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janie_tangerineOkay, I have my new episode of Supernatural downloaded but since I'm spending the day with a friend to catch up it'll be waiting for me tonight. I can't wait! And I'm not even that spoiled ;) and meanwhile, since last evening I managed to do another commentary even if it wasn't exactly asked but I wanted to do it anyway so maybe I'll just stop being lazy and finish the damn story, here is the commentary for the second part of There's a Story in Your Voice for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
glycerineclown. The post is still open here, the other commentaries will come asap and now I'll be out ;)
“Jack, just tell us that you’ve chosen, like, the worst time ever to fish out from your newly discovered well of sense of humor.”*
Jack turned his head towards Charlie, shaking it. He wished it was the case, indeed.
“Sorry to say, but no, I probably I still haven’t developed one. Not as good as yours, anyway.”**
* I don’t know why but I thought that if someone had to speak first, it had to be Charlie. Now I’m never too sure when writing his lines, but I’ve been told that this one sounded much like him and he’d be one to point out Jack’s lack of sense of humor.
** I actually think that this answer is supposed to show that Jack has some hidden sense of humor. Sort of.
“Dude... so, he doesn’t remember, like, anything?”
Suddenly everyone was silent and Jack could feel everyone staring at him. He took a breath and shifted his eyes from Desmond to Sayid. No particular reason, except that they were the only ones who seemed to be on the sane and reasonable side of the fence. He voluntarily avoided looking at Kate.
“No. He doesn’t remember anything from before the crash, for that matter.”
No one spoke, at that; Jack dreaded to look closely at the crowd and the general expression was of something close to dismay, or along those lines anyway. Now, that was quite interesting because Jack hadn’t really thought of such a reaction.*
* I don’t know why I decided that this was going to be the general reaction, but I figured that in a situation such as the S3 finale one the spirits wouldn’t have been too high and an amnesiac Sawyer wouldn’t be easy to deal with, or at least the prospect wouldn’t have been too appealing. By the way, Jack shifts his eyes from Desmond to Sayid because that’s what I would have done, no real reason. Or maybe because I figured that they would have kept a clear head, Sayid because he’s Sayid and Desmond because he doesn’t know Sawyer well enough to freak out. While I figured Jack wouldn’t be looking at Kate of anyone.
No one said anything for a good two minutes, not breaking the silence until Desmond finally decided to do it.
“So what now, brother?”
Here comes the two million dollar question, Jack thought. He took a breath. He was sure it wasn’t going to be easy for anyone.
“Well, there really isn’t anything to do. He will remember everything eventually, but until he does... well, we all should try to do just a couple of things. When he comes out just... just introduce yourself like it’s the first time you see him, don’t mention a thing about what happened since the crash and well, just treat him like you’ve never met before. And if you know something about his life before the island, don’t tell him anything. If we do, it’ll just take more time to recover.”
“Jack, that’s crazy.”
He was forced to look at Kate, wondering how she was feeling right then.*
* Jack’s reasoning here is more or less in line with what I do know about how to treat such amnesia, though I just barely researched and all the rest comes from movies or such. I gave Kate that quote because I figured that being (at least for all she knows) the one that actually knows more about Sawyer’s life before the island, she would find it especially hard to hide it from him. Then again, I think of Kate as someone that puts her needs first.
“It’s the only way. I’m sorry but it’s all I can come up with right now and he’s already... let’s say disoriented on his own, he doesn’t need further confusion.”
Kate nodded, her mouth stretched in a thin line. Jack resolved on talking with her face to face as soon as this was over, but now he had to go inside and...
“Jack, could we decide just about one thing before you get him?”, asked Sayid, coming near him and speaking in the lowest possible tone.
“Yeah, sure.”
“About the houses arrangements... I had figured he would have wanted to be on his own, but now I guess that it is not going to be the case, right?”
Jack shook his head without even thinking about it.
“No. Of anything, he shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“That’s what I feared. Now, Desmond has to stay with Charlie for... well, it’s a long story that they explained me earlier and we’ll have to talk about it sooner or later. Right now just trust me on that. They need to stay together. Since Hurley wanted to stay with Charlie, too, I gave them the bigger one.”
“Good. So... isn’t there anyone who doesn’t know him too well who would avoid spilling something involuntarily?”
“Maybe Claire, but she’s with Kate.”
“What? Did they decide it?”
“Yes. Does it surprise you?”
“No, no, it’s just that... it doesn’t matter.”
“John and Juliet aren’t a match, right?”
“No. No, they aren’t.”, Jack thought shivering at the thought. If Sawyer had his epiphany in Juliet’s company the consequences were surely not going to be anything remotely near nice and well, he didn’t trust Locke with anyone who didn’t know with whom he was dealing.
“What I thought. Jack, I think he’d better stay with you.”
Jack hadn’t actually thought about that and he wasn’t that crazy about the idea truth to be told, but Sayid stopped him before he could speak.
“I mean, if something happened you would know what to do and you’d be way more careful than anyone else. I would not have problems but well, if he recovered memories just from his first days here... you know, I don’t think it would be a pleasant situation.”*
* I actually had thought hard about this house business. I mean, the basic premise I needed here is for Sawyer to share the house with Jack so I had taken it for granted, but when I arrived at that point I realized I should have at least explained that. Thank God Sayid is one that I think would take care of house arrangements and I let him do all the reasoning. I put Kate and Claire together not because of Eggtown but because I thought that Kate would rather avoid sharing a house with Sawyer in such a situation and since I pretty much liked their interaction when I still cared about Claire, I put them together. Especially since Charlie has to bunk with Desmond. Also, the whole visions thing should play a bigger role in the next part, or at least it’s supposed to.
Jack had to agree with that.
“You’re right. Okay, he’s going to stay here. It’s the best option anyway.”
Sayid nodded and left; Jack sighed, thinking that if everyone had the same attitude as Sayid maybe this could actually end better than he feared.
“Alright, I’m getting him. When we get out... please, just try to do what I said before.”
He knew he wasn’t ever going to get an enthusiastic response and so he settled on going back inside without waiting, already sure that something was bound to go wrong soon. Very soon.*
* I think that Jack would be pessimist enough to think that something has to go wrong.
--
As soon as Jack went, the silence broke and all that Kate could hear was chattering; she withdrew from the front row of the crowd and settled on staying behind, quite close but not really among all the other people.
She brought a hand to her head, trying desperately to make sense not of what was happening, but more of what the hell she was going to do now.
Sawyer wasn’t surely going to remember her; if it was a complete memory loss, as she had understood, there was no question about it. Which meant, as Jack had said before, that they were going to start from scratch.
Give each other a clean slate, she thought repressing a bitter laugh. Now, that was pure irony. She figured that he wasn’t even going to be the person she knew; and for how much she could have wished sometimes that he just could change a little, the bare idea of starting again with a completely different man was scary enough to make her skin shiver with goosebumps.*
* It took me two weeks to write this paragraph at the time. I swear that I didn’t know how to approach Kate in the whole thing, or at least in this specific part, also because I usually don’t understand her. I always thought that she has a certain wish for Sawyer to change at least slightly, whether she is aware of it or not, but in such a situation she would be forced to come up to terms with the fact that they’d have to start from scratch indeed. Also, this would be a golden occasion for her to solve her choosing between the other two angles of the triangle, but I also think that in the S3 finale she wasn’t ready and S4 just proved it anyway. I don’t think she’ll ever choose but that’s another matter. So I just tried to make clear that she doesn’t have an idea of what to do and try to be objective to her at the same time.
Maybe, she reasoned, at least it could’ve been an occasion to clear things up with Jack for good.
Oh, if there was a way she felt, that was confused. Confused as hell. She barely knew where she was standing before that trek, then Jack had gone and told her that, there had been that talk with Sawyer before and she didn’t know what to make out of everything. She had hoped to clear things up with Sawyer if and when he was back from the beach.
Seemed like it wasn’t the case, she though bringing instintively a hand above her stomach, then taking it away shaking her head. At least Juliet was going to have some result soon and well, before she wasn’t so sure of what answer she’d have liked to hear.
Now she didn’t wish for anything more than a negative result.*
*IMHO, I think she never wished for a positive result, but in this situation I would wish for every negative result in existence.
She was distracted from it all when the door of the house opened.
--
Jack heard the faint chattering from outside, but he decided to ignore it altogether. He took a breath and headed in the infirmary’s direction, hoping secretely that the memory loss term was of the very short kind and that the second he opened the door, things would have gone back to normal.
He did and when Sawyer turned towards him, sitting up on the bed, well, he was looking at him far too nicely for things to have gone back to normal.*
* I figured that if he really doesn’t remember anything he would be generally nice to everyone on instinct. I mean, I think that Sawyer’s whole attitude is defined by what happened to him during his life and that were the circumstances changed he’d be a much better person. Using the nice behavior towards Jack especially is what I was trying to do in order to show the change in his behavior.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked leaning against the door after closing it.
Sawyer barely shrugged, avoiding his eyes.
“Quite decent, everythin’ considered.”
“Did you remember anything, by chance?”
Sawyer shook his head with a helpless shrug of his shoulders and Jack took a couple of steps, coming near the bed.
“Well, it wouldn’t have been likely, if you did. At least everything else is fine, right?”
Sawyer raised his head, looking straigh at him; he nodded, his lips stretched in a thin line, his hands clenched together in between his knees.*
* I am fairly terrible at body language, but I was trying to give Sawyer an opposite one from his usual.
“Guess it’s time for the big meeting?”
Well, at least he still had some sense of humor left. Thanks for small favors.
“Yeah, guess it is. Hey, just one thing. You know... it’s a complicated matter, but I’ll try just to make it short. We didn’t stay here, before. We were on the beach.”
“When there were houses?”*
* I’m sure that if Sawyer watched Lost as an external viewer he’d think that it doesn’t have any logic whatsoever. In this case, knowing they stayed on a beach when there are houses looked to me like something very logic-less.
“Let’s just drop that. Anyway, we arrived here pretty much today and they’re still getting people settled down there. So, well, I just thought that since... you know, given the situation and everything, it would..”
Sawyer looked at him with an expectant stare, nodding; he obviously was waiting for Jack to arrive to the point and Jack would have happily done it, hadn’t he felt so damn confused and hadn’t he been blushing of everything. Because he could totally feel himself blushing.
“If you got your memories back it’d be good to have around someone who has an idea of what to do and so...”
“Doc, if you’re askin’ me to share your roof, since I guess this is your place, you don’t need to skim around that much. That’s fine. Not like you ain’t right. And, well...”*
Sawyer suddenly stopped talking and turned his head to his side.
“What?”
“Nothin’, leave it.”**
* I also wanted to point out that while Sawyer doesn’t remember Jack, he still has that ability to read him that I think is one of the most intriguing points of their whole interaction. So it made sense to me that Jack should freak out over asking Sawyer to share the house with him (because he always thinks about the not-amnesiac Sawyer) and Sawyer just guesses it at once.
** I left this open to interpretation, but at least for how I see it, he was blurting out that Jack was fine enough to share a house with or something along those lines. Then he doesn’t say it because he probably sees it as getting too far.
Jack nodded, not too convinced, but well, at least there hadn’t been a problem there, for which he was thankful enough.
“So, do you want to go? The sooner you do it, the sooner is over.”
Sawyer shook his head again.
“That’s crazy. I just... I can’t place a single thing since I woke up. And now I gotta meet forty people that will be even more embarassed than I am and I know I’m supposed to know who they are. Fuck, I can’t do this.”
“How do you know? You never tried it.”
Sawyer’s head slowly turned in Jack’s direction, his lips turned in a semi-shocked expression of contempt, very close to the one he always shot Jack during their first days on the beach. Now, he had to smile at it.*
* Made sense to me that there should be some things that don’t change and that Jack would try to lighten up the situation without actually saying something which isn’t really funny. Except that it works anyway, but that’s not the point. Also, I needed to work in that quote and it looked to me like the perfect place.
“Yeah, and I’ve never lost all of my memory as I sure haven’t tried shootin’ myself in the head, either. That was poor, y’know it?”*
* That was actually the second half of the quote. The fact that originally it were two people on a sorry excuse for a boat kind of dying while attempting to navigate through a cascade it’s another matter.
“I never was too famous for my sense of humor, I’ll concede you that.”
“Can’t say I don’t agree.”, was the answer, but Jack thought that it couldn’t have been possibly that bad since there was a ghost of a smile traced on Sawyer’s lips. It disappeared after two seconds, but it had been there, alright.
“Are we going then?”
“Alright. Let’s shoot ourselves in the head.”
He made to stand up and Jack extended his hand by reflex, thinking that Sawyer wasn’t probably going to mantain his balance at first; he was right because he swayed dangerously for a second, then grabbed Jack’s wrist and put his other hand on his arm until he seemed to stand on his feet. Then he nodded and let go of him.
Jack could feel his skin burning where Sawyer had touched it, but he didn’t say anything and opened the door of the room, letting Sawyer go first and then leading him to the main entrance.
He put his hand on the handle, still keeping it closed.
“On my three?”
“On your three. Fine.”
“Good. One, two, three.”
He nodded at Sawyer and pulled.
--
As soon as the door opened and they stepped out on the porch, the chattering ended quite abruptedly and Jack could think only This is already starting the wrong way. He could feel Sawyer tensing even if there were a good ten inches between them and a sideways glance confirmed it; Sawyer looked as nervous as your regular freshman going to his first job interview and he couldn’t see, in front of him, a face which didn’t show something not along the lines of embarassment.*
* I realize that this is very un-Sawyerish, but when you wake up remembering nothing and have to meet forty people who know you or so you’re told by a doctor with terrible bedside mannters, I think you’d have to be Chuck Norris in order not to get nervous.
Jack himself didn’t know how to deal with this; taking the first person he could find and introducing them to Sawyer whoever they were sounded completely idiotic, but well, the option of talking altogether didn’t exactly look brilliant to him, not at all, and...
“Well, if no one’s goin’, let me.”
His head jerked to the left side and he let out a breath of relief when he saw Desmond making his way to the porch, dropping his backpack on the ground when he was in front of them.
Then he brushed some hair away from his eyes and flashed them both a smile which was warm enough to be friendly and polite enough not to scare someone away.
“Well, brother, guess one has to start, aye? I’m Desmond, nice to meet you.”
Jack wasn’t surely expecting Desmond to be the one to break the ice but right then he was feeling thankful towards the guy as he has rarely felt thankful to someone since they crashed and he didn’t even know why he cared so much.*
*I didn’t choose Desmond just for the sheer eye candy factor. Desmond doesn’t really know Sawyer, so he’s probably the one in the camp that would be less embarrassed by such a circumstance. Also, he doesn’t have the time to freak out about amnesia when he’s still waiting for a flash anyway and for how much he might not be your usual social person, I think he’d know how to deal with the situation. Jack doesn’t know why he cares yet because I still haven’t gotten to the point where, you know, this thing actually becomes shippy, but I’m throwing the seeds here.
Sawyer nodded and took Desmond’s hand, shaking it lightly.
“James. Nice to meet you too, I guess?”
Desmond didn’t flinch when the name wasn’t Sawyer and as soon as Jack saw Charlie’s shocked face he made a gesture behind his back trying to make him understand that he wasn’t supposed to freak out.*
* Desmond wouldn’t flinch but I think that Charlie would freak out.
Kate saw the scene, too, and hurried to be behind Desmond in line; Jack got that she had known about Sawyer’s real name but for now it was better like that. At least the others had time to straighten themselves out.
“Hi, I’m Kate.”, she said stepping up, similing as kindly as Jack supposed she could, even if he could sense how hard she was trying to keep her face straight; Sawyer didn’t, though. And it was alright. How could he have?
“James.”
They shook hands and Kate managed to keep her face straight, smiling politely at him and getting another small flash of dimples back. So small it was almost unnoticeable, but she did notice it and hell, why did her hear skip a beat for that when before it had took him much more time to have such an effect on her?*
* For how much I’d rather pretend Kate didn’t exist while writing Jack/Sawyer (it’d be much easier), I can’t. So I tried to put myself in her shoes here and I like to think that she would have noticed Sawyer now when he doesn’t know her than she would have let on when he did know her.
When he left her hand she left the porch; Sayid had been behind her, ready to step up. She saw him shaking Sawyer’s hand and exchanging names with the corner of an eye, then when she was back in the rear Locke was stepping out and Juliet going down. Claire with Aaron, Charlie and Hurley were next and she had to smile when Hurley offered a half-hug. Then it was Sun, Jin, Bernard and Rose’s turn; then Karl and Alex. Danielle, too, but well, it wasn’t like they were introduced before. It seemed to be quite better than she expected and...
“Hey.”
Kate turned, almost freaked out. Jack knew how to be silent, when he wanted.
“Hey. I wasn’t expecting you down here.”
“Well, I’ll have to go back as soon as they’re over but... You know, I was wondering how you were doing and...”
“I’m fine.”, she answered a little too quickly. Jack caught it because he didn’t seem convinced at all.
“Are you sure? Listen, I know that you two were... well, I know this is probably hard on you and...”
“Jack, you’re making assumptions. I’m fine.”*
* I think that the basic of the Jack/Kate relationship is that he worries about her, she lies to him and he usually freaks out. I kind of liked how this dialogue turned out because he worries about her, she lies to him, he knows and freaks out. Might be just my interpretation though, I’m no Jack/Kate shipper by any mean.
Jack still didn’t look convinced, but as he turned he realized that almost everyone had introduced and decided to find another moment.
“Well, if you say so. Listen, now I’m gonna go. Maybe tomorrow we can, you know, discuss it better?”
“Oh... yeah. Sure. He’s staying with you?”
“It was the best option.”
Kate nodded as Jack turned and went back on the porch. She guessed it was better like this, so she could get a night’s sleep over it. It was darkening, anyways.
“Kate? Have you got a moment?”
She turned back, surprised to see Locke and Juliet standing behind her. Now, that was an unlikely combination.
“John? Sure, I have one. Is it about...”
“Yes, it is.”, said Juliet, turning a strand of hair around her finger. “He has something that might help. Or not. But well, maybe it was best to ask you first.”
Why me and not Jack?, was her first thought. Then she shrugged and nodded.
“What are you talking about?”
“Kate, do you know about the files they had on us?”*
* The files are actually a fundamental part of this story. They have to play an important role in the next chapter as soon as I manage to decide how I want to solve one issue I have with it and have to play an even more important role towards the middle. So here I was setting the whole files thing up.
--
It was already dusk when everything was over and Jack couldn’t have been happier of finally taking his shower. Everyone had gone to the assigned houses, Sawyer had more or less settled in a sort of guest room on the bottom floor saying that he was going to try to sleep it off and Jack had agreed with the idea. Surely it wasn’t going to hurt him, even if maybe he should have eaten something first.
Well, Jack himself could have used something to eat but he was dead tired and the bare idea of even trying to put a cold dinner together was something too far for him right then.
He went up to his room and settled for that long, hot shower he had been craving all that afternoon.*
* I was feeling so bad because poor Jack hadn’t had that shower, I had to mention it.
When he felt like there wasn’t a grain of sand over his skin and that he had washed away all the dust and sweat he gathered on that trip, he stepped out, wrapped himself up in a couple of clean towels and headed to the chest of drawers where he had put his clothes before.
He actually didn’t remember that he still had some night clothes there from when he was staying there.
Better like this, he though picking a pair of red* pajama pants and going back to the bed. He hoped to get a decent sleep at least that night.
* I didn’t choose that color by chance *coughs*.
--
Outside it was pitch dark and after three hours of turning in the bed and thinking about everything one shouldn’t think about when he wanted to sleep, Jack gave up and stepped out of the bed, shaking his head.
He hadn’t really slept seven hours straight since they crashed, but he didn’t understand why he couldn’t manage now. For the first time in three months they were all more or less safe, there weren’t Others coming, there wasn’t some sick kind of smoke monster out there, no one was lost, he didn’t really have a serious matter to worry about.*
* I actually think that Jack is one with seriously damaged sleeping patterns since it looks to me like one that wouldn’t mind losing hours of sleep because of his work and from what canon said about his time on the island, he’s either insomniac or never rest. So I figured he wouldn’t sleep here either. Sure, it’s also because he’s worried about Sawyer, but I don’t think he’d rationalize it.
He grabbed a clean plain t-shirt and put it on, then headed downstairs. He figured out that if he couldn’t sleep at least he could eat a Dharma bar or something like that; he couldn’t even remember the last time he had eaten something.
Then he stopped dead in his tracks on the stairs because there was noise down there. Someone was definitely walking around and without bothering to be silent.
Oh no, he thought, every possible negative scenario flashing through his head. It could have been Ben, it could have been some Other and damn, Sawyer was down there and he didn’t know and...
He brought a hand to his already aching head; no, it wasn’t the time to. Now, he was going down, having a look and then he would decide what to do.
Yes. Much more reasonable. He went down the stairs quietly, his bare feet* taking quick steps; the noise came from the kitchen, he realized when he was on the bottom floor.
* That’s me and my favorite kink. So what, I try it everytime I can.
Jack arrived at the door; he opened it without many ceremonies...
“Oh fuck!”
Right, maybe he had been too abrupt, but as Sawyer, dressed only in a pair of sort of comfortable trousers and in one shirt of Jack’s that he had lent him because he only had that ragged one and no one took his things from the beach yet, jerked in his direction, Jack felt sort of relieved. Then he suddenly realized that he was in his pajamas, or sort of and that Sawyer was no better; suddenly he felt embarrassed and could feel heat creeping up on his cheeks.*
* I figured that this would have been way embarrassing for the both of them, even if moreso with Jack probably. Sawyer wouldn’t exactly care about his state, but since Jack is the one having memories of their former relationship he’d probably freak the hell out. Also, I didn’t have Sawyer in Jack’s shirt for nothing. I just have a hard time with this pairing and can’t help a slow build up, so since this is a ten parter I thought I could take advantage of it and drop hints since the beginning.
Sawyer, seeing that it was him, let out a breath, even if he was visibly shaken.
“Damn, you really were scarin’ me. Did I... did I wake you up?”, he asked, his voice suddenly concerned.
Jack had to blink a couple of times before coming to terms with that sentence.
“Uh.. no, no, you didn’t. I just.. I couldn’t sleep and thought I could grab something to eat, then I heard you but...”
But I didn’t know if it was some crazy psycho coming back only to raise more problems, he kept to himself.* Sawyer nodded, seemingly relieved.
* Well, if Ben had showed up that’d have been just the cherry on the cake, right?
“Well, y’know, I couldn’t sleep, either. And I’m kinda starvin’. Guess we could... I dunno, try to put a dinner together?”
“It’s midnight.”
“So what? Looks like we ain’t gonna get any sleep soon.”
“Well, you have a point. I’m not that good at cooking though.”
Sawyer looked straight at him, then bit his lip, slightly lowering his head.
“Well... I just... I dunno how to put it.”, he resolved with a shrug.
“Try me.”
“It’s that... I don’t know why but I got an impression that if I tried to cook somethin’ I could. I can’t even remember if I’m any good at it or if I ain’t.”, he resolved, some color creeping into his cheeks, too. Jack didn’t know if he should have felt more surprised at Sawyer saying that he actually knew how to cook, at Sawyer offering to cook him dinner or at Sawyer blushing.*
* At this point I think that Jack keeps on being surprised just because he can’t separate former Sawyer from amnesiac Sawyer and of course all of this surprises him. I hope I was keeping Sawyer IC enough here for how much different he could be, but I always thought that if it wasn’t for Kate he and Jack would be friendly enough towards each other and Sawyer had made it clear in S2 anyway.
“Being better than me doesn’t take much. Well, suit yourself. I think there should be plenty of food there.”
Sawyer nodded and started to have a closer look at what was both in the fridge and in the cupboards, obviously not searching for a quick snack. Jack could feel his stomach almost aching and decided to do at least something to avoid thinking about it.
“You know what, if... if you’re cooking, I could just set the table? In the... living room?”
“Alright. Nice idea. Eatin’ while standin’ really ain’t a good perspective.”
Jack had to agree at that. He left the kitchen, heading to the living room.
He remembered where the tablecloth was, so he opened a drawer in a cupboard near there and he lay it on the table in the center of the room. Then, in the same cupboard, he found two glasses and the cutlery. He set both the glasses, a fork and a knife each on the two ends of the table and then it became a problem because he didn’t remember where the plates were.
He was sure everything was in the living room, Juliet had fixed him a quick lunch there once and it was goddamn disgusting; but everything had been there, alright. There were two identical cupboards near each other on the wall on his right and he really couldn’t remember whether it was the right one or the left one, even if he was sure it was one of them.
He went for the left and of course it was full of videotapes. He had never opened it before, he guessed, because if he had known there were movies there he might have watched a couple just for the fun of it.
He took five. It Happened One Night, The Philadelphia Story, Casablanca, Arsenic and Old Lace, Citizen Kane.
Seems like the Others don’t like technicolor, he thought; then he started to put them back again when the crazy idea came and he couldn’t shake it from his mind for how stupid it sounded.*
* I don’t know why I think that the Others wouldn’t like modern movies. It’s just that they seem stuck in another time/society and I can’t see Ben watching Titanic, or liking it. This point was further discussed in comments and actually brought me to put a modern (and horrible) movie in the Others’ household in another fic, but probably as said in comments, I think that older movies have just more of a romantic aura to them and a whole other depth. Also, I needed Casablanca because in order to have a quote from Casablanca in a later chapter I need Jack to quote it directly.
Scratch stupid, it was dumb. He and Sawyer definitely weren’t on the best of terms, they weren’t teenagers, they had probably never done most of the typical teenager stuff (Jack knew for himself and Sawyer had never struck him as one who was the typical teenager), Sawyer had fucking amnesia and it was just dumb.
He took a couple of videotapes and walked back to the kitchen, smelling something good. He thought it was pizza, but it was probably his mind playing tricks on him.*
* The fact that Jack has obviously had an idea that he would have never dared to propose regular!Sawyer and that he goes on with it was meant to show that he’s starting to feel more at ease around him.
He knocked on the door before getting in, finding Sawyer kneeling in front of an oven; a box of Dharma prepared dough for pizza granting a spectacularly fast cooking were empty on the table and a heavenly smell was filling the whole room.
“What have you done?”
“Well, there was that Dharma shit in the freezer. What brand is Dharma anyway? I just took it, guess it’s enough for two, then there was some...”
He took a can and read the label.
“Dharma Prime Tomato Sauce. I just... added the water and all the shit that was on the instructions there, used this on it, added a couple of other things I found in the cupboard and if it says the truth, we’re eatin’ in twenty minutes.”*
* I think I searched fast pizza preparates on the internet. Or maybe I went to the supermarket and checked the label of one. I really can’t remember but I haven’t made that up. Anyway I think that even with preparates you have to be good. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to do it properly and Jack has never struck me as someone who is any good at cooking.
Jack nodded, with a look of sincere admiration. That was a reason for which even in the real world he blessed the existence of take-aways.
“Listen, I was thinking... this probably sounds idiotic but... I found some movies in the cupboard there.”
“Movies? Like, those videotapes you have there?”
“Yeah. There are some more though. I don’t know, maybe you want to watch one while we eat? It’s been a... well, let’s say stressful day. I thought that... well, forget it, it’s ridiculous.”
For a second, to Jack it seemed like Sawyer’s features had become just a bit softer. Then he turned his attention to the oven, but there was a small smile on his lips.
“Well, that ain’t such a bad idea. Sure, why not? We have to pass the time, anyway. You choose the movie.”
“Me?”
“For me it’s the same. I really... well, I kind of can’t remember a single movie I’ve seen, Doc.”
Jack tried not to let anything show on his face hearing that name. Damn it, why did it had such an effect and why did he actually feel a shiver when he heard Sawyer calling him like that now? He had hated it in the beginning and then took it as one of those disgraces of life that you really can’t avoid. Why now...?*
* He’s just realizing now that he likes it when Sawyer calls him Doc. I think he’s actually fond of it but won’t ever admit that.
He shook his head and went back to the living room, putting back in its place everything that was on the table.
Then he turned on the TV, of course there was no signal, then picked the first tape he found and tried to see if it worked.
It worked and it was Casablanca.
He had to laugh at that.
Only Mark Silverman had ever known that it was his favorite movie. To everyone else, it was Apocalypse Now, which was famous enough and, well, not-girly enough to avoid any sort of remarks when he was in med school; but truth was, he had seen it at Mark’s with his mother and his sisters during one of the few sleepovers he was allowed, maybe he was eight, or nine, or whatever, and he could still remember crying at the end and feeling as embarrassed as he had never felt all his life. Mark had thankfully never told anyone the secret and Jack had kept it for himself.
Now, he guessed that it was destiny or something like that.*
* This actually had me brainstorming. I mean, Casablanca has been my favorite movie for a while and while I think that it could be Jack’s favorite movie, I also think that for someone such as Jack was brough up, he would feel ashamed of liking such a sentimental and kind of over-the-top movie in the sense of clichés that it has. Of course it works exactly because it’s all a sentimental cliché which taken as a whole is something you can’t resist, but looking at it objectively, it seemed to me that he would lie outright about liking it. And if only one person had to know it, it’d have been Marc. Apocalypse Now looked like a manly-enough movie that he could get away with so I went with it as the substitute.
When he came back in the kitchen, Sawyer was turning off the oven.
“Is Casablanca alright with you?”
“Sure. Told you, I don’t have an idea whether I’ve seen it or not. Though I know what’s it ‘bout. I think.”
Sawyer opened the oven, two dish cloths between his hands; then he took out the pan and lay it on the table. It was tomato pizza indeed, fresh, fragrant, with some basil leaves spread on the surface (does Dharma Basil even exist?, thought Jack).
“It smells delicious. Compliments.”
“I ain’t done a thing myself.”
“I’d have burned it. So, we’re bringing it there?”
“You wanna eat it from here?”
Jack himself felt surprised of not wishing for a more civilized way of eating it, but in truth, he didn’t feel the slightest need. He grabbed some paper napkins and a knife on the counter; then he just shrugged.
“Why not?”
“Well, fine with me.”*
* I figured neither of them had experienced the Great Movie Watching With Friends While Eating Not Healthy Food business, so I went all the way with it here. Of course Sawyer doesn’t know, but that wasn’t the point.
Sawyer put it on a tray which he had found while exploring the cupboards before and he brought it to the living room; he sat on the couch while Jack started the tape, then when Jack joined him he took the knife and cut himself a piece. Jack did the same and he took the first bite as soon as the voiceover started. He had to say that it really tasted delicious.
With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not everybody could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up - Paris to Marseilles... across the Mediterranean to Oran... then by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the others wait in Casablanca... and wait... and wait... and wait.
--
The clock on the wall said two in the night when it was over; they hadn’t spoken a word during the whole of the movie, the pizza was finished by Ilsa’s night visit at Rick’s bar, there were a few inches between them on the couch; Sawyer had draped his legs on the couch, Jack sat still with his feet on the floor. He felt full but not heavy, the atmosphere wasn’t as heavy as he’d have thought.*
* Just proving to Jack that one can have a movie night with Sawyer and being fine with it.
He had always imagined Sawyer as one who couldn’t watch a movie without a remarks every two minutes*; but he had been proven wrong because he hadn’t spoken a word, all his attention on the screen. Now it was over and the end titles were running; Sawyer turned in his direction.
* I also think that in his regular!Sawyer version he’d talk all the way through the movie by the way. But here he isn’t his regular self.
“You’ve already seen it.”
Not a question.
“It’s my favorite movie.”
He could feel his cheeks heating again.
“You’re sayin’ it like you’re bein’ ashamed of it.”
“Well, it always passes as a girly movie.”
“Nothin’ to be ashamed. Hell, that wasn’t girly at all. Who did you like best?”*
* This was me trying to show how Sawyer is always very perceptive of things, or at least that’s how I see it. I actually didn’t know whether to cut the subsequent part or not because I realized it would be sort of obscure if one hadn’t seen the movie or known what’s it about, but I really needed that conversation, especially because I need to quote it in chapter five or so. Or at least so I have planned.
“What?”
“Of that bunch.”
“Why?”
“Just to know.”
“Who do you like best?”, he asks, knowing he’s smiling. He doesn’t have an idea of why.
“I asked you first. Why don’t you guess me?”
Jack couldn’t really wrap his head around how different and similar to his not-amnesiac self Sawyer was being. It seemed like a conversation they could have had, except that it lacked something. It was like Sawyer was actually having fun, but he wasn’t deliberately mocking him.*
* I hope I managed to keep the whole similar but different approach with Sawyer here. I think it’d be his instinct to ask Jack to guess him and not to give a straight answer, but he’d do it just for instinct. Not because he wants to have fun at Jack, but because he wants to have it with him. If I explain myself.
Anyway, that was the easiest question in the world.
“Rick.”
“Am I that easy?”, he replied, a tone pretending to be hurt.
“No, it’s just that...”
.. that before you lost your memory you totally were Craphole Island’s very own Rick Blaine.
“Well, I don’t know, you strike me like one who would like him.”
“He said a couple of interesting things.”
“Like?”
“Like that the world dying and bein’ put out of its misery part.”
Of course he would like that quote.
“That’s pessimistic. And it wasn’t the point of the movie, anyway.”*
*I thought about how I’d have casted them if I ever had to re-cast Casablanca for an AU. I’d have casted Sawyer as Rick, Kate as Ilsa, maybe Sayid as Laszlo and Jack as Renault and I went along with that. I mean, I don’t want to ramble too much with meta stuff here, but I think that Sawyer has a lot of the Rick Blaine attitude, especially the pessimism, while Jack after all is more like Renault that like the hero without stain.
“Maybe. Anyway, who’s yours?”
“My favorite? Guess me.”
For a second he felt goosebumps on his arms, when Sawyer’s eyes met him, a stare too intense for Jack’s own liking; it was like Sawyer was searching into his soul without having an idea he was doing so and for how little sense it made, he couldn’t help that thought.*
* I think they had a lot of these moments before S3; in such a situation it’d feel way more upsetting for Jack.
Then Sawyer shook his head and turned back to the TV.
“Renault.”
Jack had to be startled at that. How the hell could he have guessed it so fast?
“Even score. How did you know it?”
“Maybe I just should keep it for myself.”
“I’m not easily offended.”
“It’s... well, he knows what he’s doin’. He’s sure of it. Except that maybe he doesn’t like it. Scratch the maybe, you seen the ending. But he acts like everything is fine, before. It’s... I’m not sayin’ you don’t know what you do. You know. It’s just that especially today, when we were out... you are a sort of leader here?”
“Let’s put it that way.”
“Seems to me that you’re like him. You know what to do and you’re sure of it when you do, but you don’t like it.”*
*For me that’s more or less the essence of the whole Jack character. He does what he thinks it’s right, he’s sure of it when he does it but he never likes it, or at least doesn’t most of the time. I could link it with the whole Renault dilemma in Casablanca and I could see Sawyer guessing it in a second.
“I don’t.”, he had to admit. He wasn’t even surprised; Sawyer’s ability to see through most of his act wasn’t probably ever going to disappear and an amnesia wasn’t ever going to do the job.
There was silence, for a couple of seconds. Then Jack decided that it was time to end it before the atmosphere became awkward again.
“How about another?”
“Sure. I’m not sleepy, anyway.”
Jack takes the first tape coming into his sight. He hasn’t seen the movie and there isn’t a title. He recognizes only Marlon Brando, but he really doesn’t pay attention. Not when that last sentence was turning over in his head.
Sawyer was right; he didn’t like it, not a bit. Except that there really wasn’t any other solution and...
He suddenly turned when he felt something over his shoulder.
They were ten minutes into the movie and Sawyer was probably lying before because he had fallen asleep and his head was now settled on Jack’s shoulder, his hair brushing lightly over the bare skin on Jack’s arm when the sleeve of the t-shirt ended; for a second he panicked, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do.*
* For how much easier he can feel around Sawyer after the dinner, I couldn’t see Jack not freaking out a bit at it.
The first idea was to stand up, but if he did he was likely to wake him up and after that whole day, Jack couldn’t find it in himself, especially since Sawyer didn’t seem to be dozing or sleeping lightly, all the contrary. On his side, Jack really didn’t feel like following his example, he still was as awake as ever; and then he thought why not?
It wasn’t like Sawyer was ever going to kill him. Probably he would have felt embarrassed at worst the next morning and Jack couldn’t really believe that it was happening. He wouldn’t ever have guessed it two days ago. Alright, they had that ping-pong game and they had been mostly civil and respectful but from that to Sawyer sleeping with his head on Jack’s shoulder, there were miles of distance.*
* Surely, but I could see amnesiac!Sawyer not having a care about it or being just slightly embarrassed by it. Regular!Sawyer would have died of shame though, for how much he considers Jack a friend of sorts.
He brought his legs on the couch and settled back; it was more comfortable than he’d have ever thought. He turned his attention back to the screen, trying to understand what was going on between Marlon Brando, a blonde girl and the roof of some palace full of pigeons or something like that.*
* The movie is On The Waterfront, by the way. No particular reason for choosing that if not that I love Marlon Brando and it was the first that I thought of.
Even if he couldn’t help the last line from Casablanca from turning over in his head.
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Could it be?*
* Actually no, more than that, but Jack doesn’t know it yet ;)
glycerineclown. The post is still open here, the other commentaries will come asap and now I'll be out ;)“Jack, just tell us that you’ve chosen, like, the worst time ever to fish out from your newly discovered well of sense of humor.”*
Jack turned his head towards Charlie, shaking it. He wished it was the case, indeed.
“Sorry to say, but no, I probably I still haven’t developed one. Not as good as yours, anyway.”**
* I don’t know why but I thought that if someone had to speak first, it had to be Charlie. Now I’m never too sure when writing his lines, but I’ve been told that this one sounded much like him and he’d be one to point out Jack’s lack of sense of humor.
** I actually think that this answer is supposed to show that Jack has some hidden sense of humor. Sort of.
“Dude... so, he doesn’t remember, like, anything?”
Suddenly everyone was silent and Jack could feel everyone staring at him. He took a breath and shifted his eyes from Desmond to Sayid. No particular reason, except that they were the only ones who seemed to be on the sane and reasonable side of the fence. He voluntarily avoided looking at Kate.
“No. He doesn’t remember anything from before the crash, for that matter.”
No one spoke, at that; Jack dreaded to look closely at the crowd and the general expression was of something close to dismay, or along those lines anyway. Now, that was quite interesting because Jack hadn’t really thought of such a reaction.*
* I don’t know why I decided that this was going to be the general reaction, but I figured that in a situation such as the S3 finale one the spirits wouldn’t have been too high and an amnesiac Sawyer wouldn’t be easy to deal with, or at least the prospect wouldn’t have been too appealing. By the way, Jack shifts his eyes from Desmond to Sayid because that’s what I would have done, no real reason. Or maybe because I figured that they would have kept a clear head, Sayid because he’s Sayid and Desmond because he doesn’t know Sawyer well enough to freak out. While I figured Jack wouldn’t be looking at Kate of anyone.
No one said anything for a good two minutes, not breaking the silence until Desmond finally decided to do it.
“So what now, brother?”
Here comes the two million dollar question, Jack thought. He took a breath. He was sure it wasn’t going to be easy for anyone.
“Well, there really isn’t anything to do. He will remember everything eventually, but until he does... well, we all should try to do just a couple of things. When he comes out just... just introduce yourself like it’s the first time you see him, don’t mention a thing about what happened since the crash and well, just treat him like you’ve never met before. And if you know something about his life before the island, don’t tell him anything. If we do, it’ll just take more time to recover.”
“Jack, that’s crazy.”
He was forced to look at Kate, wondering how she was feeling right then.*
* Jack’s reasoning here is more or less in line with what I do know about how to treat such amnesia, though I just barely researched and all the rest comes from movies or such. I gave Kate that quote because I figured that being (at least for all she knows) the one that actually knows more about Sawyer’s life before the island, she would find it especially hard to hide it from him. Then again, I think of Kate as someone that puts her needs first.
“It’s the only way. I’m sorry but it’s all I can come up with right now and he’s already... let’s say disoriented on his own, he doesn’t need further confusion.”
Kate nodded, her mouth stretched in a thin line. Jack resolved on talking with her face to face as soon as this was over, but now he had to go inside and...
“Jack, could we decide just about one thing before you get him?”, asked Sayid, coming near him and speaking in the lowest possible tone.
“Yeah, sure.”
“About the houses arrangements... I had figured he would have wanted to be on his own, but now I guess that it is not going to be the case, right?”
Jack shook his head without even thinking about it.
“No. Of anything, he shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“That’s what I feared. Now, Desmond has to stay with Charlie for... well, it’s a long story that they explained me earlier and we’ll have to talk about it sooner or later. Right now just trust me on that. They need to stay together. Since Hurley wanted to stay with Charlie, too, I gave them the bigger one.”
“Good. So... isn’t there anyone who doesn’t know him too well who would avoid spilling something involuntarily?”
“Maybe Claire, but she’s with Kate.”
“What? Did they decide it?”
“Yes. Does it surprise you?”
“No, no, it’s just that... it doesn’t matter.”
“John and Juliet aren’t a match, right?”
“No. No, they aren’t.”, Jack thought shivering at the thought. If Sawyer had his epiphany in Juliet’s company the consequences were surely not going to be anything remotely near nice and well, he didn’t trust Locke with anyone who didn’t know with whom he was dealing.
“What I thought. Jack, I think he’d better stay with you.”
Jack hadn’t actually thought about that and he wasn’t that crazy about the idea truth to be told, but Sayid stopped him before he could speak.
“I mean, if something happened you would know what to do and you’d be way more careful than anyone else. I would not have problems but well, if he recovered memories just from his first days here... you know, I don’t think it would be a pleasant situation.”*
* I actually had thought hard about this house business. I mean, the basic premise I needed here is for Sawyer to share the house with Jack so I had taken it for granted, but when I arrived at that point I realized I should have at least explained that. Thank God Sayid is one that I think would take care of house arrangements and I let him do all the reasoning. I put Kate and Claire together not because of Eggtown but because I thought that Kate would rather avoid sharing a house with Sawyer in such a situation and since I pretty much liked their interaction when I still cared about Claire, I put them together. Especially since Charlie has to bunk with Desmond. Also, the whole visions thing should play a bigger role in the next part, or at least it’s supposed to.
Jack had to agree with that.
“You’re right. Okay, he’s going to stay here. It’s the best option anyway.”
Sayid nodded and left; Jack sighed, thinking that if everyone had the same attitude as Sayid maybe this could actually end better than he feared.
“Alright, I’m getting him. When we get out... please, just try to do what I said before.”
He knew he wasn’t ever going to get an enthusiastic response and so he settled on going back inside without waiting, already sure that something was bound to go wrong soon. Very soon.*
* I think that Jack would be pessimist enough to think that something has to go wrong.
--
As soon as Jack went, the silence broke and all that Kate could hear was chattering; she withdrew from the front row of the crowd and settled on staying behind, quite close but not really among all the other people.
She brought a hand to her head, trying desperately to make sense not of what was happening, but more of what the hell she was going to do now.
Sawyer wasn’t surely going to remember her; if it was a complete memory loss, as she had understood, there was no question about it. Which meant, as Jack had said before, that they were going to start from scratch.
Give each other a clean slate, she thought repressing a bitter laugh. Now, that was pure irony. She figured that he wasn’t even going to be the person she knew; and for how much she could have wished sometimes that he just could change a little, the bare idea of starting again with a completely different man was scary enough to make her skin shiver with goosebumps.*
* It took me two weeks to write this paragraph at the time. I swear that I didn’t know how to approach Kate in the whole thing, or at least in this specific part, also because I usually don’t understand her. I always thought that she has a certain wish for Sawyer to change at least slightly, whether she is aware of it or not, but in such a situation she would be forced to come up to terms with the fact that they’d have to start from scratch indeed. Also, this would be a golden occasion for her to solve her choosing between the other two angles of the triangle, but I also think that in the S3 finale she wasn’t ready and S4 just proved it anyway. I don’t think she’ll ever choose but that’s another matter. So I just tried to make clear that she doesn’t have an idea of what to do and try to be objective to her at the same time.
Maybe, she reasoned, at least it could’ve been an occasion to clear things up with Jack for good.
Oh, if there was a way she felt, that was confused. Confused as hell. She barely knew where she was standing before that trek, then Jack had gone and told her that, there had been that talk with Sawyer before and she didn’t know what to make out of everything. She had hoped to clear things up with Sawyer if and when he was back from the beach.
Seemed like it wasn’t the case, she though bringing instintively a hand above her stomach, then taking it away shaking her head. At least Juliet was going to have some result soon and well, before she wasn’t so sure of what answer she’d have liked to hear.
Now she didn’t wish for anything more than a negative result.*
*IMHO, I think she never wished for a positive result, but in this situation I would wish for every negative result in existence.
She was distracted from it all when the door of the house opened.
--
Jack heard the faint chattering from outside, but he decided to ignore it altogether. He took a breath and headed in the infirmary’s direction, hoping secretely that the memory loss term was of the very short kind and that the second he opened the door, things would have gone back to normal.
He did and when Sawyer turned towards him, sitting up on the bed, well, he was looking at him far too nicely for things to have gone back to normal.*
* I figured that if he really doesn’t remember anything he would be generally nice to everyone on instinct. I mean, I think that Sawyer’s whole attitude is defined by what happened to him during his life and that were the circumstances changed he’d be a much better person. Using the nice behavior towards Jack especially is what I was trying to do in order to show the change in his behavior.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked leaning against the door after closing it.
Sawyer barely shrugged, avoiding his eyes.
“Quite decent, everythin’ considered.”
“Did you remember anything, by chance?”
Sawyer shook his head with a helpless shrug of his shoulders and Jack took a couple of steps, coming near the bed.
“Well, it wouldn’t have been likely, if you did. At least everything else is fine, right?”
Sawyer raised his head, looking straigh at him; he nodded, his lips stretched in a thin line, his hands clenched together in between his knees.*
* I am fairly terrible at body language, but I was trying to give Sawyer an opposite one from his usual.
“Guess it’s time for the big meeting?”
Well, at least he still had some sense of humor left. Thanks for small favors.
“Yeah, guess it is. Hey, just one thing. You know... it’s a complicated matter, but I’ll try just to make it short. We didn’t stay here, before. We were on the beach.”
“When there were houses?”*
* I’m sure that if Sawyer watched Lost as an external viewer he’d think that it doesn’t have any logic whatsoever. In this case, knowing they stayed on a beach when there are houses looked to me like something very logic-less.
“Let’s just drop that. Anyway, we arrived here pretty much today and they’re still getting people settled down there. So, well, I just thought that since... you know, given the situation and everything, it would..”
Sawyer looked at him with an expectant stare, nodding; he obviously was waiting for Jack to arrive to the point and Jack would have happily done it, hadn’t he felt so damn confused and hadn’t he been blushing of everything. Because he could totally feel himself blushing.
“If you got your memories back it’d be good to have around someone who has an idea of what to do and so...”
“Doc, if you’re askin’ me to share your roof, since I guess this is your place, you don’t need to skim around that much. That’s fine. Not like you ain’t right. And, well...”*
Sawyer suddenly stopped talking and turned his head to his side.
“What?”
“Nothin’, leave it.”**
* I also wanted to point out that while Sawyer doesn’t remember Jack, he still has that ability to read him that I think is one of the most intriguing points of their whole interaction. So it made sense to me that Jack should freak out over asking Sawyer to share the house with him (because he always thinks about the not-amnesiac Sawyer) and Sawyer just guesses it at once.
** I left this open to interpretation, but at least for how I see it, he was blurting out that Jack was fine enough to share a house with or something along those lines. Then he doesn’t say it because he probably sees it as getting too far.
Jack nodded, not too convinced, but well, at least there hadn’t been a problem there, for which he was thankful enough.
“So, do you want to go? The sooner you do it, the sooner is over.”
Sawyer shook his head again.
“That’s crazy. I just... I can’t place a single thing since I woke up. And now I gotta meet forty people that will be even more embarassed than I am and I know I’m supposed to know who they are. Fuck, I can’t do this.”
“How do you know? You never tried it.”
Sawyer’s head slowly turned in Jack’s direction, his lips turned in a semi-shocked expression of contempt, very close to the one he always shot Jack during their first days on the beach. Now, he had to smile at it.*
* Made sense to me that there should be some things that don’t change and that Jack would try to lighten up the situation without actually saying something which isn’t really funny. Except that it works anyway, but that’s not the point. Also, I needed to work in that quote and it looked to me like the perfect place.
“Yeah, and I’ve never lost all of my memory as I sure haven’t tried shootin’ myself in the head, either. That was poor, y’know it?”*
* That was actually the second half of the quote. The fact that originally it were two people on a sorry excuse for a boat kind of dying while attempting to navigate through a cascade it’s another matter.
“I never was too famous for my sense of humor, I’ll concede you that.”
“Can’t say I don’t agree.”, was the answer, but Jack thought that it couldn’t have been possibly that bad since there was a ghost of a smile traced on Sawyer’s lips. It disappeared after two seconds, but it had been there, alright.
“Are we going then?”
“Alright. Let’s shoot ourselves in the head.”
He made to stand up and Jack extended his hand by reflex, thinking that Sawyer wasn’t probably going to mantain his balance at first; he was right because he swayed dangerously for a second, then grabbed Jack’s wrist and put his other hand on his arm until he seemed to stand on his feet. Then he nodded and let go of him.
Jack could feel his skin burning where Sawyer had touched it, but he didn’t say anything and opened the door of the room, letting Sawyer go first and then leading him to the main entrance.
He put his hand on the handle, still keeping it closed.
“On my three?”
“On your three. Fine.”
“Good. One, two, three.”
He nodded at Sawyer and pulled.
--
As soon as the door opened and they stepped out on the porch, the chattering ended quite abruptedly and Jack could think only This is already starting the wrong way. He could feel Sawyer tensing even if there were a good ten inches between them and a sideways glance confirmed it; Sawyer looked as nervous as your regular freshman going to his first job interview and he couldn’t see, in front of him, a face which didn’t show something not along the lines of embarassment.*
* I realize that this is very un-Sawyerish, but when you wake up remembering nothing and have to meet forty people who know you or so you’re told by a doctor with terrible bedside mannters, I think you’d have to be Chuck Norris in order not to get nervous.
Jack himself didn’t know how to deal with this; taking the first person he could find and introducing them to Sawyer whoever they were sounded completely idiotic, but well, the option of talking altogether didn’t exactly look brilliant to him, not at all, and...
“Well, if no one’s goin’, let me.”
His head jerked to the left side and he let out a breath of relief when he saw Desmond making his way to the porch, dropping his backpack on the ground when he was in front of them.
Then he brushed some hair away from his eyes and flashed them both a smile which was warm enough to be friendly and polite enough not to scare someone away.
“Well, brother, guess one has to start, aye? I’m Desmond, nice to meet you.”
Jack wasn’t surely expecting Desmond to be the one to break the ice but right then he was feeling thankful towards the guy as he has rarely felt thankful to someone since they crashed and he didn’t even know why he cared so much.*
*I didn’t choose Desmond just for the sheer eye candy factor. Desmond doesn’t really know Sawyer, so he’s probably the one in the camp that would be less embarrassed by such a circumstance. Also, he doesn’t have the time to freak out about amnesia when he’s still waiting for a flash anyway and for how much he might not be your usual social person, I think he’d know how to deal with the situation. Jack doesn’t know why he cares yet because I still haven’t gotten to the point where, you know, this thing actually becomes shippy, but I’m throwing the seeds here.
Sawyer nodded and took Desmond’s hand, shaking it lightly.
“James. Nice to meet you too, I guess?”
Desmond didn’t flinch when the name wasn’t Sawyer and as soon as Jack saw Charlie’s shocked face he made a gesture behind his back trying to make him understand that he wasn’t supposed to freak out.*
* Desmond wouldn’t flinch but I think that Charlie would freak out.
Kate saw the scene, too, and hurried to be behind Desmond in line; Jack got that she had known about Sawyer’s real name but for now it was better like that. At least the others had time to straighten themselves out.
“Hi, I’m Kate.”, she said stepping up, similing as kindly as Jack supposed she could, even if he could sense how hard she was trying to keep her face straight; Sawyer didn’t, though. And it was alright. How could he have?
“James.”
They shook hands and Kate managed to keep her face straight, smiling politely at him and getting another small flash of dimples back. So small it was almost unnoticeable, but she did notice it and hell, why did her hear skip a beat for that when before it had took him much more time to have such an effect on her?*
* For how much I’d rather pretend Kate didn’t exist while writing Jack/Sawyer (it’d be much easier), I can’t. So I tried to put myself in her shoes here and I like to think that she would have noticed Sawyer now when he doesn’t know her than she would have let on when he did know her.
When he left her hand she left the porch; Sayid had been behind her, ready to step up. She saw him shaking Sawyer’s hand and exchanging names with the corner of an eye, then when she was back in the rear Locke was stepping out and Juliet going down. Claire with Aaron, Charlie and Hurley were next and she had to smile when Hurley offered a half-hug. Then it was Sun, Jin, Bernard and Rose’s turn; then Karl and Alex. Danielle, too, but well, it wasn’t like they were introduced before. It seemed to be quite better than she expected and...
“Hey.”
Kate turned, almost freaked out. Jack knew how to be silent, when he wanted.
“Hey. I wasn’t expecting you down here.”
“Well, I’ll have to go back as soon as they’re over but... You know, I was wondering how you were doing and...”
“I’m fine.”, she answered a little too quickly. Jack caught it because he didn’t seem convinced at all.
“Are you sure? Listen, I know that you two were... well, I know this is probably hard on you and...”
“Jack, you’re making assumptions. I’m fine.”*
* I think that the basic of the Jack/Kate relationship is that he worries about her, she lies to him and he usually freaks out. I kind of liked how this dialogue turned out because he worries about her, she lies to him, he knows and freaks out. Might be just my interpretation though, I’m no Jack/Kate shipper by any mean.
Jack still didn’t look convinced, but as he turned he realized that almost everyone had introduced and decided to find another moment.
“Well, if you say so. Listen, now I’m gonna go. Maybe tomorrow we can, you know, discuss it better?”
“Oh... yeah. Sure. He’s staying with you?”
“It was the best option.”
Kate nodded as Jack turned and went back on the porch. She guessed it was better like this, so she could get a night’s sleep over it. It was darkening, anyways.
“Kate? Have you got a moment?”
She turned back, surprised to see Locke and Juliet standing behind her. Now, that was an unlikely combination.
“John? Sure, I have one. Is it about...”
“Yes, it is.”, said Juliet, turning a strand of hair around her finger. “He has something that might help. Or not. But well, maybe it was best to ask you first.”
Why me and not Jack?, was her first thought. Then she shrugged and nodded.
“What are you talking about?”
“Kate, do you know about the files they had on us?”*
* The files are actually a fundamental part of this story. They have to play an important role in the next chapter as soon as I manage to decide how I want to solve one issue I have with it and have to play an even more important role towards the middle. So here I was setting the whole files thing up.
--
It was already dusk when everything was over and Jack couldn’t have been happier of finally taking his shower. Everyone had gone to the assigned houses, Sawyer had more or less settled in a sort of guest room on the bottom floor saying that he was going to try to sleep it off and Jack had agreed with the idea. Surely it wasn’t going to hurt him, even if maybe he should have eaten something first.
Well, Jack himself could have used something to eat but he was dead tired and the bare idea of even trying to put a cold dinner together was something too far for him right then.
He went up to his room and settled for that long, hot shower he had been craving all that afternoon.*
* I was feeling so bad because poor Jack hadn’t had that shower, I had to mention it.
When he felt like there wasn’t a grain of sand over his skin and that he had washed away all the dust and sweat he gathered on that trip, he stepped out, wrapped himself up in a couple of clean towels and headed to the chest of drawers where he had put his clothes before.
He actually didn’t remember that he still had some night clothes there from when he was staying there.
Better like this, he though picking a pair of red* pajama pants and going back to the bed. He hoped to get a decent sleep at least that night.
* I didn’t choose that color by chance *coughs*.
--
Outside it was pitch dark and after three hours of turning in the bed and thinking about everything one shouldn’t think about when he wanted to sleep, Jack gave up and stepped out of the bed, shaking his head.
He hadn’t really slept seven hours straight since they crashed, but he didn’t understand why he couldn’t manage now. For the first time in three months they were all more or less safe, there weren’t Others coming, there wasn’t some sick kind of smoke monster out there, no one was lost, he didn’t really have a serious matter to worry about.*
* I actually think that Jack is one with seriously damaged sleeping patterns since it looks to me like one that wouldn’t mind losing hours of sleep because of his work and from what canon said about his time on the island, he’s either insomniac or never rest. So I figured he wouldn’t sleep here either. Sure, it’s also because he’s worried about Sawyer, but I don’t think he’d rationalize it.
He grabbed a clean plain t-shirt and put it on, then headed downstairs. He figured out that if he couldn’t sleep at least he could eat a Dharma bar or something like that; he couldn’t even remember the last time he had eaten something.
Then he stopped dead in his tracks on the stairs because there was noise down there. Someone was definitely walking around and without bothering to be silent.
Oh no, he thought, every possible negative scenario flashing through his head. It could have been Ben, it could have been some Other and damn, Sawyer was down there and he didn’t know and...
He brought a hand to his already aching head; no, it wasn’t the time to. Now, he was going down, having a look and then he would decide what to do.
Yes. Much more reasonable. He went down the stairs quietly, his bare feet* taking quick steps; the noise came from the kitchen, he realized when he was on the bottom floor.
* That’s me and my favorite kink. So what, I try it everytime I can.
Jack arrived at the door; he opened it without many ceremonies...
“Oh fuck!”
Right, maybe he had been too abrupt, but as Sawyer, dressed only in a pair of sort of comfortable trousers and in one shirt of Jack’s that he had lent him because he only had that ragged one and no one took his things from the beach yet, jerked in his direction, Jack felt sort of relieved. Then he suddenly realized that he was in his pajamas, or sort of and that Sawyer was no better; suddenly he felt embarrassed and could feel heat creeping up on his cheeks.*
* I figured that this would have been way embarrassing for the both of them, even if moreso with Jack probably. Sawyer wouldn’t exactly care about his state, but since Jack is the one having memories of their former relationship he’d probably freak the hell out. Also, I didn’t have Sawyer in Jack’s shirt for nothing. I just have a hard time with this pairing and can’t help a slow build up, so since this is a ten parter I thought I could take advantage of it and drop hints since the beginning.
Sawyer, seeing that it was him, let out a breath, even if he was visibly shaken.
“Damn, you really were scarin’ me. Did I... did I wake you up?”, he asked, his voice suddenly concerned.
Jack had to blink a couple of times before coming to terms with that sentence.
“Uh.. no, no, you didn’t. I just.. I couldn’t sleep and thought I could grab something to eat, then I heard you but...”
But I didn’t know if it was some crazy psycho coming back only to raise more problems, he kept to himself.* Sawyer nodded, seemingly relieved.
* Well, if Ben had showed up that’d have been just the cherry on the cake, right?
“Well, y’know, I couldn’t sleep, either. And I’m kinda starvin’. Guess we could... I dunno, try to put a dinner together?”
“It’s midnight.”
“So what? Looks like we ain’t gonna get any sleep soon.”
“Well, you have a point. I’m not that good at cooking though.”
Sawyer looked straight at him, then bit his lip, slightly lowering his head.
“Well... I just... I dunno how to put it.”, he resolved with a shrug.
“Try me.”
“It’s that... I don’t know why but I got an impression that if I tried to cook somethin’ I could. I can’t even remember if I’m any good at it or if I ain’t.”, he resolved, some color creeping into his cheeks, too. Jack didn’t know if he should have felt more surprised at Sawyer saying that he actually knew how to cook, at Sawyer offering to cook him dinner or at Sawyer blushing.*
* At this point I think that Jack keeps on being surprised just because he can’t separate former Sawyer from amnesiac Sawyer and of course all of this surprises him. I hope I was keeping Sawyer IC enough here for how much different he could be, but I always thought that if it wasn’t for Kate he and Jack would be friendly enough towards each other and Sawyer had made it clear in S2 anyway.
“Being better than me doesn’t take much. Well, suit yourself. I think there should be plenty of food there.”
Sawyer nodded and started to have a closer look at what was both in the fridge and in the cupboards, obviously not searching for a quick snack. Jack could feel his stomach almost aching and decided to do at least something to avoid thinking about it.
“You know what, if... if you’re cooking, I could just set the table? In the... living room?”
“Alright. Nice idea. Eatin’ while standin’ really ain’t a good perspective.”
Jack had to agree at that. He left the kitchen, heading to the living room.
He remembered where the tablecloth was, so he opened a drawer in a cupboard near there and he lay it on the table in the center of the room. Then, in the same cupboard, he found two glasses and the cutlery. He set both the glasses, a fork and a knife each on the two ends of the table and then it became a problem because he didn’t remember where the plates were.
He was sure everything was in the living room, Juliet had fixed him a quick lunch there once and it was goddamn disgusting; but everything had been there, alright. There were two identical cupboards near each other on the wall on his right and he really couldn’t remember whether it was the right one or the left one, even if he was sure it was one of them.
He went for the left and of course it was full of videotapes. He had never opened it before, he guessed, because if he had known there were movies there he might have watched a couple just for the fun of it.
He took five. It Happened One Night, The Philadelphia Story, Casablanca, Arsenic and Old Lace, Citizen Kane.
Seems like the Others don’t like technicolor, he thought; then he started to put them back again when the crazy idea came and he couldn’t shake it from his mind for how stupid it sounded.*
* I don’t know why I think that the Others wouldn’t like modern movies. It’s just that they seem stuck in another time/society and I can’t see Ben watching Titanic, or liking it. This point was further discussed in comments and actually brought me to put a modern (and horrible) movie in the Others’ household in another fic, but probably as said in comments, I think that older movies have just more of a romantic aura to them and a whole other depth. Also, I needed Casablanca because in order to have a quote from Casablanca in a later chapter I need Jack to quote it directly.
Scratch stupid, it was dumb. He and Sawyer definitely weren’t on the best of terms, they weren’t teenagers, they had probably never done most of the typical teenager stuff (Jack knew for himself and Sawyer had never struck him as one who was the typical teenager), Sawyer had fucking amnesia and it was just dumb.
He took a couple of videotapes and walked back to the kitchen, smelling something good. He thought it was pizza, but it was probably his mind playing tricks on him.*
* The fact that Jack has obviously had an idea that he would have never dared to propose regular!Sawyer and that he goes on with it was meant to show that he’s starting to feel more at ease around him.
He knocked on the door before getting in, finding Sawyer kneeling in front of an oven; a box of Dharma prepared dough for pizza granting a spectacularly fast cooking were empty on the table and a heavenly smell was filling the whole room.
“What have you done?”
“Well, there was that Dharma shit in the freezer. What brand is Dharma anyway? I just took it, guess it’s enough for two, then there was some...”
He took a can and read the label.
“Dharma Prime Tomato Sauce. I just... added the water and all the shit that was on the instructions there, used this on it, added a couple of other things I found in the cupboard and if it says the truth, we’re eatin’ in twenty minutes.”*
* I think I searched fast pizza preparates on the internet. Or maybe I went to the supermarket and checked the label of one. I really can’t remember but I haven’t made that up. Anyway I think that even with preparates you have to be good. I mean, I wouldn’t be able to do it properly and Jack has never struck me as someone who is any good at cooking.
Jack nodded, with a look of sincere admiration. That was a reason for which even in the real world he blessed the existence of take-aways.
“Listen, I was thinking... this probably sounds idiotic but... I found some movies in the cupboard there.”
“Movies? Like, those videotapes you have there?”
“Yeah. There are some more though. I don’t know, maybe you want to watch one while we eat? It’s been a... well, let’s say stressful day. I thought that... well, forget it, it’s ridiculous.”
For a second, to Jack it seemed like Sawyer’s features had become just a bit softer. Then he turned his attention to the oven, but there was a small smile on his lips.
“Well, that ain’t such a bad idea. Sure, why not? We have to pass the time, anyway. You choose the movie.”
“Me?”
“For me it’s the same. I really... well, I kind of can’t remember a single movie I’ve seen, Doc.”
Jack tried not to let anything show on his face hearing that name. Damn it, why did it had such an effect and why did he actually feel a shiver when he heard Sawyer calling him like that now? He had hated it in the beginning and then took it as one of those disgraces of life that you really can’t avoid. Why now...?*
* He’s just realizing now that he likes it when Sawyer calls him Doc. I think he’s actually fond of it but won’t ever admit that.
He shook his head and went back to the living room, putting back in its place everything that was on the table.
Then he turned on the TV, of course there was no signal, then picked the first tape he found and tried to see if it worked.
It worked and it was Casablanca.
He had to laugh at that.
Only Mark Silverman had ever known that it was his favorite movie. To everyone else, it was Apocalypse Now, which was famous enough and, well, not-girly enough to avoid any sort of remarks when he was in med school; but truth was, he had seen it at Mark’s with his mother and his sisters during one of the few sleepovers he was allowed, maybe he was eight, or nine, or whatever, and he could still remember crying at the end and feeling as embarrassed as he had never felt all his life. Mark had thankfully never told anyone the secret and Jack had kept it for himself.
Now, he guessed that it was destiny or something like that.*
* This actually had me brainstorming. I mean, Casablanca has been my favorite movie for a while and while I think that it could be Jack’s favorite movie, I also think that for someone such as Jack was brough up, he would feel ashamed of liking such a sentimental and kind of over-the-top movie in the sense of clichés that it has. Of course it works exactly because it’s all a sentimental cliché which taken as a whole is something you can’t resist, but looking at it objectively, it seemed to me that he would lie outright about liking it. And if only one person had to know it, it’d have been Marc. Apocalypse Now looked like a manly-enough movie that he could get away with so I went with it as the substitute.
When he came back in the kitchen, Sawyer was turning off the oven.
“Is Casablanca alright with you?”
“Sure. Told you, I don’t have an idea whether I’ve seen it or not. Though I know what’s it ‘bout. I think.”
Sawyer opened the oven, two dish cloths between his hands; then he took out the pan and lay it on the table. It was tomato pizza indeed, fresh, fragrant, with some basil leaves spread on the surface (does Dharma Basil even exist?, thought Jack).
“It smells delicious. Compliments.”
“I ain’t done a thing myself.”
“I’d have burned it. So, we’re bringing it there?”
“You wanna eat it from here?”
Jack himself felt surprised of not wishing for a more civilized way of eating it, but in truth, he didn’t feel the slightest need. He grabbed some paper napkins and a knife on the counter; then he just shrugged.
“Why not?”
“Well, fine with me.”*
* I figured neither of them had experienced the Great Movie Watching With Friends While Eating Not Healthy Food business, so I went all the way with it here. Of course Sawyer doesn’t know, but that wasn’t the point.
Sawyer put it on a tray which he had found while exploring the cupboards before and he brought it to the living room; he sat on the couch while Jack started the tape, then when Jack joined him he took the knife and cut himself a piece. Jack did the same and he took the first bite as soon as the voiceover started. He had to say that it really tasted delicious.
With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But, not everybody could get to Lisbon directly, and so a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up - Paris to Marseilles... across the Mediterranean to Oran... then by train, or auto, or foot across the rim of Africa, to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon; and from Lisbon, to the New World. But the others wait in Casablanca... and wait... and wait... and wait.
--
The clock on the wall said two in the night when it was over; they hadn’t spoken a word during the whole of the movie, the pizza was finished by Ilsa’s night visit at Rick’s bar, there were a few inches between them on the couch; Sawyer had draped his legs on the couch, Jack sat still with his feet on the floor. He felt full but not heavy, the atmosphere wasn’t as heavy as he’d have thought.*
* Just proving to Jack that one can have a movie night with Sawyer and being fine with it.
He had always imagined Sawyer as one who couldn’t watch a movie without a remarks every two minutes*; but he had been proven wrong because he hadn’t spoken a word, all his attention on the screen. Now it was over and the end titles were running; Sawyer turned in his direction.
* I also think that in his regular!Sawyer version he’d talk all the way through the movie by the way. But here he isn’t his regular self.
“You’ve already seen it.”
Not a question.
“It’s my favorite movie.”
He could feel his cheeks heating again.
“You’re sayin’ it like you’re bein’ ashamed of it.”
“Well, it always passes as a girly movie.”
“Nothin’ to be ashamed. Hell, that wasn’t girly at all. Who did you like best?”*
* This was me trying to show how Sawyer is always very perceptive of things, or at least that’s how I see it. I actually didn’t know whether to cut the subsequent part or not because I realized it would be sort of obscure if one hadn’t seen the movie or known what’s it about, but I really needed that conversation, especially because I need to quote it in chapter five or so. Or at least so I have planned.
“What?”
“Of that bunch.”
“Why?”
“Just to know.”
“Who do you like best?”, he asks, knowing he’s smiling. He doesn’t have an idea of why.
“I asked you first. Why don’t you guess me?”
Jack couldn’t really wrap his head around how different and similar to his not-amnesiac self Sawyer was being. It seemed like a conversation they could have had, except that it lacked something. It was like Sawyer was actually having fun, but he wasn’t deliberately mocking him.*
* I hope I managed to keep the whole similar but different approach with Sawyer here. I think it’d be his instinct to ask Jack to guess him and not to give a straight answer, but he’d do it just for instinct. Not because he wants to have fun at Jack, but because he wants to have it with him. If I explain myself.
Anyway, that was the easiest question in the world.
“Rick.”
“Am I that easy?”, he replied, a tone pretending to be hurt.
“No, it’s just that...”
.. that before you lost your memory you totally were Craphole Island’s very own Rick Blaine.
“Well, I don’t know, you strike me like one who would like him.”
“He said a couple of interesting things.”
“Like?”
“Like that the world dying and bein’ put out of its misery part.”
Of course he would like that quote.
“That’s pessimistic. And it wasn’t the point of the movie, anyway.”*
*I thought about how I’d have casted them if I ever had to re-cast Casablanca for an AU. I’d have casted Sawyer as Rick, Kate as Ilsa, maybe Sayid as Laszlo and Jack as Renault and I went along with that. I mean, I don’t want to ramble too much with meta stuff here, but I think that Sawyer has a lot of the Rick Blaine attitude, especially the pessimism, while Jack after all is more like Renault that like the hero without stain.
“Maybe. Anyway, who’s yours?”
“My favorite? Guess me.”
For a second he felt goosebumps on his arms, when Sawyer’s eyes met him, a stare too intense for Jack’s own liking; it was like Sawyer was searching into his soul without having an idea he was doing so and for how little sense it made, he couldn’t help that thought.*
* I think they had a lot of these moments before S3; in such a situation it’d feel way more upsetting for Jack.
Then Sawyer shook his head and turned back to the TV.
“Renault.”
Jack had to be startled at that. How the hell could he have guessed it so fast?
“Even score. How did you know it?”
“Maybe I just should keep it for myself.”
“I’m not easily offended.”
“It’s... well, he knows what he’s doin’. He’s sure of it. Except that maybe he doesn’t like it. Scratch the maybe, you seen the ending. But he acts like everything is fine, before. It’s... I’m not sayin’ you don’t know what you do. You know. It’s just that especially today, when we were out... you are a sort of leader here?”
“Let’s put it that way.”
“Seems to me that you’re like him. You know what to do and you’re sure of it when you do, but you don’t like it.”*
*For me that’s more or less the essence of the whole Jack character. He does what he thinks it’s right, he’s sure of it when he does it but he never likes it, or at least doesn’t most of the time. I could link it with the whole Renault dilemma in Casablanca and I could see Sawyer guessing it in a second.
“I don’t.”, he had to admit. He wasn’t even surprised; Sawyer’s ability to see through most of his act wasn’t probably ever going to disappear and an amnesia wasn’t ever going to do the job.
There was silence, for a couple of seconds. Then Jack decided that it was time to end it before the atmosphere became awkward again.
“How about another?”
“Sure. I’m not sleepy, anyway.”
Jack takes the first tape coming into his sight. He hasn’t seen the movie and there isn’t a title. He recognizes only Marlon Brando, but he really doesn’t pay attention. Not when that last sentence was turning over in his head.
Sawyer was right; he didn’t like it, not a bit. Except that there really wasn’t any other solution and...
He suddenly turned when he felt something over his shoulder.
They were ten minutes into the movie and Sawyer was probably lying before because he had fallen asleep and his head was now settled on Jack’s shoulder, his hair brushing lightly over the bare skin on Jack’s arm when the sleeve of the t-shirt ended; for a second he panicked, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do.*
* For how much easier he can feel around Sawyer after the dinner, I couldn’t see Jack not freaking out a bit at it.
The first idea was to stand up, but if he did he was likely to wake him up and after that whole day, Jack couldn’t find it in himself, especially since Sawyer didn’t seem to be dozing or sleeping lightly, all the contrary. On his side, Jack really didn’t feel like following his example, he still was as awake as ever; and then he thought why not?
It wasn’t like Sawyer was ever going to kill him. Probably he would have felt embarrassed at worst the next morning and Jack couldn’t really believe that it was happening. He wouldn’t ever have guessed it two days ago. Alright, they had that ping-pong game and they had been mostly civil and respectful but from that to Sawyer sleeping with his head on Jack’s shoulder, there were miles of distance.*
* Surely, but I could see amnesiac!Sawyer not having a care about it or being just slightly embarrassed by it. Regular!Sawyer would have died of shame though, for how much he considers Jack a friend of sorts.
He brought his legs on the couch and settled back; it was more comfortable than he’d have ever thought. He turned his attention back to the screen, trying to understand what was going on between Marlon Brando, a blonde girl and the roof of some palace full of pigeons or something like that.*
* The movie is On The Waterfront, by the way. No particular reason for choosing that if not that I love Marlon Brando and it was the first that I thought of.
Even if he couldn’t help the last line from Casablanca from turning over in his head.
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Could it be?*
* Actually no, more than that, but Jack doesn’t know it yet ;)
