betting you made the walls of Jericho topple, didn’t you?”
“Well, I never said there wasn’t nothin’, right?” he answers winking at Jack. He knows perfectly how things are between him and Kate and anyway, they couldn’t change. He doesn’t want another woman. He likes his life as it is and he doesn’t want to risk anything. She doesn’t want to leave that place and he doesn’t want to stay; he’s sure that one day it’ll be over and it probably won’t be nice, but until now, why not? And anyway, he has had that information Kate asked him last time for a while and it’s time to spill it out. And it looks like Jack is picking some decent sense of humor along the way.
Hamburg is not that far, really; they catch a ride from a guy that was going to Illinois and that leaves them on the Missouri/Iowa border; Hamburg is just a few miles from there, in a strategic corner, last city in that county that stands both near the Nebraska border and near the Missouri one, not to talk about the Kansas one. That’s why, while it’s small, it’s pretty crowded; anyone wanting to go to Kansas from Iowa passes from there anyway.
The air is much cleaner than it was in Kansas or Colorado; sure, there’s dust rolling around, but nothing compared to what they’ve just got out of. Sawyer doesn’t fool himself, he knows he’s gonna head back in there soon, but it’s nice to, well, breathe, meanwhile.
As the sun slowly sets, they get closer to a house that sports the sign Austen’s, Sawyer raises an eyebrow.
“What’s that?”
“Last time I checked, she didn’t own the place.”
He climbs up on the porch and pushes the door; it’s exactly as he remembers. A pretty big room, a counter at the end of it, six or seven tables, walls painted in light green, floor clean but not shining, either. A radio on the counter blasts KMA, he thinks the song is Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, the reception perfect; after all, it broadcasts from Shenandoah near here. Shenandoah isn’t really that bad of a place; it’s a pity that he has been there just once or twice because he had liked it.
There are at least two things that catch him by surprise, though; the first is a blonde girl (new probably) taking money from a customer sitting at a table and the second is a child’s crying in the background. The blonde girl excuses herself and runs to the back room; Kate, who had her back turned until then, looks his way and raises her hand to him.
He comes closer, with Jack coming a bit behind him; the customer crosses his way as he gets out. Kate looks like she did last time, some months ago; her lean and slender frame covered in a light green men’s shirt, heavy jeans below, long dark hair falling over her shoulders and freckles scattered all over her pale skin.
“James.”
“Freckles. Did the old man kick the bucket?”
“You are refined. Yeah, six months ago. Left me the place, been getting along.”
“Got yourself some help, I see,” he remarks as he takes a look at the back room, where the blonde girl is trying to calm a baby with her same blond hair in her arms.
“Well, she works hard. Came here two or three months ago searching for work, I couldn’t really say no.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Sawyer is suddenly aware of Jack’s presence next to him.
“Freckles, that’s Jack. Doc, she’s Kate, former number one on the Most Wanted List in Iowa.”
Kate shakes Jack’s hand as she eyes Sawyer badly. “Don’t mind him. I was in jail, but my reward was never high. Hope it ain’t a problem.”
Jack shakes his head.“Surely it isn’t.”
“Anyway, I know what you wanted to know last time,” Sawyer says as Jack senses that it’s not really his business and moves to the other side of the counter, where the nice, blonde girl is back, and the baby seemingly asleep.
--
Jack had figured that it was private information and nothing he really wanted to know; it felt natural to drift away. He meets the girl’s smile and asks her for a glass of water, his throat feels sore; she nods and he observes her better. She can’t be older than twenty or twenty two; she has a lovely form, not exactly slim but hey, since the baby is hers or so he figures it’d be just normal. Her wide blue eyes have some kind of glow to them even though she looks positively tired.
“Hard day?” he asks, just in order to break the ice.
“You bet. But it’s fine. Pretty much. Could be worse, y’know?”
Her voice is light, her tone cheerful; he sincerely admires it.
“What’s his name?” he asks suddenly, not really knowing why.
“The baby? Aaron. I’m Claire, by the way.”
“I’m Jack,” he answers, asking himself why as soon as she told her name he had felt something not being quite right with it. Well, not with the name, but with the fact that it sounds familiar even if he can’t recall knowing anyone named Claire right now. He drinks his water; she stays where she is, since there aren’t any customers to serve at the moment.
“Nice to meet you, then. Are you a musician, too?”
He shakes his head, half laughing.
“Hardly. No, I’m a doctor. Me and him... well, it happened that we are sort of going in the same direction.”
“Really? Where?”
“I don’t have an idea.”
“God, how do I understand you.”
“Why?”
“Well, I... I ain’t from here. I’m from Idaho. I had this nice boyfriend there and we were plannin’ on settling down and ev’rything, but his parents died and he had to leave. Then he told me not to wait for him if I found somethin’ better. I... well, I became involved with this other guy that seemed kind and everythin’. I lived with him ‘cause my parents are dead and his were, too, but then as soon as I... as I fell pregnant he just left.”
Jack nods, thinking what a jerk and he guessed his face showed it, since she laughs heartily.
“Thanks for the concern. Anyway, I had to leave. Worked ‘round until I could... y’know, hide it. Then I found this one farm where they needed a maid and they kept me in ‘til I had the baby, but then I had to go. Was near here and while we were passing, I wanted to go to Kansas, I saw that there was help needed her and... well, here I am. It’s good. It’s nice. I get to work and people don’t mind about Aaron. Sometimes I wish Charlie was here, though, but he was a musician mostly, I doubt we could ever pull enough money together for...”
Jack had been sort of wondering how trustful was this girl, since she had kind of spilled him the story of her life, when he heard the name and it just clicked.
“Wait a second. You said your name is Claire, you’re from Idaho and your boyfriend’s name was Charlie and he’s a musician?”
“Yeah, but...”
“Was the guy English?”
“Yeah, but...”
It’s way too clear in Jack’s eyes now. He remembers Sawyer talking with that kid with the guitar at Juliet’s inn weeks ago; his name was Charlie or so Jack remembers overhearing He was English even though he came from Idaho and he’s pretty sure his girlfriend’s name was Claire. Or well, it was the guitar’s name, but since he mentioned a girlfriend...
Well, only one way to be sure. He turns and sees Kate nodding at Sawyer; maybe their talk is over.
“Sawyer? Can you come here a second?” he asks, his voice loud enough for both of them to hear.
--
“So, what did you find?”
Sawyer takes a paper tissue from the counter and turns it in his hands.
“If your ma’s name’s Dianne Janssen and she’s a waitress for a livin’, she owns a diner up in Rapid City. You said she might’ve gone there, so I went and took a look.”
“How is she?”
“Seemed pretty well off to me.”
“Did you ask her?”
“Yeah. Said she didn’t even want to know where you were.”
Kate nods, biting her lip. “Fine. I knew that anyway.”
“But sorry, weren’t you in jail ‘cause of...”
“James, I don’t wanna talk about jail. What about the rest?”
“Sam Austen, huh? Well, he was pretty hard to track. But I know one guy who owns this bar who knows this other guy who owns one in Washington and there’s this other military guy who always goes there, so I had him askin’.”
“And...?”
“He’s in Europe. Someplace like Germany or somethin’. Long diplomatic mission anyway, shouldn’t be back ‘fore two or three years.”
Kate nods again and starts drying a couple of wet glasses; Sawyer is about to say something when Jack calls him and he goes to the other side of the counter.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Listen, that kid who was playing with you that night at Juliet’s...”
“The English one with the guitar named after his girlfriend?”
“Yeah, that one. What was his name and where did he come from? And what was the guitar’s name?”
“Woah, that’s a lot of information to remember. Think ‘twas Charlie and he was from someplace with an I... not Indiana, what...”
“Idaho?”
“Yeah, Idaho. And the guitar was Claire. Why?”
“Because she’s his girlfriend.”
--
“What?”
Jack laughs as Sawyer and Claire turn to him yelling exactly the same word in his face, loud enough to cause some grumbling from the child in the other room. Claire barely acknowledges it and keeps on looking from Jack to Sawyer to Jack while Kate, after seeing that this isn’t really the day where customers come in numbers, goes to the back room trying to calm the baby. In a second it becomes clear that she isn’t being successful, but Claire is still staring at Jack like he had just said that she had a distant relative that left her a million dollars in her will and Sawyer is looking at him like he’s just gone mad before he realizes the situation fully.
“Wait a moment, Doc, you’re actually sayin’ she is that Claire?”
“Well, how many Claires from Idaho can have an English musician boyfriend named Charlie?”
Sawyer shrugs. “Well, you got a point.”
“You... you met him?”
“Yeah, sure we did. Normal height guy, taller than you and smaller than me, blond hair, nice smile, all hyper and whatnot, what was the surname... Pace?”
“Oh, God, yes! That’s him! Tell me, he’s alright? What’s he doin’?”
The poor girl seems completely changed, her eyes wild with excitement, a couple of tears streaming down, her hands trembling; but before Sawyer can say a thing, another cry from the back room’s direction prompts her to excuse himself. She comes back a minute later, holding up the baby in her arms as Kate comes standing near her, in front of Jack.
“Well, he’s playin’. As I do I guess. I mean, we go ‘round and hope to get enough money to pay for our dinner. But he looked fine. Well, I dunno, I didn’t know him when you did, but he looked pretty healthy if you want my opinion.”
“And mine, too,” Jack adds.
“See, we also got the resident doctor agreein’ with me. Anyway, named his guitar after you.”
“Oh God... that... I mean, he still thinks about me then...”
“Mamacita, was pretty much clear all over the place.”
She nods as she holds the baby closer, her hand absently stroking the soft blond hair.
“Yeah but... no, I guess I couldn’t.”
“What?”
“Hey, it’s not just me now.” She sniffs a bit after she says it, then shakes her head. Kate comes closer too the door, takes a look at the road. Then shrugs and bolts it.
“What are you doin’?”
“If no one’s showed up yet, no one’s gonna show now. Guess we could all use some rest, right?”
Claire nods, taking a handkerchief from her pocket and wiping her eyes. She excuses herself and walks up the stairs, the baby still crying softly. There’s a silence then, a pretty long one that Kate breaks first, taking a key from a small cupboard behind her.
“So, James, are we having the same place as always?”
“Same place as always, Freckles.”
“Fine. You... you are Jack, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Okay. This is for room two up there. It’s the first on the right.”
“Perfect. Listen, how much do I owe...”
“Shut up. He won’t pay nothin’ and since you’re traveling together it’d be just unfair. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway.”
Jack nods and catches Sawyer looking at Kate from the corner of his eye; he catches the drill and after asking her for another glass of water in order to save appearances, he heads upstairs. If Sawyer thinks Jack’s eyes haven’t barely caught his hand opening the last two buttons of Kate’s shirt and his fingers trailing over her stomach, he’s wrong.
--
He gives up on sleeping after maybe two or three hours. The bed isn’t that uncomfortable, but he had been turning restlessly since he closed his eyes first; he stopped counting at somewhere between eight thousand and nine thousand and he just feels restless.
Jack stands up and puts on his shoes without tying them; he doesn’t bother with the coat and regrets it as soon as he steps out of his room, but it’s too late and he doesn’t feel like retreating it. He walks to the end of the corridor, noticing a door that leads to a balcony on his left; he’s already out when he notices Kate leaning over the side, wearing a heavy white nightgown, her dark hair falling unruly over her shoulders and slightly moving in the light breeze. He guesses she hasn’t dressed because the only thing they can see is the back of the house and the sprawl of empty land, maybe a couple houses that he can see in the distance. But they look long inhabitated.
“Are you another insomniac?”
Her voice startles him, but he shrugs as he places his elbows on the rail.
“Not lately. But I used to be.”
“So you had a relapse?”
“Let’s say that. You, too?”
“No, always been like that. Since jail.”
Jack nods and doesn’t say anything as his eyes roam across the landscape.
“You haven’t asked anything.”
“About what?”
“Anytime I mention jail, everyone wants to know something.”
Jack nods and doesn’t look at her as he speaks. “Well, I figure everyone out there has... I don’t know, a second chance? Looks like you’re making good use of yours, so why should I want to know?”
“You’re right, though you’re the first one saying something like this. You’re working some second chance for yourself?”
“I think I’m still figuring it out.”
“Ain’t it a bit late? I mean, this... this has been going on for... six years? Seven? Whatever, it wasn’t like things were good before it, makes no difference. You should have figured it out then.”
“You got a point, but... well, it just crashed down upon me last year.”
He doesn’t feel like sharing it just now; he realizes he had told Sawyer without so many quibbles, but then, well, after he heard him singing that song he was sure he would have understood. He had told Boone, too, but then again, he had seemed to understand at once. It’s not like Kate wouldn’t, but since he doesn’t think that hearing her story would change much, he doesn’t see why he should share his. She nods, her lips slightly parted in a smile, swollen and pink in the night chill. Jack notices a red bite on her shoulder. He thinks about the last time he was with a woman. Probably Sarah still, even if by the end it was clear that there wasn’t much to it. Well, not exactly. There was this one hooker in Reno after Sarah left for home and he stayed behind with fifty dollars and his divorce papers, but he doesn’t like to think about it.
He wonders for a second what would happen if he kissed Kate now. A strange and sudden urge appears and he feels his stomach tied in a knot. It goes away as fast as it came. He couldn’t do that. He just couldn’t.
“I guess that you’re in... this crazy trip of his to figure that out?”
Jack smiles at her as they both laugh.
“Well, let’s say I am. I mean, it just happened. I think... well, I had no place to go really, he proposed one, I figured why not and so we went. Maybe I was supposed to stop there but then he didn’t say I should and I felt like going on and here I am. I... I really don’t have an idea of what I’m doing, but feels better than the... nothing I did before.”
Kate nods and to Jack it seems like she’s remembering something; but he doesn’t want to know whether her and Sawyer had some conversation including him as a subject. He looks at her better, her freckles even more noticeable on her pale skin in the moonlight.
“This isn’t a bad place,” he throws out as the silence becomes unbearable.
“Yeah, there’s worse around. Much worse. I think you’re wondering why he doesn’t stay, aren’t you?”
“Sort of.”
“I’m done with men. Well, until a certain point. And he’s done with women. Until that certain point. I just... guess it wouldn’t be my place to tell you, but if you stick long enough he will himself. So it’s fine when he comes but that’s it.”
“Like... a mutual exchange of favors?”
“Let’s put it like that.”
Jack nods and suddenly he shivers. She notices it, a bit amused.
“You’re cold?”
“Guess I am. I guess you’re adjusted.”
“I was born here, ‘course I’m adjusted. Well, if you want something to warm you up, there’s whiskey downstairs. You can serve yourself. I think I’ll go back to bed.”
“Good idea. Well, then... thanks. I’ll see.”
“Not a problem.”
She’s gone in ten seconds, like a white ghost moving gently in the corridor; Jack thinks about her offer for a second, but shakes his head. Whiskey before trying to sleep isn’t that good of an idea.
--
Sawyer doesn’t really blink once when he sees that Kate is gone as he wakes up; it happens most of the times. Girl’s really insomniac, he muses as he stands up, too. He knows he won’t get any sleep for a while, might search for her as well.
He retreats from the balcony as soon as he sees her and the doc talking; he should have figured that he’d be as insomniac as her. He wonders whether he should fix himself a drink downstairs when he hears some noise coming from another door and a sweet, soothing voice humming some lullaby he has heard around. Well well well, he figures no one’s really sleeping tonight. He knocks, Claire says to come in.
“Everything fine?” he asks as he closes the door.
She tucks the baby into the bed next to her and smiles at him; her cheeks redden suddenly when she realizes that her breast is half showing.
“Sorry. Oh, just, I’m...”
“Don’t worry, Mamacita. Nothin’ I ain’t seen already.”
“Why, you got a child, too?”
Sawyer feels a lump forming in his throat then; the question was totally innocent but he just has a block whenever he thinks about Clementine. He told Kate about Cass, but he never told anyone about her. It still hurts to much.
“Yeah,” he lies then, as smoothly as he remembers being able to lie, the ability he had from all that time ago suddenly kicking back in. “But I ain’t seen her in a long while. I still send money home, though.”
Claire nods in understanding and Sawyer doesn’t feel that proud; but he just can’t share it. Not with someone who has just had a baby. He can’t and he won’t.
“What’s her name?”
“Clementine,” he answers straight. He doesn’t need to lie about that.
“Like the song?”
“Well, that’s my job for a reason. You got yours from the Bible?”
“You read that?”
“I read a lot of stuff, Mamacita.”
“Well, also. But... well, is because my gran always used to say I should give my baby an important name when I had one. There was this... this babies’ names book ‘round the house and Aaron is the first. I figured it was important enough, right?”
Sawyer sits on a chair near there, figuring that yeah, it’s enough. He just hopes the kid has it better than his own had.
“Listen, if I ever meet again that boyfriend of yours should I tell him you’re here?”
“I guess... well, yeah, but also tell him all the rest. I... if he’s not okay with... everything I guess, that’s fine. I get that, really.”
He thinks she’d like it better if he was okay with it, since she’s sniffing a bit, but Sawyer can’t picture that kid not being okay with it. He just didn’t look like the type. And he was head over heels for her anyway.
“Well, guess I’ll leave you to get some sleep. I figure you don’t get that for more than two hours in a row.”
“No, I don’t. Thanks and goodnight.”
Sawyer nods and leaves the room, going to Kate’s; she’s back already, the gown as white as the sheets in the pale moonlight.
“Insomnia kicks again, Freckles?”
“Nope. The baby woke me up and I went downstairs to get me something to drink. You?”
“Had a talk with the mom,” he answers knowing that she never went downstairs. But he’ll be surprised the day she tells him the truth, even though she knows he wouldn’t care less if she told him she was talking with the doc. He just shakes it off, puts his trousers and his shirt away and climbs back into the bed. He feels the warmth of her skin against his soon after and figures it’s fine as it is.
--
“So, I’ll be telling him if I meet him. Okay?”
“Sure. Fine. Thank you so much.”
Sawyer shakes Claire’s hand; he already spoke to Kate before and now he’s waiting for Jack just a bit further on up the road. Jack looks at Kate, who stands in front of him, her hair tied back into a ponytail, dressed as the day before. “Well, good luck.”
“Good luck to you, too. I hope you figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out.”
“Don’t I know it.”
He leaves then, waving at Claire; then joins Sawyer and they don’t talk until they’re well out of distance.
“So, what ‘bout Freckles?”
“What about her?”
“What did you think?”
“That she has clearer ideas than I have.”
“Doesn’t take much for it.”
“Listen, I was... talking with her yesterday night. You... don’t mind? Or...”
“Doc, I don’t give a damn. Walls of Jericho or not, we ain’t exclusive, you know.”
Jack blushes and looks outraged; Sawyer just gives him a shove on his shoulder.
“Christ, I wasn’t implying anything. You burn easily.”
“It’s a long story.”
“Yeah, guess it is. Well, we got two choices now. Or three.”
“Like what?”
“Kansas again, Missouri or Nebraska.”
“You got any particular place you’d like to go?”
Sawyer shrugs, seemingly thinking about it.
“Well, I ain’t got a thing to do East. Hell, I really don’t wanna go East at all.”
“Okay. Fine. Since we’ve already been to Kansas and if you want to go west Missouri isn’t really a choice...”
“Then Nebraska it is. Right into the dust, huh?”
“I guess you can’t stay far from it for long.”
“Why, can’t you?”
“Well, I’d rather do without.”
“Oh, just cut it. You get some more of it and then you’re a dust bowl refugee as all of us.”
“Yeah, sure, and this is an old, hot, dusty and neverending highway.”
“You actually know that song?”
”Well, I’ve been around, too.”
And then he follows Sawyer and they just go.
TBC
Topeka isn’t really anything special, or so Sawyer thinks; sure, it’s a big city, but that’s it. Especially since that dust storm last year, people just pass through it rather than live there. They don’t stop if not for a night. He’s pretty sorry that the trains don’t arrive where they’re heading, since the expression on Jack’s face during the whole of that trip was something priceless. It was just the face of one sure that some inspector was going to find them; Sawyer needs to explain to him that if he’ll ever find any inspector on trains in this zone, it’ll be on trains going West.
As they leave Topeka on one of Sawyer’s usual back roads, Jack turns to him.
“Remind me where is that we’re going now? I mean, I know, Iowa, but where and to see who?”
“Place’s called Hamburg. And it’s pretty much like Granada.”
“Woah, now that’s alluring.”
“Well, it’s better than that. There’s this nice local, there’s this girl serving there who had asked me months ago if I could do her a favor and I sort of done that but never was around in these parts. And well, y’know, that’s a bit outta the dust zone. Not that there ain’t any, but there’s less than ‘round here and I figured three days in... fresh air could do good.”
“Well, you aren’t that wrong. Fine, then let’s go. And just for the record, are you involved with this girl serving there?”
“Involved? Well, well, Doc, depends on what you mean by involved. She ain’t my girlfriend and sure as hell there ain’t many feelings of the It Happened One Night kind.”
“But I’m betting you made the walls of Jericho topple, didn’t you?”
“Well, I never said there wasn’t nothin’, right?” he answers winking at Jack. He knows perfectly how things are between him and Kate and anyway, they couldn’t change. He doesn’t want another woman. He likes his life as it is and he doesn’t want to risk anything. She doesn’t want to leave that place and he doesn’t want to stay; he’s sure that one day it’ll be over and it probably won’t be nice, but until now, why not? And anyway, he has had that information Kate asked him last time for a while and it’s time to spill it out. And it looks like Jack is picking some decent sense of humor along the way.
Hamburg is not that far, really; they catch a ride from a guy that was going to Illinois and that leaves them on the Missouri/Iowa border; Hamburg is just a few miles from there, in a strategic corner, last city in that county that stands both near the Nebraska border and near the Missouri one, not to talk about the Kansas one. That’s why, while it’s small, it’s pretty crowded; anyone wanting to go to Kansas from Iowa passes from there anyway.
The air is much cleaner than it was in Kansas or Colorado; sure, there’s dust rolling around, but nothing compared to what they’ve just got out of. Sawyer doesn’t fool himself, he knows he’s gonna head back in there soon, but it’s nice to, well, breathe, meanwhile.
As the sun slowly sets, they get closer to a house that sports the sign Austen’s, Sawyer raises an eyebrow.
“What’s that?”
“Last time I checked, she didn’t own the place.”
He climbs up on the porch and pushes the door; it’s exactly as he remembers. A pretty big room, a counter at the end of it, six or seven tables, walls painted in light green, floor clean but not shining, either. A radio on the counter blasts KMA, he thinks the song is Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, the reception perfect; after all, it broadcasts from Shenandoah near here. Shenandoah isn’t really that bad of a place; it’s a pity that he has been there just once or twice because he had liked it.
There are at least two things that catch him by surprise, though; the first is a blonde girl (new probably) taking money from a customer sitting at a table and the second is a child’s crying in the background. The blonde girl excuses herself and runs to the back room; Kate, who had her back turned until then, looks his way and raises her hand to him.
He comes closer, with Jack coming a bit behind him; the customer crosses his way as he gets out. Kate looks like she did last time, some months ago; her lean and slender frame covered in a light green men’s shirt, heavy jeans below, long dark hair falling over her shoulders and freckles scattered all over her pale skin.
“James.”
“Freckles. Did the old man kick the bucket?”
“You are refined. Yeah, six months ago. Left me the place, been getting along.”
“Got yourself some help, I see,” he remarks as he takes a look at the back room, where the blonde girl is trying to calm a baby with her same blond hair in her arms.
“Well, she works hard. Came here two or three months ago searching for work, I couldn’t really say no.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Sawyer is suddenly aware of Jack’s presence next to him.
“Freckles, that’s Jack. Doc, she’s Kate, former number one on the Most Wanted List in Iowa.”
Kate shakes Jack’s hand as she eyes Sawyer badly. “Don’t mind him. I was in jail, but my reward was never high. Hope it ain’t a problem.”
Jack shakes his head.“Surely it isn’t.”
“Anyway, I know what you wanted to know last time,” Sawyer says as Jack senses that it’s not really his business and moves to the other side of the counter, where the nice, blonde girl is back, and the baby seemingly asleep.
--
Jack had figured that it was private information and nothing he really wanted to know; it felt natural to drift away. He meets the girl’s smile and asks her for a glass of water, his throat feels sore; she nods and he observes her better. She can’t be older than twenty or twenty two; she has a lovely form, not exactly slim but hey, since the baby is hers or so he figures it’d be just normal. Her wide blue eyes have some kind of glow to them even though she looks positively tired.
“Hard day?” he asks, just in order to break the ice.
“You bet. But it’s fine. Pretty much. Could be worse, y’know?”
Her voice is light, her tone cheerful; he sincerely admires it.
“What’s his name?” he asks suddenly, not really knowing why.
“The baby? Aaron. I’m Claire, by the way.”
“I’m Jack,” he answers, asking himself why as soon as she told her name he had felt something not being quite right with it. Well, not with the name, but with the fact that it sounds familiar even if he can’t recall knowing anyone named Claire right now. He drinks his water; she stays where she is, since there aren’t any customers to serve at the moment.
“Nice to meet you, then. Are you a musician, too?”
He shakes his head, half laughing.
“Hardly. No, I’m a doctor. Me and him... well, it happened that we are sort of going in the same direction.”
“Really? Where?”
“I don’t have an idea.”
“God, how do I understand you.”
“Why?”
“Well, I... I ain’t from here. I’m from Idaho. I had this nice boyfriend there and we were plannin’ on settling down and ev’rything, but his parents died and he had to leave. Then he told me not to wait for him if I found somethin’ better. I... well, I became involved with this other guy that seemed kind and everythin’. I lived with him ‘cause my parents are dead and his were, too, but then as soon as I... as I fell pregnant he just left.”
Jack nods, thinking what a jerk and he guessed his face showed it, since she laughs heartily.
“Thanks for the concern. Anyway, I had to leave. Worked ‘round until I could... y’know, hide it. Then I found this one farm where they needed a maid and they kept me in ‘til I had the baby, but then I had to go. Was near here and while we were passing, I wanted to go to Kansas, I saw that there was help needed her and... well, here I am. It’s good. It’s nice. I get to work and people don’t mind about Aaron. Sometimes I wish Charlie was here, though, but he was a musician mostly, I doubt we could ever pull enough money together for...”
Jack had been sort of wondering how trustful was this girl, since she had kind of spilled him the story of her life, when he heard the name and it just clicked.
“Wait a second. You said your name is Claire, you’re from Idaho and your boyfriend’s name was Charlie and he’s a musician?”
“Yeah, but...”
“Was the guy English?”
“Yeah, but...”
It’s way too clear in Jack’s eyes now. He remembers Sawyer talking with that kid with the guitar at Juliet’s inn weeks ago; his name was Charlie or so Jack remembers overhearing He was English even though he came from Idaho and he’s pretty sure his girlfriend’s name was Claire. Or well, it was the guitar’s name, but since he mentioned a girlfriend...
Well, only one way to be sure. He turns and sees Kate nodding at Sawyer; maybe their talk is over.
“Sawyer? Can you come here a second?” he asks, his voice loud enough for both of them to hear.
--
“So, what did you find?”
Sawyer takes a paper tissue from the counter and turns it in his hands.
“If your ma’s name’s Dianne Janssen and she’s a waitress for a livin’, she owns a diner up in Rapid City. You said she might’ve gone there, so I went and took a look.”
“How is she?”
“Seemed pretty well off to me.”
“Did you ask her?”
“Yeah. Said she didn’t even want to know where you were.”
Kate nods, biting her lip. “Fine. I knew that anyway.”
“But sorry, weren’t you in jail ‘cause of...”
“James, I don’t wanna talk about jail. What about the rest?”
“Sam Austen, huh? Well, he was pretty hard to track. But I know one guy who owns this bar who knows this other guy who owns one in Washington and there’s this other military guy who always goes there, so I had him askin’.”
“And...?”
“He’s in Europe. Someplace like Germany or somethin’. Long diplomatic mission anyway, shouldn’t be back ‘fore two or three years.”
Kate nods again and starts drying a couple of wet glasses; Sawyer is about to say something when Jack calls him and he goes to the other side of the counter.
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Listen, that kid who was playing with you that night at Juliet’s...”
“The English one with the guitar named after his girlfriend?”
“Yeah, that one. What was his name and where did he come from? And what was the guitar’s name?”
“Woah, that’s a lot of information to remember. Think ‘twas Charlie and he was from someplace with an I... not Indiana, what...”
“Idaho?”
“Yeah, Idaho. And the guitar was Claire. Why?”
“Because she’s his girlfriend.”
--
“What?”
Jack laughs as Sawyer and Claire turn to him yelling exactly the same word in his face, loud enough to cause some grumbling from the child in the other room. Claire barely acknowledges it and keeps on looking from Jack to Sawyer to Jack while Kate, after seeing that this isn’t really the day where customers come in numbers, goes to the back room trying to calm the baby. In a second it becomes clear that she isn’t being successful, but Claire is still staring at Jack like he had just said that she had a distant relative that left her a million dollars in her will and Sawyer is looking at him like he’s just gone mad before he realizes the situation fully.
“Wait a moment, Doc, you’re actually sayin’ she is that Claire?”
“Well, how many Claires from Idaho can have an English musician boyfriend named Charlie?”
Sawyer shrugs. “Well, you got a point.”
“You... you met him?”
“Yeah, sure we did. Normal height guy, taller than you and smaller than me, blond hair, nice smile, all hyper and whatnot, what was the surname... Pace?”
“Oh, God, yes! That’s him! Tell me, he’s alright? What’s he doin’?”
The poor girl seems completely changed, her eyes wild with excitement, a couple of tears streaming down, her hands trembling; but before Sawyer can say a thing, another cry from the back room’s direction prompts her to excuse himself. She comes back a minute later, holding up the baby in her arms as Kate comes standing near her, in front of Jack.
“Well, he’s playin’. As I do I guess. I mean, we go ‘round and hope to get enough money to pay for our dinner. But he looked fine. Well, I dunno, I didn’t know him when you did, but he looked pretty healthy if you want my opinion.”
“And mine, too,” Jack adds.
“See, we also got the resident doctor agreein’ with me. Anyway, named his guitar after you.”
“Oh God... that... I mean, he still thinks about me then...”
“Mamacita, was pretty much clear all over the place.”
She nods as she holds the baby closer, her hand absently stroking the soft blond hair.
“Yeah but... no, I guess I couldn’t.”
“What?”
“Hey, it’s not just me now.” She sniffs a bit after she says it, then shakes her head. Kate comes closer too the door, takes a look at the road. Then shrugs and bolts it.
“What are you doin’?”
“If no one’s showed up yet, no one’s gonna show now. Guess we could all use some rest, right?”
Claire nods, taking a handkerchief from her pocket and wiping her eyes. She excuses herself and walks up the stairs, the baby still crying softly. There’s a silence then, a pretty long one that Kate breaks first, taking a key from a small cupboard behind her.
“So, James, are we having the same place as always?”
“Same place as always, Freckles.”
“Fine. You... you are Jack, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Okay. This is for room two up there. It’s the first on the right.”
“Perfect. Listen, how much do I owe...”
“Shut up. He won’t pay nothin’ and since you’re traveling together it’d be just unfair. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway.”
Jack nods and catches Sawyer looking at Kate from the corner of his eye; he catches the drill and after asking her for another glass of water in order to save appearances, he heads upstairs. If Sawyer thinks Jack’s eyes haven’t barely caught his hand opening the last two buttons of Kate’s shirt and his fingers trailing over her stomach, he’s wrong.
--
He gives up on sleeping after maybe two or three hours. The bed isn’t that uncomfortable, but he had been turning restlessly since he closed his eyes first; he stopped counting at somewhere between eight thousand and nine thousand and he just feels restless.
Jack stands up and puts on his shoes without tying them; he doesn’t bother with the coat and regrets it as soon as he steps out of his room, but it’s too late and he doesn’t feel like retreating it. He walks to the end of the corridor, noticing a door that leads to a balcony on his left; he’s already out when he notices Kate leaning over the side, wearing a heavy white nightgown, her dark hair falling unruly over her shoulders and slightly moving in the light breeze. He guesses she hasn’t dressed because the only thing they can see is the back of the house and the sprawl of empty land, maybe a couple houses that he can see in the distance. But they look long inhabitated.
“Are you another insomniac?”
Her voice startles him, but he shrugs as he places his elbows on the rail.
“Not lately. But I used to be.”
“So you had a relapse?”
“Let’s say that. You, too?”
“No, always been like that. Since jail.”
Jack nods and doesn’t say anything as his eyes roam across the landscape.
“You haven’t asked anything.”
“About what?”
“Anytime I mention jail, everyone wants to know something.”
Jack nods and doesn’t look at her as he speaks. “Well, I figure everyone out there has... I don’t know, a second chance? Looks like you’re making good use of yours, so why should I want to know?”
“You’re right, though you’re the first one saying something like this. You’re working some second chance for yourself?”
“I think I’m still figuring it out.”
“Ain’t it a bit late? I mean, this... this has been going on for... six years? Seven? Whatever, it wasn’t like things were good before it, makes no difference. You should have figured it out then.”
“You got a point, but... well, it just crashed down upon me last year.”
He doesn’t feel like sharing it just now; he realizes he had told Sawyer without so many quibbles, but then, well, after he heard him singing that song he was sure he would have understood. He had told Boone, too, but then again, he had seemed to understand at once. It’s not like Kate wouldn’t, but since he doesn’t think that hearing her story would change much, he doesn’t see why he should share his. She nods, her lips slightly parted in a smile, swollen and pink in the night chill. Jack notices a red bite on her shoulder. He thinks about the last time he was with a woman. Probably Sarah still, even if by the end it was clear that there wasn’t much to it. Well, not exactly. There was this one hooker in Reno after Sarah left for home and he stayed behind with fifty dollars and his divorce papers, but he doesn’t like to think about it.
He wonders for a second what would happen if he kissed Kate now. A strange and sudden urge appears and he feels his stomach tied in a knot. It goes away as fast as it came. He couldn’t do that. He just couldn’t.
“I guess that you’re in... this crazy trip of his to figure that out?”
Jack smiles at her as they both laugh.
“Well, let’s say I am. I mean, it just happened. I think... well, I had no place to go really, he proposed one, I figured why not and so we went. Maybe I was supposed to stop there but then he didn’t say I should and I felt like going on and here I am. I... I really don’t have an idea of what I’m doing, but feels better than the... nothing I did before.”
Kate nods and to Jack it seems like she’s remembering something; but he doesn’t want to know whether her and Sawyer had some conversation including him as a subject. He looks at her better, her freckles even more noticeable on her pale skin in the moonlight.
“This isn’t a bad place,” he throws out as the silence becomes unbearable.
“Yeah, there’s worse around. Much worse. I think you’re wondering why he doesn’t stay, aren’t you?”
“Sort of.”
“I’m done with men. Well, until a certain point. And he’s done with women. Until that certain point. I just... guess it wouldn’t be my place to tell you, but if you stick long enough he will himself. So it’s fine when he comes but that’s it.”
“Like... a mutual exchange of favors?”
“Let’s put it like that.”
Jack nods and suddenly he shivers. She notices it, a bit amused.
“You’re cold?”
“Guess I am. I guess you’re adjusted.”
“I was born here, ‘course I’m adjusted. Well, if you want something to warm you up, there’s whiskey downstairs. You can serve yourself. I think I’ll go back to bed.”
“Good idea. Well, then... thanks. I’ll see.”
“Not a problem.”
She’s gone in ten seconds, like a white ghost moving gently in the corridor; Jack thinks about her offer for a second, but shakes his head. Whiskey before trying to sleep isn’t that good of an idea.
--
Sawyer doesn’t really blink once when he sees that Kate is gone as he wakes up; it happens most of the times. Girl’s really insomniac, he muses as he stands up, too. He knows he won’t get any sleep for a while, might search for her as well.
He retreats from the balcony as soon as he sees her and the doc talking; he should have figured that he’d be as insomniac as her. He wonders whether he should fix himself a drink downstairs when he hears some noise coming from another door and a sweet, soothing voice humming some lullaby he has heard around. Well well well, he figures no one’s really sleeping tonight. He knocks, Claire says to come in.
“Everything fine?” he asks as he closes the door.
She tucks the baby into the bed next to her and smiles at him; her cheeks redden suddenly when she realizes that her breast is half showing.
“Sorry. Oh, just, I’m...”
“Don’t worry, Mamacita. Nothin’ I ain’t seen already.”
“Why, you got a child, too?”
Sawyer feels a lump forming in his throat then; the question was totally innocent but he just has a block whenever he thinks about Clementine. He told Kate about Cass, but he never told anyone about her. It still hurts to much.
“Yeah,” he lies then, as smoothly as he remembers being able to lie, the ability he had from all that time ago suddenly kicking back in. “But I ain’t seen her in a long while. I still send money home, though.”
Claire nods in understanding and Sawyer doesn’t feel that proud; but he just can’t share it. Not with someone who has just had a baby. He can’t and he won’t.
“What’s her name?”
“Clementine,” he answers straight. He doesn’t need to lie about that.
“Like the song?”
“Well, that’s my job for a reason. You got yours from the Bible?”
“You read that?”
“I read a lot of stuff, Mamacita.”
“Well, also. But... well, is because my gran always used to say I should give my baby an important name when I had one. There was this... this babies’ names book ‘round the house and Aaron is the first. I figured it was important enough, right?”
Sawyer sits on a chair near there, figuring that yeah, it’s enough. He just hopes the kid has it better than his own had.
“Listen, if I ever meet again that boyfriend of yours should I tell him you’re here?”
“I guess... well, yeah, but also tell him all the rest. I... if he’s not okay with... everything I guess, that’s fine. I get that, really.”
He thinks she’d like it better if he was okay with it, since she’s sniffing a bit, but Sawyer can’t picture that kid not being okay with it. He just didn’t look like the type. And he was head over heels for her anyway.
“Well, guess I’ll leave you to get some sleep. I figure you don’t get that for more than two hours in a row.”
“No, I don’t. Thanks and goodnight.”
Sawyer nods and leaves the room, going to Kate’s; she’s back already, the gown as white as the sheets in the pale moonlight.
“Insomnia kicks again, Freckles?”
“Nope. The baby woke me up and I went downstairs to get me something to drink. You?”
“Had a talk with the mom,” he answers knowing that she never went downstairs. But he’ll be surprised the day she tells him the truth, even though she knows he wouldn’t care less if she told him she was talking with the doc. He just shakes it off, puts his trousers and his shirt away and climbs back into the bed. He feels the warmth of her skin against his soon after and figures it’s fine as it is.
--
“So, I’ll be telling him if I meet him. Okay?”
“Sure. Fine. Thank you so much.”
Sawyer shakes Claire’s hand; he already spoke to Kate before and now he’s waiting for Jack just a bit further on up the road. Jack looks at Kate, who stands in front of him, her hair tied back into a ponytail, dressed as the day before. “Well, good luck.”
“Good luck to you, too. I hope you figure out whatever it is that you need to figure out.”
“Don’t I know it.”
He leaves then, waving at Claire; then joins Sawyer and they don’t talk until they’re well out of distance.
“So, what ‘bout Freckles?”
“What about her?”
“What did you think?”
“That she has clearer ideas than I have.”
“Doesn’t take much for it.”
“Listen, I was... talking with her yesterday night. You... don’t mind? Or...”
“Doc, I don’t give a damn. Walls of Jericho or not, we ain’t exclusive, you know.”
Jack blushes and looks outraged; Sawyer just gives him a shove on his shoulder.
“Christ, I wasn’t implying anything. You burn easily.”
“It’s a long story.”
“Yeah, guess it is. Well, we got two choices now. Or three.”
“Like what?”
“Kansas again, Missouri or Nebraska.”
“You got any particular place you’d like to go?”
Sawyer shrugs, seemingly thinking about it.
“Well, I ain’t got a thing to do East. Hell, I really don’t wanna go East at all.”
“Okay. Fine. Since we’ve already been to Kansas and if you want to go west Missouri isn’t really a choice...”
“Then Nebraska it is. Right into the dust, huh?”
“I guess you can’t stay far from it for long.”
“Why, can’t you?”
“Well, I’d rather do without.”
“Oh, just cut it. You get some more of it and then you’re a dust bowl refugee as all of us.”
“Yeah, sure, and this is an old, hot, dusty and neverending highway.”
“You actually know that song?”
”Well, I’ve been around, too.”
And then he follows Sawyer and they just go.
TBC
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-01-28 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-28 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 06:56 am (UTC)I wish Sawyer and Kate had an arrangement like this on the show, one when they're not in for the long run, but they still know each other as well as their own limits when it comes to intimacy.
I can't wait to see who they'll meet in Nebraska!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-30 10:55 am (UTC)You know, I wish Sawyer and Kate had that arrangement, too. I felt like I owed to show it because Kate is important to him on the show, but I'd really want their relationship to be more like this and not like it's there.
Glad you liked Claire here! If canon doesn't give me any hope regarding the character, I might as well have it here. And yeah, I also guess it was a rare thing to find but that's exactly why I just let her have it here. I just can't picture Sawyer as someone who could tell Claire about what happened with his daughter (poor guy, I did give him a mean story) or that who would manage to definitely deal with it any time in his life so it's really freat to hear it worked here. Thank you so much, glad you liked it! ♥
no subject
Date: 2009-02-06 06:22 pm (UTC)So, no real Jack/Kate here? I think it is a wise choice, considering how it would affect the Jack/Sawyer dynamics (unless you plan on changing that in the future). Also, at the present moment I am very glad you showed to particular attachment between her and Sawyer. We see enough of it at the show as it is...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-07 10:35 pm (UTC)Nope, no triangle here. I'm going Jack/Sawyer all the way here and I have enough of the triangle as it is on the show. I thought I owed that bit of UST to their canon dynamics but then again I'm done with Kate. ;) And I can buy them when there's no particular attachment (well, I don't like Jack/Kate and Sawyer/Kate equally but I can see the second one if it's very no-strings-attached). Thanks, glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 02:53 pm (UTC)Oh man, I read that in exactly the wrong context!! LOL
guess it wouldn’t be my place to tell you, but if you stick long enough he will himself.
Oh! This sounds intriguing.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-11 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 04:15 pm (UTC)Now, maybe they will meet Charlie again and tell him where to find Claire... I want a happy ending!
Also, while this Kate is not a threat and I can like her, I love how in-character is the fact that she lies to Sawyer anyway, for no reason at all.
While Jack tells him right away.
I bet I know why Jack couldn't sleep... imagining Sawyer with her could do that! ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-03-18 08:31 pm (UTC)Ha, no, this Kate isn't threatening! That's the way I like her too. ;) But it wouldn't be Kate if she didn't lie, right?
(Yep, exactly that. He just hadn't realized it yet. ;) )